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WWL>Topics>>11-7 7:15am Tommy, divorce & staying together for the kids

11-7 7:15am Tommy, divorce & staying together for the kids

Nov 7, 2013|

Tommy talks to Dr. Martin Drell, the Head of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at LSU Health Sciences Center

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

So a new story study is out saying one in four. Married couples stayed together for the kids. And we're asking you from your experiences what you've seen with friends maybe from your parents may be with you. Is that a good idea and can kids be happy if you aren't. And I get a text that comes in boy talk about a tough family dynamic here. I don't think stand together with the kids works old though I tried. Have three kids in there and caught my wife having an affair with my brother. I forgave her and our relationship got worse and get this she did it again. So I don't know Heidi get together for Thanksgiving dinner when. Though your wife is an affair with your brother. -- -- quickly before we get to doctor Marten -- on your mind. Corn -- it say that aren't. Shall like. An extent that it really have got. Other. On our -- All that doesn't charge and act. Art. You know he helpfully dying limit perhaps they girl is a optional and that let a couple. More when it and a lot of people they got what they hit. And I think that on a book deal by. Some -- call each other. Sell it are not little -- that I'm sure I'll. -- I get to -- and it's not Martin's throw professor and head of child and adolescent psychiatry -- you Al. Sciences -- morning doctor Roy -- Thanks -- the time -- -- you know this just anecdotal but it hurt a -- Adults -- man I wish my parents they've gotten divorced easily use night. And it's the adults from marriages where the parents did get divorced and it seems as though generally speaking. And it just anecdotal that. Although complaining that children were the parents didn't get divorce not argument series disputes just fighting. They seem to be doing better any statistics on. I think the the statistic guy use is that. Open conflict. In the family is really very bad for tips. And I differentiate between cold marriages. In hot marriages so hot marriages in which there's a lot of expressed emotion and conflict. And that seems to be really bad for tips. I think there's no one answer to this and that every. Tolstoy says that every epic family is -- in the same way and every unhappy family is unhappy. In different ways I think this is a decision to be made by each. Couple in each family and but there are some guy to do that and the one that I think bleached out to me is the -- of conflicts. And how hurtful it is two kids. But no marriage is perfect whenever you put two people together and cage just getting. Hewitt what you think there's going to be some dispute so -- in Delano Roman knowledge to kids in cars that not giving them an accurate picture of reality. I think in some ways. If it's going to be a dispute in which -- opinions -- -- And things like that probably the kitchen and Syria. Blood I think the premise here is that is correct that relationships. Are difficult. Is has been in the -- come from different families with different ways of doing things in different. You know issues about communications. Intimacy. Rolls rolls history and things like that. And I think a way to do it just slipped it over. Probably healthier family. Can't have disputes and undo the root disputes and showing your kids. That you could have an argument and differences of opinion. And work them out -- probably a valuable tool for the future. I guess old dynamic as ever we get a break here for traffic they'll come back but. Some families can just argue and fight and then they love each other a couple of minutes later and it's a different family were to say or do the same thing they never speak to each other again. Yeah I think of family they're very different in the way they camp thinks. I won't come back we'll talk about them some ways to resolve that conflict and how he would decide whether it's. It's over because that's a huge decision in terms of what happens legally with the kids as the colors images now you can see him half the time if and that's the best possible case 723. Time related traffic that was. Tommy Tucker just couple of minutes left -- doctor -- drought but the LSU Health Sciences Center talking about staying together for the kids that. Article this study that said one in four couples do that. Also some stories we'll tell you about later about fighting during holidays and best way to end an argument of what went. Is the happier outcome when it comes arguments -- Doctor weren't winning constant is deciding whether to stay together for the kids the F factor in custody. And -- can't get divorced right now because my first duty is to them I'm presuming there's no abuse idea. How do you balance between your needs in the kids' needs. I think the what I would say is decisions. Are important and they have consequences. The decision to get married is important as consequences in the that the decision to get divorce has consequences to. And people should think about consequences just what you sent what are your priorities. If you priority is raising the kids and having the kids being in the -- big priority if your. Priority is to you know be away from the person -- causing you -- That's priority I think a lot of people make the decisions. Without -- thinking through the consequences. Think he -- the wide consequences especially financially. He hasn't issues about the kids in the custody in a lot of times the consequences. Are hard to predict. Although there's a huge literature about that and you can do that but the decision it's a very difficult decision and very often people don't make it. Seriously. And that make it when they're angry and hurt and -- And then the count went to come -- them very often they regret. Their decision gets like severing a legal partnership a lot of people don't realize that but it's as though you were in business with somebody else and all of a sudden. You're breaking it up thank you doctor appreciate your time thank you.

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