And it -- this New Year's resolutions doctor -- be done molest ski joins us right now who is. An associate professor of psychology at Kutztown University of Pennsylvania also a psychotherapist. Author and contributor. To psychology today morning dot. Good morning and thanks for coming on happy new year and and I guess first off when people your Pennsylvania I guess as to how closes at the Philadelphia. -- The -- that the commitment. And ADP give -- out and how closely follow the weather forecast you know what it's supposed to be like on Saturday. They say it's gonna get I'm actually pop up from Baltimore will actually located -- -- -- -- -- practiced that gonna get bad thing. -- Let's talk about New Year's resolutions I know you're a life coach -- -- -- Yeah I think is an Atlanta I am at a nice lady Georgette while -- saw her I knew before -- a a registered nurse longtime register registered nurse and serves as a life coach. Four if for some of the younger nurses and I can't tell you some of the things she was saying and made a lot of sense just in terms of time management. Organization it satirist so when it comes of the new year a lot of people. -- a -- time better wanna get organized wanna lose weight. How important is it to find somebody that is like in golf swing or whatever you do to a voice coach what have you that they can help you figure these things out. Second -- that I think more crucially it would -- but the topic is the fact that other people know about to panic and so of course -- used to the process. But even if you ever before entering the post FaceBook and let a lot of people know what you're trying to do. They considered -- actually. Topic that you eventually they'll follow through -- -- -- point in 2000 friends on FaceBook. It is disappointing using it happened network of people who know what you're doing it actually -- -- -- you -- accomplishing the goals. I didn't terms of of resolutions -- what are some of the the common mistakes other than. You know on people note that they make when it comes in Hamlet and analysts here top 10 10 o'clock 10 o'clock ten. Number ten spend more time with family number nine fall in love which I don't know height and plan to do that help others and Airpwn. Dreams. Quit smoking learned something exciting staying in fit to healthy enjoy life to the fullest spend less save more getting organized and lose weight. Number one it hasn't been your experience -- that's a pretty accurate list in terms of the common things that people try to do. Yes exactly comfortable that it wouldn't do it and now it's only people have a tough time. Following through the majority of these cities and -- are flawed concept being nice for the people. They're looking like the fullest. Measure you're gaining progress on these things it is much more important specific goals. Would like -- -- weekly basis in the you can track your progress as the year progresses. Coach do that when it comes to the what is Adam enjoy life to the fullest I mean it's all relative and object as subjective as -- Exactly which is exactly why it's so difficult follow up such a thing like that but if you -- actual act yourself within me what you. On a daily basis walking you do that actually fought so physical and you tracked it could be he could you couldn't Egypt. It was a contract with other people in terms of spending some time and doing. And activity in admitted it and hopefully it. It is more specific in -- more obesity be oriented -- you know that you could accomplish it. Let me ask you this when it comes to for example losing weight. Didn't organized. How people decide upon this of it's based on what's bug in a most of what's. Top of mind are there are often things -- -- that that like laying a foundation that they need to get done before they can do the the things on the list we just talked about. Like the competitive but fleeting thing you know the typical thirty -- from the pick you -- and that's that life besides. -- inevitably that it's not at all. More than a decade after it would be interest. In the back and think for a moment would have been -- over the past couple months well. If you change it really impact your life it's just wanna be like. I got angry about something magical hat status at some kind of resolution that not gonna go anywhere. And I guess he could be the other way where somebody was. Nice -- you did something nice to somebody you're at your basking in the afterglow of that you think it will you know what that's when I'm gonna do for the rest of the right. Or wrong yeah. -- what -- average amount of time -- any idea that that a resolution. Holds up for. I didn't believe it on the topic that the lack of -- the -- within a few days you're within a few weeks. If you lock you into an -- again to be long term to relate to last throughout the year it's got to be more specific you gotta have some kind of prove what system -- the profit. And at the track your progress. Good behavior throughout the process. The FDs and these things and I go cold Turkey whether it be smoke intrigue and be able nicer. Definitely going to be a much more specific in and it looked more units of the block seeing that you know you're not gonna people default. The back pocket collapse of the stock option we have hopefully many years in the peace resolution can make it. Step at a time. You do something your repertoire and eventually what -- that that the kind of person you want. And get a coin a phrase here documenting David's a year -- Syria resolution. Is evolution not revolution. Resolution is evolution which means she's slowly evolved into what you wanna do and it's not revolution where it happens overnight. I like that so I -- -- -- it. Can't bring -- add up again please -- on that. Robby when he comes to. Success rates through these things to do people actually ever changed their life in in anyway years adults use a lot of white noise. So I get on. On the fact is that part of one of the meeting that we believe that is that intervention could help that you could change things on your -- so yeah the -- -- behavior on genetics that you app. The -- based on early experiences. But the bottom line if you about it -- your your thoughtful about it in your specific about it. People -- changed thankfully people -- change. Now Jordan is magnetic whom body a producer on a graduate of Alabama and hey he's he wants me to ask you if you can figure out what's wrong with -- and your psychologist. Certainly the community on the Asian. But if you want my account and we couldn't of the. I wouldn't mind in a sealed joke about the mechanic at -- is like held his office and misses him and my slide under the real quick. I guess another thing is if you stumbled don't think that it's over with you gotta get back on a horse and ride again. And again if you had the. Pacific. The component that you're looking at -- -- act that would have been successful -- -- next to my -- But next -- -- tried that if you started you look at -- and I will be done you're. Then that you have that one little stumble then things off but -- few -- specific about specific -- well you know what this -- it didn't work out. I'm gonna get back up and try again next week. And what about situations where you see here's my thing dot in navy can learn a little bit about me here in Jordan might be able to tell it would trochmann -- And the question is is that I thought it's like you know what Asia begin a new year if you didn't expect anything different. And you can't control it why grind on it does that make sense. Pursuant to the question is why I'm telling them telling themselves that they should be expecting -- different that that money behavior of other people's immune cells. -- that that that you're seeing the people around you that if -- -- your own psyche. The -- try to break -- you know commitment people watching things that. They didn't well it really -- in that the actual lightning and hopefully going to internalize it and apply to that life. For example you get on the road where you know. Cab drivers consistently and that's a local thing we have here on the way to the airport. Hog the left lane don't even do this speed limit but. You probably set yourself up for her failure over aggravation if you know that's gonna happen and then you let yourself be surprised when it does happen and again. That's kind of situation you cannot control. That's a lot of things really -- interpret things that we use things so to be. -- like there -- people out there are two you can go to net that you -- we interpret these things that really ultimately impact the -- we indeed people overall. Is there quick device India resist. If you know somebody always cut you off in traffic or you're driving -- -- -- be the same person but you know it's gonna happen to deal with this -- to -- thanked him. Well educated. People that they knew that the problem is that we can interpret. When -- and I think you -- the -- that anger is important on the means he. Doctors hospital and coming from important. That situation different way emotions about it change as well -- definitely has. If you think you're that upset you if you interpret that at some point to do you respond -- bit differently. I guess it would be an egocentric thing where you automatically presume you know everything that's going on when in fact. Like here's and a guy might be trying -- and hospitals spent the last couple minutes with his mom you never. Exactly if you think. Different about like circumstances. Act I appreciate you time and really do and now we talked to union accepted that you.