WWL>Topics>>5-31 9am Tommy, adult kids living at home

5-31 9am Tommy, adult kids living at home

May 31, 2016|

Tommy talks to Dr. Karen Ruskin, a marriage & family therapist & author of 9 Techniques for Raising Respectful and Responsible Children, about when your adult kids move back in with you.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Well we've covered a lot of ground today starting with that. The libertarian convention over the weekend and Gary Johnson and and move on this gorilla that unfortunately was killed in the Cincinnati zoo and a four year old boy. And a responsibility of the mothers Darian we talked about lethal injections. And now to talk about the move an idea parents' home and living on your own but first I say this about Donald Trump and his veterans thing. He would have to be some kind of idiots yeah some kind of major. Follow up. To be line about this veterans saying now on and off they're trying to make a story where there is none. But if if if he. Somehow lied about this. You know that it would make me question. Not so much his ethics which would certainly be a part of it but just is intelligence. Roger says there snooping around trying to find apparently some dirty or some some answers to the questions. As even an earlier CBS report they said that there's really no. I'm much doubt that he has done more for veterans and anybody and again saw IAE this six million dollars saying I'm I don't know. So basically they're saying that. He said he gave six million dollars and taught you better resolve and spent. And the money's been spent so now they're trying to do. Kinda like and on top see whereas diligence and got the money in order one and he's got a lot of Sanaa. Today some of the the millennial also wondering where their money went. Because for the first time ever more young adults are still living with their parents. Better romantic partner. Which generates about a thousand questions. In my mind in here to help audiences so mom is her friend doctor Karen Ruskin a cycle therapist. Marriage and family therapist author of nine. Techniques for raising respectful. And responsible children that's the book right dot nine techniques raising respectable and responsible children. You've got it part of being respectful to yourself is being able to move on with his life part of being responsible of course this. Moving the island effect agreed that they write and that's what it meant. It is Ken and I just ask you to give your Twitter address out please. Sure doctor Karen redskin DR KER. And RUF. K I end. So it's act doctor Karen Ruskin. You cry and I mentioned that because usually you say about me on and on about it miss sent a bomb. Help me above colonials and taken responsibility. And is this a function of the economy is this a function of the way. Parents are raised Maloney else had has how have the days of kids do and as well or better than their parents gone forever. I gave you three big questions there dot jump in where you feel comfortable. I read great question and the answer lie in the viewing it. Meaning if you refuse to bring. And economists say somebody who focuses on the financial certainly they go to ankle. If you bring on a parenting expert they might go that ankle. Can't think all the money of course plays a role in the decision that we meet one must understand that for every generation. We all struggle. And we need to. To look. Okay. On what we can get to take action and responsibility to move finally to go out of the net and slot. So I can tell you specifically. A major factor is the role that parents are playing in raising their kids. Specifically the philosophy that millennial has been ballot. Which. Drum roll please. People talked and I don't meaning. Did beneath me a college graduate should be able to block and amount of money. That you. The next shot. The safety is problem it poll. The CNET unfortunately many parents have which they blocked a concept that protect. It does not mean. Keeping them keep the not up on his way to protect. And he didn't I take. It right. Too ethnic he literally tea and you do that. And they become young adult. As they get closer to aging teenager on where it is very important to help them help themselves gain independence and to recognize. That's talent and is now up. Dane and that cat and can help should be able to. Feel empowered and making choices that help but feel like we are. I. I negative jumping some of the forget but remember where you were pleased so what you're clan is. Everybody gets a ribbon is not a good thing. If topics you know what do you think he did very concept and and yet everybody getting rid and it is not a bad thing. Thought I didn't get the idea that. That children. At the age should feel that no matter why me. Should get a bed and they should stay at home that everybody should. Let them and then you me I'm all about. On pot that feedback I'm all about protecting your children and small that they eat it's imperative that you helped them so much. Not to be co dependent on. Now I'd like to get into this I mean I'm okay because a lot of listeners are thinking. Right and my twenty want to my critique your thought it at a college. Hopping around there helping with the younger kids. I loudly as bad. If you've become dependent on your doubts and they aren't you staying home. The problem because. 20/20. 120 Q did did that time aide that they need to be able to go out on although it might be hard tiny actually. Kelly I have to live with some roommates. That is the way to go rat and be in your home. Better cricket to get out and go to college. Somewhere else even if it's in town and and stay somewhere else at a dorm what have you and commute if in fact the parents can afford this. Or this world. Well what's what's so wonderful about these days right. Is that even if you as a parent cannot award. It's nice that you painfully how there are home and Mary aid and those you know things and even though appearance they're afraid of oh. But then don't have to pay it back on the line. You know like you'll be paying it back for ever if you don't help your kid what expression. The whole thing with that you know teach a kid. His lack. It is not the gorilla cage. A Annie I give Amanda the issue lead for a night teaching this issue liberal like. You are and deep economic. They were a regular basis in terms of you said kids thought you know what they jobs beneath me below about the other way around where. Maybe you and science and people listening always wanted to do was get out of our parents' house and be on our own not anything against our parents it seem like a natural progression. So I would ask you then. Do kids take jobs. Rather then. You wanna get out house at being their goal. Their goal is you know I don't be comfortable and work a little push myself on ramp of a Randall over the parents now. Is that going on as well. That's actually going on and therein lies the problem what happened the motivation. But you know that there at that other topic that beacon tight that I believe the culture as a society we've been instilling that belief that that the belief system of 01 car and achieve and get. And Mac so be very deep problem what we are teaching culturally an iron I am I believe. I'd be important the teaching your children that you worked your hat off and even if you don't achieve the level that you Bonnie keep working about not because if you work harder and hard. Then you can achieved. Unfortunately a lot of cubic government. Ought to hang out because she here and don't be a typical. Through much yet is that yeah he who Leon we need. And yeah now. And I think people don't realize you don't have to be perfect again how were the other people will return segment doctor Karen Ruskin psychotherapists. Marriage and family therapist author of nine techniques for raising respectful and responsible children when we come back will address. Hadi established rules and then people 120 and 21. To have girlfriends or boyfriends and and in all that what about charge him rent. We'll be back Tommy Tucker double WI. Area and I'm 23. And Stanley therapists author of nine techniques for raising respectful and responsible children. Get the business out of the way where he Heidi at the book not. I'm Michael I think you for acting happy to provide an autographed. Common areas around on the puck a little special. Note for anyone to order it on my web site doctor Karen brought in dot com that's www. RK ERE and are you let can't dot com people of the book does of course blog article but I agree that anybody's interest in reading more about parenting and marriage her mental health issues. Now let me get back to owes it available to many text and in on audiobook. Oh good crack at her house signed books W redeployment. I don't you know it. We least a lot of time with me I would be happy to coincide. Because inaudible any deal. You're not a millennial by guys you will indeed do anything it takes it seriously its next. Swelling to do everything they did not. Audience nobody can immediate thank you for asking. Attacks comes in and says and past generations. People lived in homer's Iliad married these generations usually did better than the ones before what is your argument. For that another owns his ideas don't think blue oklahomans are you more established make young people lazy. Com that's cute Iraq and people young people. That spot right there are some young people that are on leafy that are living at home that I'm working hard that are helping their family they are of course the action absolutely. What we're talking about here is not that beautiful exception that's working hard at helping their family we're talking unfortunately. About that the group of millennial. Who are living at home who are not working hard to achieve and who are running parents should there. Parent and dare get up late every day. Why can TV and hanging out and that they're really striving for our becoming independent if he were they can contribute. Q well out. The people that would about. What is a great tax people know me and it says if you were charging your daughter ran to stay at home. And she goes away to school but although and she couldn't pay could you would stick terror. You really should you know. And boy that just hits me right now and now hard because is no Lemony tick my own kid. So what I'm about rent what do you do about it they don't hate you rants. Rather read about rules in case they wanna bring you know early on Tom out of twelve year old teary all grown all they want to bring. May be a lady or man name written notes you'll. Still o'clock in the morning Ellison you don't know who's in your house. Yeah that gap he you know hit the thing. As a there is in my work with clients. Little over twenty years. One of the things that issue and that by I get it I get that parent myself and it would he really really hard as a parent. To let your bird fly telling their idol critique and opinion with the great help. And a great job you you really yearn. To protect them. Please note that those challenges that the young adult feed it to find their way. We've forgotten that a lot the tee and it would feel that we have to protect them from. Those challenges it's important to be deported. But not creating new lines so if you have the opinion on the about the you can't hate addiction. Create wind them. What an appropriate plan should be okay if that's how much money came up empty and train them how do you create a budget how much money making what you. Spending it on how much it costs for rent how much can you pay. Help them learn these the white guilt because they odd life skills they're going to need it for a lifetime awaited meeting which you with living with roommates. On and that is. Better than you did with several other people young adults and all contributing. Com. That ideal. Age but if they are still living and you decide that app the fact that for your family. Of them at a record carry it back at it for your family. I'd be really believed that and why you do need to set up some ground rule that we can learn these handles these tool. So that aren't actually that and that's not the thirty year old forty or fifty year old still living in your house. And that brings me to again. In you get up at night go to the bathroom you pass somebody. An adult the T thirty. Coming out of best there when you're going in and like hi doing oh you what why you hear and it somebody that your daughter or son brought home. Yeah you know that's the thing that and that that that piece of the puzzle of why is it appropriate. Pretty young adult no longer can be living at it should not eat that you'll are taking a cab or having to see this. At the parent and it should not be that you young adult is having to. Consider. What their parents in the equation in there. Once you've gotten the point where you're having you know come into your home when she got the either. Why ample other means and why it is time paramour. Moved out. This doesn't just started 21 ride in and that's an immune from this you. Yea a mother dumb ending in an animal tiger doesn't teacher hurt cubs is our content when their full grown. Tiger she doesn't when their cubs are that they are prepared. To go out on their own Greg. You know it never accurately it used to teach. Any time ET trying to think the people laugh and yet you're teaching a lot of living concepts. On your own words and your actions were they observe it there in traction we EU and keep them. We're there observations of your contractual without their learning from you. Front end and the they did you opt providing them more and more opportunity. For independent. Opportunities. In order for it and it feel like baking experience life on the one step at a time. Doctor appreciate your time man as always acting Karen Ruskin a friend psychotherapists marriage and family therapists author of nine techniques. For raising respectful and responsible children it is DR KE a RTN. Our USK I N dot com correct. Emily do this amity text and an incident teach him in at TH annual ride around in a boat LD drinking beer. Well. Act down. Acts that at the right if that's what happened but that is unfortunately what happened at them pipa but not for. In the nation is that they get a great day 930 time now take you calls. When we come in and went come back rather noting here for a meal. Gimme some success stories of your millennial child. Who is out making it on their own this text comes in and says my daughters in college and decided to work in Montana for the summer. She's out on her own and learning to be self supportive she's nineteen Bravo for that. Noses Tommy what about the live in boyfriend how do you handle that. I you know. Ed be tough for me I got today now you want meat upbeat and hollows. Mister Dodd know what he wants to do yet. I don't think so. Other do you have a cat living in my house now with a 931 time now Devin WL offers news that we're gonna David Lee would you do with your kids yen com. You get twelve of them by about it. Women yeah yeah because this guy moves right around the country diamonds around radio. Is screaming Jay Hawkins you remember him. It's a jockey. You know Halloween song called I put a spell on you. I do remember the saw Elena guy died. They found out he had like 400 kids all over the world. I. Which explains why he was screaming I guess. I believe that your kids users is on the road in terms of movement out. Our whole world my daughter I headed off on her own at a fairly young age you after college north. Yeah she did a couple of years of college of bailed out. And became a manager for Macy's and she is then. With them now for like twenty years is not how he moved away up the latter ya she's way up the ladder and realism Molly. Not a lot setup. Yeah you don't see her often but I presume she's happy he's she's very up CNN's the other thing I think part of being happy is having the bride. And dignity and self worth and know that you accomplish this so I don't think. Yeah. Here we go open scale war. If she was. Living in Mali which would be tough. On government assistance that you would be as happy for her because you know there'd be. No satisfaction in what she did. Well and she'd be on the phone begging for money aside enough and that's kind of goes with the territory mail and it. Where's the money Dan must've fallen in the ocean on dry again and I go to calls and I got to tell you that's a nice thing not to is sending it by carrier pigeon. And a at that Jack Leo mine is you know gone out of town and college and she's already saying after it has to be New York maybe ruin Yan that. Kind of freaked me out. Well yeah I nine never known in the million years she did the California saying she should she always considers New Orleans to be. About half of life. But I never thought she'd go that far away ever. I guess I gotta eat his cells and a little piece of time because I've. I'm still dealing with out of town for college I can't even temperate and yes he's a mistake not to target new York new York and she's not close in the state either Ronald Metairie good morning things are being so patient and for a whole thing. We'll get shut ebitda fact how should our catcher. That we can now there. Are certain he would. End it will now. I'm out attacking and you know. Note mourn each year is using. You know on. Its early. It. Coral maturity. It. Like. You. And somebody. That you know. That. You. Okay now you're here. Eight okay sweet little kid now. Not on the owners. Are all. And that. They welcomed. At. They should go. You cheer age. You all well and have. And thanks well. To me. Where are. You or. Your. Or. Money that there. Think. Each cute. You. Are or. Or. Eel. And a lot. To. They. Go away for a date. OK. There. That they. Do it at all. It yeah. And street there will ever lived all right. Rondo will would be easier for you to accept. And on an Olympian kids mechanic did you got in terms of when girls. You know. What would be all for unity except. Your boy you bring in somebody moment on Lohse Yankee in or year girl bring in somebody home and do insane. Okay. Robert I'll meet you out. At stake coming. In which they hate error and a pain. Think you get Mary. In your debt so rep is you know when I hadn't heard yet. I'll worry about it and the whole emotional. And it still ago and it. Didn't. Ryan I hear or read my mind gets it at some point. It seems as though the balance of power had shifted. And parents are so afraid. That they kids getting in man Adam so afraid that they get is gonna go load. And become a drug addict addict and I'll never see him again go so concerned god forbid. That the child is gonna go out and do harm to themselves did you show that married. That sometimes I think it's almost like and I hate to say this is mellow dramatic and almost like an emotional hostage situation is owed you trying to say. And human. And yet you've. Been. In and am old they are. Call it. You. When you eat it. But then it wouldn't actually. Prior. That they would do it into crime on right. And crime. In the you know seeing. A a game. We. It's very. The struggle. It's not perfect we did it by an agent on races. That. That's why. They cut. It here pretty tickled me I am. Children yet he. Is well. You walk out the right to me. Which you can. There and so in that room there and we're thinking. And a mega machines didn't work Ronald I am enjoyed everything you said we gotta go be called back and thank you for listening. Great day 96 187 do you agree or disagree with what Ronald said. And in some ways have children Kynan. Taking a holding parents hostage in use of grade zones and man when you've given that things you normally wouldn't. This by the way things field and stream and Jay Hawkins whom after he died. Under the he has tons of children in the world will be back over the you know when I make a mistake and again nights I spend more times cleaning things up here in the and then give it. Pardon me the maids but I'll I'll clean it up enough today. I said that screaming Jay Hawkins had four to 500 children. It was only 57 to 75. If you count them up now on and on the discrepancy. Was it their trans transition of numbers I don't know are they still doing DNA testing I don't know. But I know this he wasn't a terribly successful entertainer. And unlike prints a few. Yes 5775. People clamoring for a piece of that is stated I think isn't really when he AT&T checks. One for 12123. Cents one from fifteen. John new Rawlins I think it would. You're under the W well. We. In that wonderful new John. Very. With Ronald absolutely and I get a text that says he should call back and it totally agree he should. I know who would develop and bring a generation people. War you know he had yet generation. To give it to the World War II was the generation. In any. People. In the generation action in Italy. And we every generation. With little compared to the war. A party of family. I had responsibility to it by gambling in our next generation. Among Indians. In the next generation of shell that they themselves. But etiquette and expect it to Egypt and. And we will have a little bit. The only. How did wanna lose and how we lose. I think we look to true true generations of people make money. We've got an equitable money giddy indicate that a birdie eagle. Eagle out shall not doing anything. You know Kmart might. You don't have to choose him in the column a you'll. In a peculiar rule issued the call. In on would be. Normal things. How shall. They get any extra in the Arctic. You know we were all okay well what did you look. Well you do in that report a lot of people to help it. Not hurt them build their own legal action. At the comparable generation of getting round the make it to the degree to expect somebody out is what well. I Miss America and address and running and allowances like newly cut the grass needs be done. Do you think. Parents failed to sit down with their kids. And say look this callous treatment is on the don't do my daughter and I'm talking about this from the time choose like six. Saying look we want to flabby make crappy days and we had to hamburgers three Ian. You know prizes managed it would handy but it just came to 69 dollars and I don't worry about it we get the money. But you assume you know as you grow La. Nothing is free. And you gonna have to put yourself in the position where you can make this money if you want to enjoy things like that naturally the the explanation expanded this year and older and was more able to. To follow and I was saying it. Actually in the in I'd be sure. You know so don't might might total of one particular. I'd whip you do certain dollar and look at it afterward I'll keep you can get our money all patched yet. Can you want to use your it is achievable level all patchy but you have to get low level was to get people. In any. Respect what you also get. John Breaux let me take Brooklyn is ago I was raise on a war and as a result when he came new goals and and what I want to do what I want now publishers like it's the next week you know on insane and I think. Because I was beaten down because I have any money for insurance and of this in him that. And it sometimes it makes you use when they give throw your hands and I have empathy. For people that have been on until for a long time and have legitimately. Tried to Feinberg and eventually it's like you know what I'm done again anything but I think what you use is the ideal way to deal about it. And that is to give them in my hand match whenever they may. So you'd teach them if you work you can achieve these things and that's the way you help them don't give it to thank you John. Lady called emigrate dates army Tucker come and backed. You know slash under the W. 956 tummy tuck again and make way for Garland quickly the military's been holding on and talk about the death penalty game ahead Terry. Are all are yet that's why Obama didn't look so enamored with herb Albert because everything. It goes back so to when it will meet you. You accused Carlin not know Lou everybody took Asian broke the bone grew up in any. And that meant how did it in our I'm are undeclared even there. And then you look at these ordinarily. Mean art or oh but app on the payroll. Eminently well you know because. Somewhat ought to get you very that your health care. Lock out here and did you know and revealed there at 30. One and we can you replace it. Ought. You know. They expert panel Billy cannon did it could work our. So it yoga. And and you wonder GP he. The weapon but yet I'm. I know it's hot in aim in Angola is in some lawsuits about that it dumb it what do you think about this Mullen cells and you live in under a parents' roof inn and parents boiling them. And how to delegate started is it because The Who wasn't an eventual thing where or one generation Geddes zero on the other goodies you running other. Format war that our own aren't they on seventeen home from Tennessee. Do you want me. And can start your irons. You went out or seventeen what an opponent don't send yeah it. Always Napa and spent a month ago or something. Well I'll I walk in game. It's all a lot you know it is partly due in many things I want and it ought technical error till you know everybody gives you participation trophy you. You got to got to Terri had to cut you off who routed time. Lives in conversations this morning I'm glad you all called Garland Robinette is coming up next is he does in the thing tank. And money team Thursday from ten until one today is to talk about alternative energy. And is it tying. For alternative energy to provide the world's needs. Though would replacing fossil fuels require reducing our lifestyles. Plus six out of ten Americans dislike or hate trump and Clinton. Could you possibly vote libertarian if that's true and are we witnessing the demise of the two party system. From the inside me may scene is immediately goodwill visit physical therapist where unit doctor that is. Louisiana legislature gives its approval like coming up with Garland thank you so much. For listening this morning calling and texting and have a great Tuesday. It would talked him mourning its.