WWL>Topics>>2-14 9am Tommy, if you're married, how long have you been together?

2-14 9am Tommy, if you're married, how long have you been together?

Feb 14, 2017|

Tommy talks to Andrea Syrtash, a relationship expert and author of "Cheat On Your Husband (with Your Husband)," about tips for a successful relationship.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

On talk about low. And relationships. Of one that got away well and I think that's a good question did you. And I hope you're comfortable enough to call in Hillary if not you can use text candidates 7870. But did you make the right decision. Or did the right one get away. I think was Holland notes money at a song along time ago it's Santa belong to someone else on the right one comes along the AS indeed and you know. I've done some people over the years that they never got over without Frank Sinatra and Ava Gardner ago twenty years saying right as captain and all right Franchitti. Aria Sinatra and Ava Gardner. Pretty jet where opinion poll you Valentine's Day lover or hater 49% say love 51% say hate. So I didn't think it was going to be that close around him continually pine for someone like for 2030 years he did Frank Sinatra never Gallinari I would Gardiner and even when she was old and not. Do into well even though she. You know I mean news man they're both foreground but. He took camper on the long. Texans any normal life for twenty years not a huge fan of Valentine's Day don't need a commercial holiday did Tellme unloved. And don't need the price tag I cut a nice dinner open a bottle line barbecue shrimp processor so pastor pastor with crab cakes and I sounds good and it does work. From not a tax guns and when he thing companies getting pollutants from valence. Come on Valentine's Day maybe a program side may be a photo session with a course I don't know. Andrea essar tesh joins us right now she is a relationship expert and author of cheat on your husband. With your husband. You got to remember the second part of that good morning Andrea Martin cowering in happy Valentine's Day. Have developed it and well thank you yet think fervently in the whole title it's gotten in trouble when I've been a tradition that the first part. Again imagine. That a lot of hissing and booing from the Mary Easley. Tell me how what does that mean cheat on your husband and I would presume he could go the other way into your new life with your wife. Absolutely. It just means you know part of the work of relationships that keep in the plane alive. I think and we forget to court our partners that we have to keep perceiving them that we need to keep Victoria in excitement alive. The novelty is a very important part of that and nobody feels like that when you're settled in to view. There engineered very busy and your lives and it take ovaries forget to do well at each other so I'm a fan and you know I think marriages it's as if to make everyday. And I wrote the book he knew that encourage people to keep keep putting it together. Are you a married lady I am an area they yes well you married. I'm approaching a decade would fade ninety at actually read a book club he's just not your type that the skeptics that any would not like us and let him like I. Well there's a saying that opposites attract. And I think that's for the first marriage. That just like theory. And then for the second when you choose somebody that's loaded more like Q is there any data on that any any researchers say just my own messed up philosophy. We have not. Earlier relationships. And knew we made different choices later by I would expect her bill once it learned then and never looked. Buy it actually I think opposites attract is people look at opposite. He's been very few professional. And public. If your values line you're not quite opposite so I think as we get older and relationships as we involved. We line in not just and romantic relationships and friendships with people who reflector valleys that are. The and is there for a long time and I've been divorced for a couple years now in and having time to reflect you know sitting in the house with no furniture. Oh yeah and just the dog but I have had time to reflect and I can look back conceal lot of mistakes that I made but. That's in retrospect that's not in real time so. Heidi he'd he'd. The mistakes to a minimum how do you keep from mess and now. Who when you're actually in it and I guess they are yet nick news deals and and communications skills and and trying to shield interest in the of the persons for. Absolutely and mean Kenyan aunt went communication breakdown related type of break ups and that's definitely important. And there is kind of one key thing that people at state Jones remembers nothing else from what I paid holidays take heed that and apparently it's their release will be better. Which is acknowledgment. Eighty people wanna be seen heard values that that it works in your work relationships in your friendship tenure love relationships and acknowledgment goes so far. And number one I've done a lot of research time and infidelity. As well people men and to complain that they weren't getting enough approval at home and women tend to complain that weren't getting enough attention. That both through it you know both of those things point to acknowledgment. We we need to do. That reinforce our appreciation for each other and we forget to do that we put it together for granted the longer we've been together X. I think part of that is did to go through. What it takes to for example of somebody once to come home and tell you about. Their day in and that might be something that you structural wall rehash it gives you feel as though. You know we did and it's over I don't know relive it again but that's very important at them so I guess shift to fall back on the fact. That you love them to give yourself the patience to sit there and. Is. Listening is really important thing. A little late to get this dynasty that. As a party years. DP deter it is like it when it comes to do you know that's a partnership you're meeting in the middle. You're hearing each other years attempting to each other's needs and wants as much as tanning need to communicate that. You can't expect to partner intensity until one that's a big mistake people make. But I I might generally world is if that really matters to what you can matters. So you know it is happening is at high value to your partner. In matters. Yeah that would go to break at the willow but I'm just thinking about erode romantic and a non romantic and romantic. Did you know does the whole thing with. Flowers and and moderate and I ended her planned and all that stuff. And it's just been me in the dog entry for a couple of years forgive me right romance any. Our opponent is did her romance say I want a telling. You in your diet. Let me tell ya plans are gonna take a ride in the car. And in the park with the dog park that's the plan so. Sarah renting regions. I was just gonna say that people forget you know when we're literally exchange Valentine's. Enter with their classmates. It's just about celebrating relationships not just romantic relationships though. For those people who were dictating policy rate now they're saying. You know it's do you miss him so happy and it gimmick commitment. It nothing in the world is more important than your relationships so if you do nothing else they'd been reaching out to outline that you've been. And it can be president can be French it don't matter who it is and just there and thinking about you had this view. I love you proposal on the way to. Keeping again it acknowledgment. Can't stand. Reminding them on the matter to you can't believe how many people and injured you know over the years. The deal TV things in other either you know they think that the things went about their deathbed. Or it was definitely and they and it would say hold this personal acquisition meant to me do it now. In heaven though you'd never ever ever now. Meeting new people today and good day for matter you'd precondition if you're single or. A fallen in love and maybe everybody's gonna be mr. ms. perfect in India judging them objectively. I think apparently content to meet new people but yet you don't want you know with about a couple in the you know what ignited a French restaurant demonstrate that has complete expert Valentine's Day. But if he'd go to view. Your local wine buyer whatever. You'll do a lot of people out there are just for science and enjoyed and I mean. I was told I only little people try to be your vacations off when you're going out to meet people because I became senior night. Over analyzing things here in the moment he take risks you talk to people. You don't analyze where it's gonna go to more power we can speak next week or just present. And that's the energy wanna bring when you're when you're meeting new people. Ask you one question before election Gillen that is this. When young people now tell me you know nineteen year old when he girls are getting married guys say look. Don't look at it is the rest of your life because that's unicorn in rainbows and puppy dogs and hearts float in the year. And you can get a real feel for that look at it is twenty years. So you're you're Tony now you're going to be forty. And this is going to be the only person you'll be whipped or. A date or anything like that and then when you get to forty yet another forty years on that stretch so. Our addictions that but is that. Is is due to some people not quite real lines of what. Especially if they're younger what a commitment marriages in terms of you know the rest your life. Yeah I mean I'd definitely I think we've we've seen in these issues that's like the bachelor and approach vary Payton to romance and you know that following Atlanta's super size and I get that being on as a different kind of commitment. In the tech work though it is good news. You know I I. I love lives I like what people are happy you that's that's great idea it's done. It's very different beads falling in line that we we are bringing actually metal into the different date equipment for numbered years called attachment. And that's what we have to work a little harder to keep that spark alive when you. That being said I was gonna ask you you can't I mean it's not realistic to think when you first meet somebody it is puppy dogs and rainbows and it's fresh in new and everything they say is so funny and so witty and so charming and maybe a couple of years later those of the things a drive yup the street and mall. I think what attracts you were penalties so the key thing I love he's as spontaneous later. Feel that you never make plans particularly. Need outlets but it's you know it's. It definitely things going and actually statistically if you get married Kia and you have a harder time making it work one term. So there is you know having some light experience before you are in it together for the line now is is that is to get that. The fact that they unpopular can't work. Yet if you had to say or pick put an optimum age just in your opinion. Of and it's time to get married and have a serious relationship will will would you say. I paid you know authority on it doesn't mean you can make it work at 27. And think man. At that time when you've maybe. Lifted that in your life had an adult and he's been around tighter every presumably. And then your your coming into the relationship. Happy. Quote unquote complete person you know that's going to complement not complete. That's the number I had mine thirty do you think people should be of the same age. Or is there an age differential that works better between men and women either way. Statistically the age difference between. Long term couples tend to be one it is three years. Difference but it's it's there's no number on it I think it really depends where you are in your life. And how what you learned. From your past relationships that's what really matters. Should that other person seem infallible to you if you really are fallen in love or if you're noticing things early on. That r.s I said earlier driving up a wall is that a warning that this is not your person or does that mean you just have to be a little patient and nobody's perfect. Well nobody is perfect they eat you need to listen injured guys if you see red flag. You have to listen to instincts because. People do get clues theories vary currently. Weapons small step noted that small staff and other people you've you've probably heard people beaters noticed. He treats voters he treats the waiter there's no reason for that propelled it. Campaign. We tend to Wear gloves goggles while we're following a lot we don't see we don't believe that the things that can be problematic. And other one of my my big is done. If you paid cash to remembers to keep the person not the potential. So. He's in front of you look at his insanity that he won champions. That is a great way to end this interview good date the person not the little guy that attacks. Are they a person not appropriate and it's been very enjoyable injury your book is. How do too late cheat on your husband with your husband right Jack uniter what and you can edit. Amazon and all the usual run outs. Yet it's my partner all you can search for a incitement but the dynamic on another outlet. I'd include Dillard's Andrea answered anxious one yard. Yet T yeah. Are. The only horse do you will be at thank you so much emigrate mellow day. Thank you phone lines are open it's 601878. From. What's trick to having a long relationship along happy relationship. Tell me what you did to your significant other on Valentine's Day do you believe hitter do you think it's just a crock. And a money Megan scammer gimmick or what have you and from. Did you make the right choice. Or did the right one get away because they get to zone somebody text and who knows how many text Meehan says it was. England Dan and John Ford Coley that did this song it's said to belong to someone else on the right one comes along. But and Garth Brooks at a song it's at one of God's greatest gifts. Are unanswered prayers when the when he thought was right one really wants.