WWL>Topics>>2-5-14 2:10pm Angela: on manners in the workplace

2-5-14 2:10pm Angela: on manners in the workplace

Feb 5, 2014|

Angela talks with Jill Rigby Garner, founder/CEO of Manners of the Heart, about proper etiquette in business.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Well I truly hope you unless they enjoyed our last hour but learn something because I didn't tell you I really did. I was very surprised when I read the original study. Big US study showing the amount of sexually transmitted diseases in people over 65. And it's an alarming increase in its we're not joking about and it's something I think we. Have to kind of talk about. Learned a lot from two great doctors but we are. Shifting gears a little bit. For the many who have lamented that manners have gone the way of typewriters. We are not going to give up the fight to bring them back. We've done a couple of programs on the importance of knowing how to be respectful. Thanks to jewel Rigby garner. Founder of manners of the heart -- program now taught in schools throughout the country. But you'll also has a program to help businesses. Fine tune their people skills both for employees and those in management. She calls -- the business of manners. If you have a business and have any questions for Jill would love to hear from new or if you are a fast rising employee wanting to get to the top. And needs some answers please give us a call and of course that number is 260187. I feel like my new best friend is -- and I am so grateful that you have come back -- It's a great subject. Glad so glad to be here it it it it really is a great fend Dick but has unfortunately it's such a heated subject today. Yes it is we have we've lost our manners as everyone says the nets on must become a cliche that day and yet. Underneath that that theory important issue in our society. Yet. Us we have talked a little bit about helping children learn. What did the right things to do it centers -- that we're gonna go to the grownups because in business it's important. It's very important so I wanna start with what you are teaching in New York. Business of manners. With the power of man manners in business the power of them. Absolutely you know we have we spend a lot of time in business making sure that our employees are. Capable have their technical skill Stan that they I know had a gold -- That particular task at that they've been given. But what we have really overlooked for quite some time neon is really working with on working with the social skills some people columns soft skills. Says that they can take the technical skills and really maximize them for the benefit of the company. And now on the menace and other employees on -- today and found Mora and young. Graduates enter the workforce what we're fine dean Indian told from companies is that they look really good on paper. We bring -- and you know it looks like a good grand dual match you know what we need in our company we bring in and they -- time with the energy we higher than. And within six weeks to two months they can get along with anyone at. And and it's really because on that they don't have as basic fundamental people skills. Which we really consider is part of an umbrella. Mean -- -- I think you it was on your brochure that you've had 15% of them and have read this wrong but I think in this. Appropriate at the time hold on 12 it's an Alaska argued that it didn't I don't happen. Yeah I've got it it's 85%. -- accompanies. Successor let's Borland -- and an individual employee. And individuals employee am an individual employees success. 85% and that success is not based on the technical field. That's based on the people scales on the social scale of the -- scaled. Only 15% and their success within your company is going to be based on the technical -- And yet we spend and cut the reverse time wolf an 85% on technical skills of time. And 15% or less actually on helping them develop the people's -- that -- So literally you don't win to a company and to those employees that. Mean all kinds of wonderful criteria that are failing. When it comes to this very important part. You've helped teach them yes we days we offer several different. Different portions and not customized training blocks that we can do you. On each different area -- -- in that area of on communication skills. And now we work on everything we -- communication skills from conversation. TU. How to get along with Stifel call people what you do when there's a problem in and it must be dealt with with a customer. A problem that she must deal with with and I each other with other employees. All the way damn -- that email etiquette and self and everything having to do with communication in any way shape or form. We also work on all of -- skills of things that we used to kind of -- common sense -- did a radio show Wednesday in a caller called in and said. Let -- just common sense what that what happened -- -- -- common sense of course you know that you have to be on tying. You know of course she Natalie that you know he wrapped present a company to -- 24 sevenths whether we want to admit that or not we do. We carry the name of our employer everywhere -- and in what what does that what should that look like what responsibility do we have to the company that we work far. And as the areas that we really -- Manning and market and every area skills and help them are flying. On the people skills social skills soft skills says that they can maximize and technical skills that they aren't half. What do you mean when you say that you talk about bottom line of thinking and top line thinking loved that by. And will we -- and then of course bottom line everyone always talks about you know we're we concentrate in our company on the bottom line. Well if that's truly what you're doing it dealing that your main focuses on your bottom line in the year what's that percent is look like -- their profit lookalike. What I would love cute how you understand is seeking concentrated more on top line which I'll explain. Rather than bottom line you would increase the bottom line. And what I mean -- that is top line thinkers are companies. That -- work very hard to help their employees to meet the needs of their employees. First says that their employees concentrate on meeting the needs of the cost car. The bottom line will take care of itself. If we are for serving the needs of our employees so that they can then intern. Third the needs of the customers like at some truth isn't that that you know very very true we really comment top plan thinking. And we kind of have gotten away from yes we have wee wee bit we've gotten paranoid and down and and not to say. Of course we have to have money we have to have pocket of course. But if that's what we focus on I think women in this flight if that and employees working for you and saying that -- what's most important TU. Is that bottom line. They're they believe me vain and that every decision you make is based on bottom line rather than hand. -- one really is gonna help the employees to either equip them to do a better job where they are. Or to help them help them to feel comfortable secure where they are says that they can and give their all to the company into the customer. They now know where your focus really is and it's comment have a lot to do with how much they're going to be willing to give back to the company. On their loyalty to the company has a lot to do with your loyalty to man and if you're just focused on the bottom line. And you kind of skip over your employees you lose focus on man bank that just as a customer now is. Don't we all know when someone is just trying to sell off something don't we now when that salesman is just working on is quite -- it's really not about finding the best product to meet the need that we had at that at that moment in time and we all that. And so that's why we really -- Matt and I. Of what we can do you of one of the other pieces that we always talk about it on teaching companies -- to serve rather than sell. The -- if you're truly serve -- again your employees so they can serve the customers. If you're truly focus on surveying. Rather than -- lane this takes care of itself. 'cause no one wants to be sold that they want to be fair. Beautiful words that we've just begun I want everyone to stay with this we have wanted to do a fun thing on the comeback we're gonna do. True or false questions and I want you to play along to stay with this this is Angela -- WW well. Well Jill -- garner is back with us and we are delighted to have Hershey has. The wonderful program not managed at the heart which goes into schools but she also has a wonderful program called. Business of manners where she goes into businesses. And teachers are very important. Part of business that is manners and we're gonna do a fun thing we're gonna do a question on what I want everybody who's listening to kind of go along with us. Asking business adequate questions true or false the first one is. What you say is more important than how you say it. And that news. That is all off. Every and a sponsor is but 'cause that is and we really losses with electronic communication today. That communication is only 7%. Words. Only only our communication only 7% of the communication. The message that we can say to someone else is actually just words. 38% and that of our communication is that hits and a ton of voice 50% is visual. -- only 7%. On what you're saying to someone actually takes place within your words. On the way did she say it on intend nation and yet at this is affiliate -- -- a teenage girl as a great example it teenage girl can say thank you. And she used the words thank you but he certainly is not condemn keen -- through the heart out Frankie right. And -- that's one reason that we have -- difficulties actually in our electronic communication as. You don't have now when he hears your voice. And when here's intonation entities seem. Knowing can see your facial expression and -- read your body language I can usery the words and yet. Electronic communications the price that we them as -- the day lackadaisical. Win that where we're -- we just type sent that out very quickly and don't even think about overtime in an often. It's perceived in in the way that we didn't hand. Next question. New acquaintances look at your face and in your feet. -- Wish he could see Angeles -- some of that question. That it's actually trade. Now think about what we just that new acquaintances look at your fat eighth and then the next -- must keep a look -- -- -- -- feet -- know it's you know who is that the researcher that learns that works on the -- -- -- that. But that's what restarts tells us that think about it for just a minute. It's the first thing someone sees -- your faith which of course we understand that part. What facial expression that's what your facial expression is so important particularly. In the business day. If you have a pleasant expression art in a downtrodden are don't regardless of your feeling at that moment. It does add anti Betsy have really shows on your face -- -- it's so important. And typically we do look at faith in -- -- candidacy. Sam Watson. Is as the great example of this whenever he and I -- need anyone from one of his that Vander Wal-Mart. In the all day when he and it needs someone for an top management position he always brought in hand to check demeanor was the first thing he was really looking far. And he brought in and talked with Dan an -- shipped their pain and he looked at their feet detectives seized and when he was looking far west and looking at there she's with attention to detail. Yes he had policies. If you're she's reclaim. He not more of view and it is that your she's for clean ladies or men if the heels were playing off that need to pay attention to -- -- Says the first thing people pay attention to your face you're at a -- which is the parades or a law. They're banning -- -- cheese not tee and then second lines that your feet that we have to be continent of what kind of conditioner -- user and I've never again leave the house without looking at. Fast Walker's imply arrogance not confidence. This line in fall off. Restart tissue and met people who want ten to 20%. Faster than -- it as a -- man actually exude confidence. I think about that -- now think about when a speaker is intra -- east you're NN business training in a -- introduced. Hound I walk to the front has Sonoma STD's. In just Fed's brief -- how you watch the market there walk in with a clip. To their lot and they turn around to greet you. You're ready to hear with they have to sang because they gave you that feeling they have something important to say -- -- history and our daily interactions in business. Someone who walks very slowly. And very methodically. Aren't and then there -- often that he'd find themselves feeling that no one listens to them and now in hears them. Well thank -- just do something as simple as pick up -- clip a little bit locker little faster with their head held high. Because also they -- people who -- -- generally look Dan rather and Martina. So if they walk a little faster with their in house tonight as they're walking to engage with some lines that person is ready and eager to hear what they have -- thing. When making an introduction. Say your client's name first this is very interesting to -- So you're gonna introduce someone you introduce your client first and so I'm going to introduce his client to my boss. I would have thought do the boss for first but now. Now that's right now and here's here's the reason. And when we're making introductions and let me clarify this by saying introductions acting for them it's confusing. Case. Really of all of that -- it is seized with in business. On the most important part of an introduction is to simply due to make line. Talent be put off by feeling that you -- forgotten the name. And he has a K eight and they need Downey entered days. There are many ways that we can talk about another town a -- to get past that moment of not remembering someone saying. And that's important part is to make a stab at it. And not to get caught up in older and younger. In male female but has a lot of as male female pieces particularly have changed so much today. In the business world. That the recent he would say your clients saying first is the cause if he got last simple rules Ollie say the most important person's name first. And that generally keeps you in pretty accurate -- probably 90% of the town. -- in any situation if you're in two days in a client -- -- They are the most important person in that moment whether it's owner of the company. That customers still the most important person says he say that -- 91. You'll fail on track because now the most important part since nine it's been mentioned first. Remain behind your desk to show authority when someone -- your office. That it's actually fall off. You know I'm sure many of us now as the old trick of on the height of the -- You have -- many people will put height of their chair higher. And -- -- board frame -- conference setting said that they you know have a sense of more and the importance. With other people when someone manager office. The worst thing you can do is to stay behind -- -- and only does that not -- your authority. But it on says she it puts that theory here between you and that person who's just in enter office. -- it pits a space between you and that her Tenet knew it ever his manager office for whatever reason. They're they are the most important person at that amendment and he should -- step marine on from behind your desk too great that person with your hand held out. To -- -- to remain that off. Call between you and a person who's just manager office he just seems so important respect. To be respectful yes you come into my office and yes on May be in charge and I'm thrilled -- here right OK we have so much to learn our questions are gonna continue. Right after this but let's go to the newsroom now. Our guest today is Jill Rigby garner who is. The founder of manners of heart but today were talking about. The business of manners the importance of etiquette. Importance of the etiquette for a successful company. And for successful employees. And so we can be having great fun with these questions -- gonna continue that and again if you have any questions and all for jail don't hesitate to call us at 260. 187. To. Moving along with our questions. The question is include your business card in all correspondence with customers. And I'm sure most people just -- athletes trade that actually it's not not -- called it the key word there is call. And there are certain times we don't want to include our business card even when -- correspondence with the customer. If we're seeing -- a condolence cards and I hope we will hear some of the moments in which we should be sending. Cards -- a personal that. If it's handwritten very personal correspondence with its congratulations. Which and we really gotten away from that I know I'm from health globally yes I used to do the clipping. And tablet clip you know and it anyone with featured anywhere any -- saying and drop it in a card thinking if you -- if you -- the recipient of that today. But has its how you felt and then today. But if you're seeing Tina and congratulations again well indelicate any authority any payments. More personal nature on ED nine collegiate business card and it. Because you don't want it -- you don't want to convey a message that yes and -- misty -- now it's really about cultivating business. Now remember top line bottom line thinking -- that we mentioned earlier that -- that showing that part that recipient that yes I'm trying to reach out because. Wow I think an opportunity that I can. Make attacked Wiki here for my business that you do not include business card means that more personal in nature. All right leave your name and number at the beginning of a voice mail voice message and that's actually false now I'm not gonna say it's it's it's a bad thing today but has probably can't really leave it too often in a message but. The reason I'm saying and that froth -- the 'cause -- and if you think about this you listen to your voice -- and you hear some of voice you know come on and say you know hi this is -- on my number is definitely they're numbered and they go on and KUN it is. That they called about what the returning needing Maggette and in fact thanks tot he saint. The numbers gone he didn't have time to -- did you -- -- your pain and and it's gone crazy is it nice she really crazy and so that really courteous thing today and again always permitting the other person and means ahead of your -- -- get this message out quickly. But you need to cost for a man in and think what would be of greatest need to ban at the end of the message you Ollie should say. At the end of the message my number is. Five 4. I. That. -- fast. 190s. 34. Slow the -- -- a little bit and repeated and think how grateful you would be if someone did that pretty. We tell you. -- channel four I -- a number of calls and I couldn't understand half of them. So I literally in my message in hi this is Angela sorry I am not here please leave your name and number and would you please leave it. Very very slowly but not well thought it was. You know am I being rude by doing that but I was desperate because I don't have time to go through fifteen times trying to figure and a please leave it very very slow in the wanna make sure that you can. Get passage stance that you can return their call right you don't want people out there thinking he didn't return their call but they need to reciprocate that making -- It's unity can understand it and that that telephone numbers theory clearly left as well. Another one email is a great alternative to the out of date handwritten note. Well. Off -- at MI surprised you know now I'm Sherry you're not surprised to hear me say false now up. Every line won't really hear this comment and -- in here it really here and take it to heart. In fact the -- is the more dependent. We -- -- in business on electronic communication. The more important -- hand written it has the com. I repeat -- and then the more dependent that we have the common electronic communication and the most important. Handwritten now has the com. You know in business where all look keen you know I feel like we Wear off in on the top of that you know highrise buildings chatting look at me look at me out in business for all. Wanting to -- that edge. That'd -- that what is that they can set us apart than others wealthy. This is one of those places absolutely. The highs every line is -- quick. -- to say even if they take it can offer any Anke. For currency given. It's a quick email. Says that a handwritten. Has the com more and more important more dependent -- -- the more important -- ninetieth. -- really final spot at his party to -- We queen and finding Mannelly that we -- -- in a thanking him for someone who is given NASA kindness in any way. When someone has taken us for a meal when someone had -- opened the door for -- given us any contact to we we recognize that. Why can't you even tech action stat. And when you had invited someone to have lunch with you and you -- the daily event. What did he dropped them thanking his -- thank you so much for joining me. At lunch today yet why not why not -- the extra mile. It's been nice people. That would that would be a thrill thank you for your time I value your time and you spent time with me. People are saying oh come on but now. This means a lot yes that's all right is it inappropriate to take on love this is it inappropriate. To take a doggy bag when Europe again. And I have a lot of businesses. Business meals that I AT&T can imagine. Lunch and dinner and a breakfast is well and that's another discussion and there are reasons why UT's. A particular -- today is the reason why he would tease. To take a client to breakfast as opposed to lunch or dinner there's lots of reasons for the bet there's reasons why he -- that particular meal -- seagate. That it always contain counts me when someone -- -- off take chief alliance and their might be three or four of us sitting at lines. And we've had a particular poster has -- he has picked up attack. And AE at the end of the mail you know they want the doggy bag. The reason you down. It's calling too far with that person's generosity is really letting that person feel that. It's disrespectful I just say that like let's just put it that way. It's disrespectful it really -- that feeling that your being a little greedy and -- You know. Grant. And ignored stingy. In taking -- -- especially -- on that play ball on the table on it's the last one this one went well. Cut your dinner roll with a knife rather than bring it -- Oh what is the most popular Chinese that we do a eking gas it's is so much fine. I if we did it is is that dining training and that's really that's -- over at tutorial meal. Where we take heat from as some of the things I mentioned just a moment ago of teasing which meal is the best meal for it. -- on business that you need to tend to with a client. We taking from the air all the way through all of the table -- this is one of those little fun things that everyone gets wrong. That just so -- the -- hit it on breakfast breads such as hot biscuits. Bagels those kinds of things you cut ease at night and you cut that the battered you can better the whole piece. For the -- to -- and hot breakfast read the rest of the time practicing dinner. You always break the brand that has its price an expression break bread together. That's a way to remember it but she -- break a role any break little pieces at a time the only bright one piece that kind. And he -- that one piece and a bite sized piece you don't break the whole thing in half he do not batter the entire roll. He drank a little pieces at a time and some people say that it's just ridiculous. But one reason for that is the 'cause it fly and stay on the Neil. A lot of the different time table etiquette pieces on ankle along with the business and tiny a lot of it is -- team. Give us opportunities for conversation. Flows and mailed me on you know we've gotten in this fans stayed. Generation town we live in where people that can't eat and the goal is Edith as she keenly table. And a lot of the table etiquette rules really your man team how -- sliding -- enjoy the dining experience which of course we know a lot about you Marlins. Hit one and -- -- That's that's right right. I want everyone to stay with -- we're going to be talking to -- more. About other issues businesses really need to know about etiquette and how can help their business right after this. We are talking business manner with the expert Jill -- garner and we have a caller Brad from uptown -- Thank you very much Angela -- and thank you again very very informative. I'm wondering and maybe it's -- and you know understand it it is. You know I'm wondering about etiquette for public. It. You know after Katrina of course we get a lot the community meetings and official body. He -- wanted. Public input but there are a lot of us felt like well now really they didn't really want our consultation at all he treated. William limited part time in the course in response the public -- it and abuse you know accused. And so I want the here what your -- Yeah well whether there. Things to cut. You don't -- with people which you'd have to -- we have. In that didn't look well. Really know how to deal with these teach you about -- Well you know Brad. The last I was on an a mom called and and mentioned that she was teaching her daughter's. TU. To give did not really show respect if disrespect had been chanted ban. And I would kind of bring bring -- back to that point again you know we all have a choice tank. Every day endeavoring can't honor we have the choice if we are shown disrespect. We can she used to show respect in return. We never have to give district returned disrespect or disrespect his -- -- and and -- how -- take that ENT the public setting next year and -- -- referring to all it really would take. Is for one person to stand up and be respectful and the fan base. This respect for others -- policy. And Allen -- encourage all of that that'd be willing to CNET and be that one person because we can't make that choice we don't have to return. Disrespect when disrespect it's been given tasks and you know we're all trying to work to bring about a greater stability. Our society. And that's one way to start it. -- I really appreciate this call we'll take another break we'll be right back. So many thank used to Jill Rigby -- for this wonderful hour talking about the business of manners a final thought. -- Harris tell more about a person than any other behavior. Either the mastery of manners. Or that app since. What a -- to -- you know you have a permanent invitations we're gonna come up with other ideas we need to keep this conversation going thank -- Angela it is such a pleasure to be at -- thank you very very much.