WWL>Topics>>1-5 7am Tommy, a friendly divorce?

1-5 7am Tommy, a friendly divorce?

Jan 5, 2015|

Can you have a friendly divorce? Tommy talks to Dr. Karen Ruskin, a licensed marriage & family therapist, about tips for splitting up amicably

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Well made it goes to the new year. Yeah. Seems like go we always get these stories out of Florida this time Winter Park Lerner Florida the whisper lake apartments and sorry Jason to a school. On the wrong. And a and a go day I bought a new gun. Anyone to see how it worked. So the fire between tennis. Fifteen shots in a whole wall separating the apartments from business complex out K. 'cause you know it's the wild west structure axle would like to just go out and set some old cans optimism being hands on a stomp and fire away. He. He went to jail once again like this shouldn't. Now even reach out loud buildings in agony on TV some kind of intelligence test wanna come back to talk about divorced David. Lot of people may be after the holidays aside you know line we'll New Year's resolution or the year we're getting now IE but anyway there's a new startup company that wants to be the intermediary between divorcing partners so that emotions taken out of the equation. And logical financial decisions Rolen have you ever been through it you know basically you breaking double partnership here in terms of business out. And not just the emotional because when you see that paper that says blank the blank. You realize okay this this is more than just a broken heart there's a broken this 7-Eleven David Blake dummy Tucker. Shelden Williams Jordan fetal ball coming back here on debit WL. I hate it's 715 hanging in the forties right now and is going to be kind of chilly today with highs only around 52 and winds out of the northeast at eight to fifteen. So lady from California Michelle Crosby who used to be practicing family. Lawyer has started a new start up business called we divorce. She says you know already take credit for even 299. Divorcing couples. In California new top out of court in 2013 and 2015. And she plans on. Expanding it and any management through a divorce knows that it's a lot better to keep an out of court because once it becomes. All the legal you're in your personal business becomes old public. And he can be very expensive sometimes one partner can drag the other through the courts and if you look back and evaluate what exactly did you lawyer accomplish for you it's well built in spend money doctor Karen Ruskin joins us right now. License manage. License like you're rated had family therapist and author doctor Karen's. Got Kerry and Russ skins marriage manually rated up the sheet licensed marriage and family therapists and author of doctor Karen's marriage manual morning dot. Good morning. Happy new year. Oh great here are going again. Nice to hear you doctor Karen thank you for coming on with a so when it comes a company like we've borders. Z it is. Is there any future nano or do people are generally insist on acting emotionally after divorce not rationally. I believe that you're going to have people in camp and that are experiencing. Eight full of them and in fact me decide that they don't want to be amicable all that they are very angry at all and bitter. And dare go in right. So the so to speak. Then you have the camp of people that are just so glad to know that there are about the year she will help them. And to be able to have a chemical divorce and even nobody indeed we'd be hurting at the well. That the are really trying to eat my April. How to feel healthier and at a feature. Individual self posted divorce if there's children involved very recognize. The importance of how old they interact with there's need to be access apps that blew me at experiment on them on the of their children feel that the fine bull camp. On this lady that started the the company we've borders. She is as we set of former practicing family lawyer and she says well it would made or even getting into this. Was she appeared in court fifteen times during her own parents divorce proceedings and at age nine. I judge asked her a nine year old to decide with whom she'd rather live. And it. Powell I guess I'm asking doctor Ruskin Ken. Both the mother and a father not realized. That these kids are not to be used as pawns and saddling their personal vendetta if you will against the other. The bad Lee. She certainly not alone trapping in the key in terms of padding. Parents who put their children in the middle what it is all. Parents mean realize. Some all right guys in mentally logically intellectually part of the mine recognizes. And you're seeing things in June he would things to put your children in the middle. What happened in the emotional mine when it comes divorced are too many. Over the logical intellectual mind and sadly. Children to become in the middle we feel like. You want your child to beat loyalty you need fees and wrongs by other. The buy out that you want the child in idly EU that is because it but he appears asking me you know an important key hit. I help couples that are built through a divorce when I'm working with them. Is to truly recognize that the must come first during the process. You've allowed yourself to put your emotions. For. Emblem of the children. You are now being in them. And all it that your own individual health and well. Because the fact is it not doing well you gonna do well. So it's really disappointing I seen that happen and it will continue to happen and I'm so glad that there are from it. To my belt provide counseling pitches in your cap without regard to. The lawyer who now creating a business specifically on trying to happy. Of the year let's call it divorce prop that they need to be sort of like it's there because there are books and really. Are in need help and they want help they just don't know what action right to say. Hops a court system generally work in terms of age of kids and and asking them which parent they wanna live with because and think in. And on back to when I was nine years old and perhaps kids are more advanced now. They I was having a hard time learning how to tie my shoes and now you ask in a child to make a major decision. Who upbeat in most cases loves both parents. And you know doesn't seem fair no mean task at child that young to say okay turn your back on this one. And new deal love more or this one and so DD is there an age appropriate thing where. Typically would be that you know mark Gingrich camp typically what I hear from parents is that the don't want it could be that the the judges. Scheme that kid at a young age. They want it was optioned out here at spiritually angry they each pretty. The key to be and but in the end they ultimately don't really. Their trial period and most prepared for the most part I feel maladies are at war. On Smart about understanding built the last how awful that is the target but it certainly. On it there ejection might do that certainly. Hope not it's definitely not the majority of cases and I'd like that's the right in denial because the fact is there's apparently. Interview out which does happen to find out what they're thinking and what they feeling not putting them on the spot but erratic understanding their perspective. Our troops and the council Ernie ample individual count on your guardian life and but the fact of the matter is is at an annual spending annual. Despite ultimately it would be very tricky you want in the war of the chop and thinking. But the tipping point captain the ultimate decision. Isn't really the direction ago and that's why I really like a pact to be important. A jury in the court struck that she looked at a combination platter of daily counseling adult individual count and The Beatles and for the kids. Because then you accurately and completely seeking to read together package that makes the most sense for everybody rabbit and it keeps being. I hear on the stand that speak interrogation light in your feet and that makes and that it and that's really. Now. And it's hard enough for adults and figure they wanna live with and take a break we come back directly Caron. Let's get it from the positive sides when he fifteen new year what can spouse is due to get along better. To make sure that they don't wind up. In this situation seven Tony two time related traffic in for that we go to Terrell Robinson. Doc is talking to a friend a virus doctor Karen Ruskin a licensed marriage and family therapist author of doctor Eric Cairns. Marriage manual and we're talking earlier about couples ending a relationship civilly. And not. Dragging their business in the court and hopefully working it out. As financially responsibly as they can but tiger religion and a brand new year to when he fifteen what's the best way to. Keep a marriage or relationship together and stay out of the whole divorce process. Loved the question is let's talk about couple for twenty years in the near Tyre there and thank you for mentioning my parents are manual. And over forty get cute if you would and number one. You're me you look at the time and meet the time. Or your me doing on being together and together you don't laden. And the Irish connection really connection. Another. Great day is communicate with you're out you're meet if not then too many popped. And then after it. Every single day and I mean. Do you want my name where you're out detonate and then be. Action and they dare life easier being ill and appreciated. Unit but you'd be ample. And we mentioned army. I just came out very exciting. Block and back in mental health. And it up Bulger individual wanna take my mental challenged it over 200. Tips that's one piece that byte per day being like. Verbalize. Appreciate the person you're. What are the plan ordinary or any relationship. But typically we have to meet the trying to take time for our me. For our kids for old men about it immediately why should grow sure you wanna eighty get here meet that there be key. Because the thinking about it and treating them as actually taking them for granted. You know what happened to plant dated bordered. I get a text comes in from perhaps or somebody that met over the holidays how do you know if you're marrying for love. Rather than lost. And hot hot hot you know what you now. Even going back at requesting that might me. Yeah and I did and I mean you act. It free would that bother you out. Being that you can live for a life. You need to change. Personal Albert Howard those negative enough you start thinking actually in and he would go over our. Time. That's the big. Because the act is the three legs that are emotional in the physical and in the the overall umbrella strategy into Asia and in the actual blood and you missed being. That. Well then. You're getting that her. Actual excitement and not her. You know emotional and intellectual and actually need that example or the end at the court he might now. Nearly get a good news real quick the new book is ten seconds a mental health. Yet been on. Eighteen provide an audit cracked up the tactic Caron rot in dot com TRE and RU at hand. Dot com and technical out I think the money more time than that thank you doctor. My flight air. Have a great day you had a wonderful Tony fifteen back to Karen Ruskin. Licensed marriage and family therapist and author of doctor Cairns man marriage manual now. Ten seconds to mental hell yeah will be back talking about this Heidi keep my marriage new and rational and Tony fifteen. Is it timely for somebody new did you find somebody new and how do you make somebody you're already whip. Knew going keep it fresh 730 back in a flash David you don't want the New Year's resolutions I made and and I. Sent down and jotted some notes about some things that I can do better in that and it did you do that and now. So you're doing everything perfect right now is absent a yup that's it Shelden didn't do anything it is apparently he's doing their innings are under and Jordan didn't John anything I mean there's apparently he's doing everything perfect and I was the only follow up around now you're surrounded by perfection by Italian com. It one of the resolutions I made was not to talk about my divorce anymore because it's over a gang. But I will say this. Having. Taken up the chores they'll were being done. Mom. I'll admit that I had no idea. I had no idea what was involved in. Dusting. In keep and how close in Dillon is still an ad I designer of this there hack of an admission on examiner I had no idea how I really didn't I'm trying to be honest about it I had no. Earthly idea how time consuming it was. How hard it is to keep everything neat and clean and so forth so make that a nation but since we're talking about. A new company yelled we've voice they call it where everybody gets along fine do you think you realize. Understand everything your spouse goes through or do you take them for granted. I liked and and that doesn't mean there weren't. Severe problems and men are just say and in this case I didn't realize. What the other birds was doing my parents and I should mention tonight and I'd like to know at T six 1870 do you take your partner for granted or do you realize everything that. It is that they do and if you are. A woman what do you want men to do could you might keep somebody together and when he fifteen. L what is it that you don't think they get. About what you do and is not about your spouse in general we're talking here and if you're a man. Who what is it. Debt do you think your spouse doesn't get about what you do and how hard you have an end you know one of the examples is. The woman's been home all day with two kids own dad's been work in and then bill mom says you know what they're yours I'm done. And the dances will look at a working all day outlet. Are you gonna go to my job a dual a bit what I do. Arms I'd like to know about that 260187. Mean did you ever get divorced. Like I said in and realized. Yet no idea what all was. Involved I don't I'm gonna goth girl full of advice from experience. I say yes a lot. That's ominous yes a lot is important I think it's also important to help with the work that either one hand and error. And it mom says okay I'm done these two kids in the bath I get that but I don't know how. Mom can reciprocate to bed because I don't think being gunned down a work and do whatever it is. That did does or the other way around if your house did you make LT 601870. Back in a flash and evidently well. Jordan vehicle lane in bumper mean note Shelden Williams laying a bumper music and like this combination jazz and swing. In an Indian than they kill. Like it though by the way of anything coming up Thursday's are going to be throwback Thursdays. On. The show in Morgan a dominant try to do some one hit wonders. And drive you crazy years to wait who was a subdued then that was on my conversation at the nicely Indian Home Depot yesterday. Don and Algiers good morning we're talking about spouses and appreciating them and he thinks they have any idea what it is. Dad the other does how you deal and happy new year. Born and the EU I am not an. And and well. And that nearly at an. Active. And appreciate it. Reminds. Exeter. In the act. Like. An. And there. Is another GAAP. Bought. Into the equity out there that Allen's lack EB. And out into. It either. More appreciation. Happened. Think that that. Happens indict him. I'm under. There. And shell are. Being you know he would argue and check in green and make sure on. How much he's not act like you know well. Body. And not I'd be. Like. There. I left the dog it's a lesson because you got four kids you're in part time you take care of the house you do and everything. And I don't know your husband I'm I'm just saying is looking at it from the outside it could be you know what. Give Donnie he has that'll make. Every. That aren't in. It right now he's not an. Issue. I can't wait. And you you know. Want to. Chat click. So. I'm an out. He every now and one in. 08. I really need it but buried there aren't you. Like that eat. Mac. An Italian island. That's one thing I realized it is not I would rather and I said this before give me. And as my standard for everything give me a pile of mud and a wheelbarrow and shovel and I would rather do that then do housework I really. I'm willing Little League team and an. Eighteen year old. Girl and an annual. Where to go to not to. If you two were to switch do you think for a week if you were to switch on and what kind of work he does. If he were just to do your job for a week do you think he'd get it. He could do. Them and the cook once a week in India and not try and I handled. Who managed and cleans entry cooks. Want. But win but. I can't help me clean so that helped a little bit but you need to eat it you can check. When I just a mean and rescued on. It would. EE. Mail him. He kitchen at well you know there is a lot so. There. I Texans and those are your kids and that seems kinda. Sexist to me in and kind outdated because they're his kids still are they not. Well actually three of them aren't you can't and then that might it might not like. But there but they aren't there you know and so. I'm. Don't wanna be. Attack. And the and it always making sure every it together. On the disciplinarian. You know. At some point each category. And Egypt and eat eagle exit on that at at the women you. And not him that that game and never leave them out and eat I appreciate it go to work everyday and you know I AME you know X amount out you know it it'll be a legally and I appreciate. But acts. I'd like platinum. To cut him. Be important that. Not mean you know I don't know when he took. Out all of the ways and all I love him thank you on terror. Have a happy Nia writes and 51 more calls when we come back time deleted traffic. I live in Terrell Robinson. I just started with a conversation about a startup company we voice weary in need tries to get those parties ecologically. And financially. Responsible where they don't drain each other. Of cash not to mention dragon and kids and themselves through court where a lot of things become public record a new avenue business dragged all out there. And it Brennaman it's in the state lawyers and nieces kind of along the line siblings like music you know what. I'll fight it out. We're billing it and then if there's anything left yelled and decide and look at have a problem the deck is attorney should not work for free Tammy program good morning. And other WL. A happy new year. I understand married arm while there. And how you know you're artwork. And you know their team elected. Them. Some and it's like a cheap either tell them. So you get help with that. Yoakam. In danger that blue shirt there. Idiotic call. And sometimes you know that extra little like may rapidly. And pick your dishwasher. Back to close in the kitchen. Closed. A little things that help. You know it. Well in the beautiful. But every now and try to you know to get a little help around. Yeah I even go out you know what should grant. You call. Isn't I don't in your home between. Quote now openness to Russian marks man. And women jobs out keep the outside you he'd be inside or do you logically say well I like doing this I'll do it Muehlegg doing antsy and do that. Not really. But you know I think it's a good thing you'd be you know. At me. Or didn't look like. Who wouldn't let me ask you real quick before we leave to go to Miami. Do you ever either wanna do you ever criticize the way the other one does it be at loading the dishwasher cutting grass. I'm. I want that yes thank you Tammy have a great new year I'm glad you called and we'll pick this up when we come back and evidently.