WWL>Topics>>Think Tank 1210pm Daniel Post Senning, Can bad manners impact you

Think Tank 1210pm Daniel Post Senning, Can bad manners impact you

Feb 17, 2017|

Can bad manners impact you, your business, employee morale & your bottom line? A recent AP/Ipsos poll says 69% say people are ruder today than a generation ago. This hours guest: Daniel Post Senning - Great Great grandson of Emily Post and co-author of Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th edition

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

And good afternoon welcome in to the Friday think tank glad to have you with us and as always if it like to participate in the program calls Bible for. 260187. He would also have a text message boarded. You know attacks will come in instantly to the studio. We get so many of the men we can't read all of them and share with the audience that those that we select we do and it's an 87870. And we always have a pretty opinion poll question non pertaining to our topic of the day that'll be coming up shortly you'll find that on WWL dot com website. This so we're gonna talk about bad manners. On you know there was a hole that was recently out that says 69%. Of people or routed today but just a generation ago. I'm not only impacting society but non actually affecting negatively multimillion dollar deals are business dealings. And other. Forms of our communication wealth to join us to talk about this is the great great grandson of Emily Post. And also the coauthor of Emily Post edit it. Eighteenth addition Daniel told sending Daniel thanks have taken time to be Wednesday. I'm if you would maybe for folks not familiar with you great great grandmother Emily and her success so Elizabeth pulls a little bit of background. Sure well I've I've worked for Emily Post Institute carrying on the tradition that was started by my great great grandmother Emily Post. She wrote the first book of etiquette in 1920 Q so were were approach and a hundred year anniversary of the printing up the first addition pathetic at the nineteen people be out this. This spring. It's some deterred the bone of what we do the publishing that book of etiquette but over the years. Founder and all kinds of things associated with a dedicated that it that it comes into and out of the public consciousness and the institute Israel lead. Been founded the that was founded by apple in her son Ned to promote etiquette instability in America and we've been carrying on that tradition now per. For generations. Etiquette is one of those words that most of us think we know what that means that it's hard to describe what is the best description of what etiquette really. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk a little bit about that because it heated it to trick the concept often and a lot of people. Really positive. Association took the word addicted people think about an important first term mentoring mayor elect whether it's apparent mother father and a businessman tour. But people also released on negative connotation with the word bill. Conjures up being rapped on the apple would rulers are people being forced to walk the Bull Connor and things like this and I I like to say that we have very simple definition of dedicated Emily Post Institute we talk about it being a combination of manners and principles and the manners are. The particular expectations we have each other and a different social situation in the principles are. Time and trouble on that the concern about. Anywhere we go and and over overtime as the particular membership to change in those those guiding principles or consideration respect and honesty and it really served us well. For generations. Well etiquette and lifestyles a much much different. Now than they wore an atomic use great great grandmother back in 1972. Manners in enacted in principles really changed that much O line have they really kind of stayed the same in just a periphery governor's change our perception. No it's it's like I love that that that opening question what is etiquette that's why I love that the definition that includes both the manner and the principles because they're both really important. And the manners are those particular expectations how do you Alter for what is the order an introduction. Outpost changed my great great grandmother was really concerned about the proper protocol for changing a calling card and I don't think that's gonna concern many of our listeners today. That the statement today might be really important how you talked to a new business contact about connecting on social media value exchanged cell phone contact. So the particulars changed but those. Or principles that you need to be considerate of others that you need to be respectful of others to recognize the worth and value and that you need. Pull yourself the standards of honesty integrity and sincerity. Have every we laughed over generations and it's that combination of things those manner and the principals working in concert they're really neat glued ethnic. That's a lot of people say and I'll that was back in the dark ages what is that important to. Today by today's standards. You know right this is something that your all the time and it's it's like that principles framework is so important to let us answer that that. Critically important question of why why does that matter. It doesn't matter because I'd say so or because my great great grandmother sits in matters because those manners are expressions of those core principles so. The civil Rick so how you. Treated the woman in medieval Europe in nineteen in the fifteen hundreds what woods was really stop idea that you're traditional respect and you know. People that have different yeah action today short code today but the idea that everyone ought to be treated with respect its speed this thing. So why do the manners matter because they illustrate those core principles about these that illustrate that respect or consideration. Excellent job of actually you know explaining the common denominator when it comes to the purpose of manners in principle. If you stay with a gonna take a break wanna invite the list is going in to maybe tell me what Ngo at you if you have one when it comes to etiquette. Com on May be etiquette in business all protocols love to hear from you if you like to call us it's Bible for. 2601870. And not text message board which is a very important in common form of communication these days. 870870. But please do it now respectfully. And safely no texting and driving use a designated driver or designated techsters fuel and vehicle. 870870. That's the number will be right back. And I topic this hour is etiquette. Manners or lack there of one joining us to talk more about this is Daniel polls sending used to great great grandson of Emily Post do you might consider of the first lady of etiquette and manners she wrote in 1922. The book entitled etiquette in society in business in politics and home. Not only did she report on it she also lifted and the question is under those same. Principles and manners supply in today's society a society changed. Annals on the longer required. On Daniel I'm getting a lot of text questions in new world will address some of these and it's an anthem also later on wanna get into the business aspect of that is. That's extremely important. But this one says. Miles just a comment manners never go honest now. And the other one says mark that you just people who stare. Stare but is bad manners is. You know it can be. We our program took notice where the people around us are paying attention. And one of the ways that we know what each other paying attention to was where we're looking and oftentimes you mentioned business etiquette that is something I talk about on talking to business audiences but it's. Really important that you're in control of where you director retention as people will notice it and staring can be unsettling and really can't. I also caution now people both genders demand in particular to be careful about their duties and where it goes because people do notice sent. He really wanna be in control of that part of your appearance it's part of perfect present yourself and people people will notice what you are noticing. Sound advice there's one that. Probably didn't apply in use great grand great great grandmother's time that is certainly would apply now. This was says speaking of rude please touch on talking on speaker phone in public. What a fantastic question that this is a topic that it's come. Numerous times just in the last couple months actually I was asked to comment on this for an article for publication just for the holidays and looked at used to apply to using a speaker phone and business situations that most people are aware that you let someone know and there are being broadcast on a speakerphone. And that you pay attention to the environments that your in when he uses speakerphone were pretty well understood pretty well internalized the most people use that tool to business environment but. In today's world of cell phones more and more people are being asked to make the decision about when it's appropriate to use a speakerphone the same rules apply. You wanna think about not subjecting the people they whipped to a conversation that there are part of you don't want to be broadcasting a conversation that people are interested. But you also want to respect the privacy of the person who's talking the and you won't let them know. Who could potentially be hearing what it is they're saying in one of my favorite examples for a place to be careful around these types of new manners is in the car. And I really appreciated when you ask people to sent text that you also happened to be respectful and safe safety being one of the tenets of all the etiquette not to text while they're driving. A lot of people using. Hands free devices in the car and the temptation to use a speakerphone and a car is great in fact it's it's advisable that the mr. going to be using your mobile device in your car. Would someone called in your in a car with someone else their captive audience so you want to keep tackled short. You have to take it you wanna let the person who's calling you know who opens in the car is going to be hearing and so when I answer the call it that. I'm on I'm sure that would project a how big goal and that everyone knows everyone knows that on speakerphone and who's involved. Funny you mention the driving additive one of the Texas came menaces mod that he has to do was driving etiquette manners and etiquette have to do with consideration for others. People who drive low slowly in the left lane have no consideration for the vehicles and now. Who are they holding who they are holding up. I couldn't be more exact to my fair they have several reasons and PD example driving etiquette agree placed it was very important time. All good etiquette and that's that attitude as a incredibly powerful tool used as a tool for self assessment at a valuation and oftentimes it's optional much less useful to us that other people. So my example I live in rural Vermont I have a beautiful commute to work in the morning and some days I'm on my way. And I'm I'm I'm taking my time every bend in the road the picture postcard I just can't believe that I can't believe that. Person just driving right on the detail. By K okay right behind me. Is is in touch or think to myself what what what could possibly be the two Russians and other days I'm late for work app a lot of radio interview that I need to get to you and I can't believe so inconsiderate problem would be to be driving so slow it. I think that it's it's really down. An opportunity. To assess my old state of mind that I'd pausing to pull over the let people die. And I really being considered the people around me because sometimes attract too fast and sometimes attractive slow. And usually I'm in control myself. And the way I'm gonna react and respond so. I take those moments when frustration start to rise up in the to remind myself. The best thing I can do was take a deep breath control my own reactions and responses. And be better myself I find myself another situation. Daniel loved got a text that says my husband is recovering from cancer and the after effects of chemo and radiation. He can barely walked the only ways a 122 pounds. He still opens doors every door for me not because I can't but because he's a gentleman. Door opening. Is that the law lost formal Vatican and or is that still appropriate to. Absolutely not it is so appropriate that back to care for others back consideration for others that desire to take care. But the people around us and to make their life a little easier is. Hallmark of good etiquette and you're. Still questioner almost all the language that I would love to to use cancer I would just say what did you on. And this one says number one at these people who do not answer an art as VP for an invitation. We hear about this all the time. Did continuing importance of hours BP or responded people play. Which we request the pleasure that you'll respond and it is. Appropriate response to a invitations out any kind of how do you have to respond to an email invitation. Well with the amber horror. It is appropriate to respond. Not with a reply Ole everywhere on the list to reply in the ways it's appropriate for the medium that the invitations we sent them. So a quick no won't be attending. Will help people out you have to go is that. Situations and business etiquette one of the most difficult things for people and HR people organizing corporate events at company events. It's the question market the most difficult thing for any post management against what is. It's important that they guessed it they're gonna what kind of keep that commitment it's important thing no you're not gonna put and keep back commitment if you really don't know. You can always say I will get back to you as soon as I can't do want to get back to them in that timeframe. I tell people it's important to learn how to sing no well I know virtual break all over the world. But it's easier for host and manage and no one guest list and a question mark it will appreciated and they will serve. Daniel post Manning is our guest in if you would like to find out about his blogs his website more information you can find that on our web site. On garlands homework pages of linked they afford. Statistics payments is good TGI have nice show I feel today people may not be as polite. Good manners because of fast paced life some working to a more jobs salaries and not keep up living costs some stressed out less sleep good day and weekend. Is that a justification for poor man his lack of manic. You know I understand that sentiment and that I also don't don't like it when it's used as an excuse I think that. The test of all the etiquette is when we are courier when we are stressed ourselves it's easy to be graceful poised everywhere round that is being crystal and poised. The real bark of someone's. Glued me. Manners that's how they conduct themselves when there is that typical to your challenge we all make mistakes would all be confronted with rudeness our lives and oftentimes that rudeness as a result of total lack of aware. It's not intent and our ability to navigate that in navigated it will continuing twists in the best of others to continue to give others the credit. A good intentions and good will. Is really important it's important to our own mental sanity and safety in these Currie and stressed time. Daniel we've got a CBS news update coming in we're gonna take a short break but before we do that very interesting on a pretty opinion poll I have nemesis have been doing the scene. It end up a 100% one way sent the other capital or asking him manners and etiquette got worse or is it proper for the times a 100%. Say gotten worse nobody thinks that it's proper for the times. We'll continue this interesting conversation but first this CBS news update and could this be a first operating opinion poll is a 100% say that. Manners and etiquette have gotten work all just changed. Now actually it's gone the other way. 53%. Said that is actually proper for the times 47%. Say manners and etiquette have gotten more what say you. As a WWL dot com my cast your vote will also take a lot of text messages that they 7878. Please remember to text responsibly end Daniel poll standings on the line with a side he is the great great grandson of I'm very well the only when it comes to etiquette. And also manners that is Emily Post who was published and back them believe she did some radio broadcasting in in the early days of radio. And geo was succeeded by Elizabeth polls tomorrow remember reading some of her writings as late as in nineteen. Ninety's. Daniel I've got a lot of Texan I'm gonna get some of these specific pet peas and let you comment on them but I don't wanna before wrong that time I talk about business etiquette is is kind of one of your specialties and first I'd like to start off with this I have a a disagreement with a friend of mine who is in sales. And they say that when they go out now make up a pitch and or send them up polls soul or whatever and then they expect a phone they followed up with a phone call but the phone call never gets returned. And they they just go to pieces over that's it that's bad business bad reflection on them and I'm trying to tell this person that in today's world. That's just don't know you take dead is of no after repeated calling they failed to return your call tomorrow is zero. Oh I. We hate to be the arbiter. Of other people's behaviors that I tend to. Of all a little closer for if there were eagle here on your side of the equation you're all trying to manage a ball human contact and communication and today's business empire and it's an emerging courtesy to really think about oh not spamming other people are clogging other people's inbox with useless you know our information not over texting someone. Found and on that. I'm making demands of other people's time and attention and I think you can reach out to someone with a call but it it's not a scheduled call that they have that in spite of that call and promised a response. Then I think. Think that it's reasonable for them to at this stage you know I'm gonna groups that with the cold plot of sales calls to come in high enough volume at this point in time. But I really can't it's not reasonable for you think about responding to each of them individually. Daniel email. Cell phones for text Smartphones. That is a way of doing business now what items of principles on manners and etiquette and apply in social media in with it respectable business issues. Sure for instance my my favorite tip. For thinking about appropriate use of social media is to apply to traditional etiquette and this is one of those places where some of those. Manner from the past to release service that useful guidelines as we try to navigate some new territory and uncharted territory. There have been. Basic concepts for managing include conversations with discretion and packed been around since my great great grandmother's day. I would that they could have good conversations I think three key years they're safe territory small talk territory the weather sports. Local celebrities and media shared experiences what you did that morning what's being served for lunch that day. That middle here is potentially controversial we used to call it and TP. When I was growing up in my house not able talking I was religion. Politics dating carrier wildlife and then there was. Your three which is the most intimate territory that you really want to be careful about the kind of place. That you talk about these things that you don't want to. Ask probing questions about someone authority opened the door for these conversations in the demonic for your stories out bass family and fine. You don't ask someone if they're pregnant you doll inquire about somewhat financial situation unless. You know them well bladed that conversation. These pipelines for conversation. Work really well when you're trying to hold yourself accountable on the social media space which is an interactive medium. The comedian I'd like to think of its all lower urgent public conversations so. You're probably pretty safe secure wan security need to take more care where I really strongly advise people to avoid peer three. When they're thinking about the professional image on. Club before we move off of the business etiquette and take this break if you would give us information on where people confined. More explanation offs of about business ethic is on the guys extremely important a lot of people in the dark about and it can be very very profitable form the fine now. I couldn't agree more. Anyone can find out more about table posted in our current work that normally goes dot com I also really like to recommend my cousin Lizzie post and I. Big saints stand furthers that you out there that like spoke talks. The podcast to weekly podcast that we host club off some etiquette where to question and answer format shall we talk about all the things we've been talking about it. Very good you find a lot of this information if you driving by going to our website on garlands homework aged. There are links there I got a couple of back to back text from different parts of the listening area that basically saying the same thing I've got Stephen is a salesperson and Rachel. Once a comment on matters all that coming back right now if that is. And we are thinking about in talking about etiquette which has been described as manners and principles or lack there of McDaniel pulls innings been kind enough to Jones to talk about this and salesperson Steven not to announced they would me also ms. manners Rachel in Slidell wanna get to you calls that Daniel wanna bring these two text that came in back to back I can't pass this up but the first wood says I am a 52 year old woman and I cannot handle rude man. The other day a man almost at knock on a store parking lot he was on his cell phone has slammed on my breaks any flipped me off and curse me. His fault my response what a gentleman. I am still amazed at his rudeness and right on top of that comes Don. Shivery never goes out of date I use it every day for person of personal business. And you are not going to believe how many women do respond to it thanks that's from Richard listening to us in Mount Hermon now obviously the 52 year old woman. Did not encounter rigid from Mount Hermon as someone else. Chivalry is just one of those words it's going to be removed from the that Webster dictionary. I I certainly hope not. Suspected that the concept that I load because of the lead illustrates the need to continuing importance of good etiquette that. That also serves as a reminder of the historical antecedents of a lot of demand for that are so important to us today a lot of to bring to the manner that we think of as traditional manner. Came out of the transition from the Middle Ages to. Two or more contemporary or modern Europe and a lot of those manager at the table manners that a lot about corrupt with some of the matter the change the most slowly over time there are some manners that. It seemed to change generational almost every twenty years there's ground communication we've been talking today about texting and cell phones and social media. And those are all new manners that. That we were the part about how awful nice and four I would be giving direction theories similar to the direction I agree great grandmother gave her first book in 1922 and chivalry is one of those contests that you'd be mutual respect and once upon a time. It was a particular code that was real weed design. Show respect to win meant to at the time were a group of people want society we're not respected who did not have. How much authority or power many social circumstances and situations and sociable Rezko was really designed to address and change. And I think it's really important to remember that to remember the origins de facto would. But it wasn't meant to single out isolate anyone who wasn't meant to dis empower anyone tactic exactly the opposite was true. And I think that back on the power that you can hurt as jewelry is. It's such a fundamental concept that did and we beat McCain that we do I see that desire in today's world and that comes out in different ways that it's it's in many ways the same thing. I don't think that etiquette have to be gender necessarily I think that it's about people showing respect of people. And and I think that that always Beecher. Well you know I'm a firm believer in chivalry. Was I grew up that way I'll learn that way but I have found and I'm sure a lot of minerals say the same thing. Since the emergence of women's independents that are you afraid that you might get I don't need you to do that for me and you don't. Hesitant about what is a consensus from men and women do they still believe that it. It is a good during the practice today Ellison's women and not being odd dis respected anymore that maybe it's something that has gone bar. I understand that that number reasonable confusion. But because there are some sometimes that's a traditional etiquette that has changed over the last couple generations but it optical need to abandon them at all. I like that help people that it does traditional courtesy the traditional gender courtesies really matter to you. You just belt and pulled them on other people it it's very simple answer you just ask men I get that pre. Thank you so much you know it's been twenty years with a comfortable chair for me I don't think you want or cable myself I've got that. You don't impose the courtesy you laughed and I get that for you and with the battery simple addition to that traditional courtesy should be in good shape no matter who the audience. On day out thing of the past are more important than ever nowadays will be right. And in keeping with this hour's topic etiquette I want to thank all of you sent those many many text in month down knocked him to be able to get to him today but will have to lose again real soon annual all oppose sending is our guest and Dan Allen do wanna get the Stevens called before we wrap up let's go to Stephen. On the salesperson Stephen go ahead your own Daniel holes sending. A critical that is the topic did it hit me com. I'll be quick it would north York city earlier or. You know etiquette in. People not returning calls it just waste our. There's no excuse I mean whatsoever got mine yeah cell phone you can text and email. It is serious if these poor. These poor professionalism or lack of export etiquette. An and I towards him by. You the other thing is. You hear that conversation with someone selling since situation and you actually had a discussion. Be it email text phone. And people will return your call that is not necessarily know again change them or not. Being able. It's not too to tell you know that would be really mean there's been wasted their time in the weeks and you don't like trying. And in and some who like big. Have been following up with people well in excess of six marks because they're rocks and they don't return a call or email. Indian and I was able to bring you couldn't say it means war. Then the listing. Is due to the mean people that have always feel completely on that original. I that's called die. Edit get a hypocrisy doubly good what that's called Stephen we got a and the death thank you so much Daniel really enjoyed this. A wanna get you back on again because as so many aspects of etiquette manners that we really need to talk about thanks again for being with us. Give us set up a dress of people wanna access issue website. At. All. Very good thanks again Daniel have a great weekend caretaker. I'd that is gonna wrap it up for me I will be back in exactly sixteen hours and those of you wanting me to do fishing report you'll get your fill on the mall morning NASA we do from five to seven and and again from seven to nine. 0105 FM HD two will be right back after.