WWL>Topics>>2-14 6:45am Tommy, Valentine's Day tips

2-14 6:45am Tommy, Valentine's Day tips

Feb 14, 2014|

Tommy talks to Dr. Karen Ruskin, a licensed marriage and family therapist & author of "Dr. Karen's Marriage Manual," about Valentine's Day

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Eight -- in the U. Thought love themselves likes. 644 Tommy Tucker talking about Valentine's Day -- -- and text what if you share the same bank account if you both went out and -- a gift for each other. It seemed like a big waste of time money and effort especially -- -- won -- -- both he -- didn't like it. So when I'd use the money on something you both may want instead of wasting money or hurting feelings. And I think this comes out of communication we'll see with doctor Karen -- a friend of ours a licensed marriage and family therapist. And author of doctor parents' marriage manual morning doctor Karen. -- mining. Again. Freezing out there that is here now in the wet black seat here -- -- that. Only in some relationships. Other than that we get a pretty good weekend on do you are. You on -- right now and and -- and we partly cloudy breezy today mild highs around 67 I don't mean to make you jealous which also. Saying to again. Not a good thing and -- president Tuesday when I hear about this highs of several. Our -- and our you know happy February 14 the team. -- so tell me about some. Communication and -- I guess we'll start with that text when it comes out to Valentine's gifts themselves out you know. That you know I know a guy that that -- a wife one time that -- he bought -- why chin. And the response was unionized nice goal like to a wide world did you give me this I think wishes that the money on some canals. And from then on he didn't go to wealth of that guys so well how public how do you determine whether somebody wants out and if you -- on the same page Clinton's. -- you know I expect a -- because he watney if somebody something. -- their tangible. Or are verbal or your time with them because she wanted to show you care. But at the same point there are times where you really miss -- -- so I'm not suggesting that it easy but I am suggesting that it's doable. And really it's about having. -- marital relationship Q you know they say. Social -- is -- if somebody wants to spend time with you know if they don't want what you have to say no if they'd like you know if they don't like -- All things relationship with your pairing was dated she and boyfriend girlfriend and not have a relationship Q in the fact is that. He's saying can't you say when you Gary do you suppose the fine out of the other person like she wouldn't. Act now now -- and the ample hall. Brett the jet flight with social issues. And -- You're trying to. Get. Mean and saying. In them in every. Whether it accurately and go out. There Hannity here at the right could be good. It. There usually what they're saying there. Has been saying that. You get the chance -- -- you. Spend. Time he's the gift of time. Or -- -- hand the ball high and that is that something tangible and I. Think she. -- actually. If you -- Well and you know we had a conversation in the office one time about. -- -- Is not about what's in the box it's about how well you know the other person in the other personal no. Like -- and if you listen to them and you know van and you try to find out what their interest and and and Sean Payton even in his book one time talked about. Going out and get his wife say they were living apart does he was here coach in the saints and I believed the story as he went on bought his wife and expensive bracelet and gave it to -- He was awkward because she knew you know does not mean you do as did not and -- Sean -- -- in this in his book that ages did this stages it was last minute it was an afterthought and and I guess each couple a political. Gap that that the opening and emailing me -- men and women pocket they feel like an afterthought. But that doesn't feel good at all and it really does come down to exactly said how well you know the other person because there's some people -- easy really appreciate something tangible and it really is the -- taking -- time -- find something. Other times it's. Could be just. And timely here and they wanted to be a night out he -- and touching words every relationship is any different the intensity each. Whether you've been together for a long time for a short time you're going through different times sometimes it's harder times sometimes it's yeah it's time. And he needs to be mindful of what my partner and me right now that sounds Wednesday what are we going through what is -- need. Now the fact is that the way we -- they'll be joked it's you know except it's a hallmark holiday. But an idiot did you look at ways that sense but the the fact is it's an opportunity. You know for disputed did you and that doesn't help anyone because the fact is it's an opportunity. To take a moment to say -- -- -- special. -- -- I don't think it's just be once a year Valentine's Day. View this as an opportunity. To say you're special to me and then obviously other times of the year. Like every day actions that I -- you expect me with your words and that your actions. Like take off the laser sight for. One just yet like as this earlier we kid around about. Not liking each other but it brings to another topic about falling in love at first because sometimes you think. Is a person and after about six months you realize my gun him and who is this. So -- the Afghan people fall in love at first sight is that a phenomenon that is actually possible. -- falling out with something -- -- First flight and she -- then he'd get no other aspects of them they don't last very much so that. Following that first fight with with some things back. It. But over time that something might not be enough. All that power. Personality characteristics. That. -- is too overwhelming for you and my ticket and somebody overtime before. You really get -- is that in your life for that because I still believe in. -- marriages really commitments they'll get to know the person. And as valiantly. Not only what you love about them is this simply -- take -- there. Staff because that happened. That day jubilant that issues. You're not -- -- all qualities of the -- and. If a couple was listening right now and I don't mean. To bring anybody down and is trying to add some advice -- the doctor Karen -- in the what if Valentine's Day has become become rather most hollow kind of thing where they. Hate to see it come around because it's a date for romance and love and tenderness and it -- ultimately from net. Yeah. Well. Like we're just talking about a moment ago and who is that you teeny bit eating apples to feel like they're really Annie get hot. He opinion as an opportunity. To. Not to look at it. I have to say something special let me get a card that has something special. Opportunity of EP one. 91. To start the next phase of like the rest in our lives. -- -- in the -- -- the new year opportunity to make government function well. -- and an opportunity to -- something into competition you know like we've been going to really hard time in Iraq. For years but the fact is high value view. I appreciate you I mean what could be what I can -- and I'm going to take action after kidney tissue that. And show that. -- I immediately as a means to be -- for at least -- about it but the fact he is a bunch of pictures from pat from happier times. He can put them all together. Collide. And you can. Picture frame in that and taking time for years back out to show them being in fact be time to do so that. An intangible. And if you're looking to act as physical play -- it's been a lot you can bring home some. Clean -- and say I just want you to be able to relax after heart they are good at heart you know we had a heart -- -- We'll keep you look inside silently you know that. I care about you know for some couples if they've been you know hasn't been a really long time. It might feel there he's very awkward but there's also that there a possibility that. Being vulnerable and offering it. Could open up the opportunity. For -- action still being raised for the couple out there that under. The topic that I'm talking about you can be crazy can do this evil ones take act. Doctor Karen I can't think of any better words ended on we appreciate your time it's doctor. Karen's marriage manual and you get better and Amazon.com. More on the -- -- at the bookstores -- deal. It can go to my website for -- signed autographed copy I'm really happy it didn't that. Like -- that in dot com. You got any period after those spelled out DO CTO -- Actually CR TRT eight R&R. UFK I -- dot -- I'm a pleasure is always doctor happy Valentine's Day to -- My --

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