WWL>Topics>>3-11-14 3:10pm Scoot: on cohabitation before marriage

3-11-14 3:10pm Scoot: on cohabitation before marriage

Mar 11, 2014|

Scoot asks if it's better for couples to live together before marriage.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

And good afternoon I'm shooting for Angela you heard we've got some rain in the area and it rained ending tonight and it's gonna actually turn cooler. Should you know that I -- hopefully it's going to be great for Sunday because Sunday is visiting saint Patrick's victory in battery. Monday is officially saint Patrick's -- you know text and graphics are very seriously here with either Irish or not. -- skill -- glad you're witnessed we've been talking about. This field that would be clear at this -- -- On preakness day the Bible the official state of Louisiana which is a total waste time. I'll discuss blog which is on our website also on our FaceBook page. Is titled ego driven politicians are not helping Louisiana you can read that picture with others had to be -- you -- -- you can join the conversation our FaceBook page which is WWL radio. -- and here's an update on our David W a pretty general opinion poll which has been. Are you for or against the state of Louisiana making the Bible the official state book 45% are against a sorry 55% against it. And 45% or four and give us your opinion by going to WW built outcome. It has long been believed that if you live with somebody before you married then that increases the chances of divorce. Now there's a new study that shows that living together before you get married is not linked to divorce. So let's talk about living together. Did you live with the person you're married to before you guys got married. And are you glad you did. Or are you be sorry you do it. Did you ever live with somebody and then because of what you learned about that person living within. You then decided not to get married. If you wanna join Russia with a comment and I'd like to talk about your experience with living together and would you recommend living together. Before you got buried. I can imagine marrying somebody that you didn't live with -- that's that's my personal opinion. Although there are people who do it all the time and they have very successful marriages so what worked for you. Did you live with somebody before you marry him. And is that something that you would recommend for your kids. And recommend for others. If you wanna join us with your comment our numbers 2601878. Toll free 866889. -- seventy at a text numbers activity -- And also did you ever live with somebody and learn something about him two -- you decided not to marry him and it was that was that a good thing. Now the stigma of living together has certainly changed since the sixties and seventies. A long time ago when I wish him coming invasion of living with somebody was considered checking -- Living in sin. Well it's no longer considered that it's now more formally referred to as co habitation. Now that is not necessarily something that is going to be can grew up with the religious beliefs of everybody there are many people who believe that you should not. Had sex -- outside of wedlock. -- -- lived together -- not have sex. I think you could. Not everybody but some people could actually do that so we -- living together wouldn't necessarily. Automatically. Includes sex. Would you like to live with somebody before you married and if you've never been married. Do you think you'll live with somebody before you marry him. This new study shows that there is not a link between living with somebody and and getting divorced which is being. Belief for a long time. According to a sociologist at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro in real -- -- for she says co habitation does not cause divorce. About two thirds of the new marriages in the United States start. With co habitation. So. Did you or would you live with somebody before you American. And you know I I I don't ever expect to get married again. But if it did ever happen I I guess I could marry so I guess I could get to the point where we feel some feel like I knew somebody well enough to marry them without living with -- but -- I don't know that living together and you know there was some there was nor do I think this mainly came from. The the parents of of the girls. That cliche wide by the cow if the milk is free a suggestion is about why would I marry this person if I can live with a mean you know I want. Without actually marrying them which you know living together sometimes is a very good for financial reasons you've got a two young people. And they spent so much time together instead of paying for two houses or to apartments. You share the cost of one apartment so it's financially advantageous to actually lived together. Now if it is against your religious beliefs to has sex outside of wedlock I wouldn't recommend that for you. But is living together okay. Is that something that that work for you -- would you recommend that for others. If you wanna join our short numbers 2601872. All 38668890. Which seventy. -- -- Amber's -- 77 here's a Texan reads of my wife and I got engaged bought a house moved in together and got married about a year later. Nine years later we're still happily married. -- replacing John -- you're on WW real good afternoon. Great now you know. I met my wife. An election you. We both came from there religious. Household. But that were also. Buys it -- horrible relationships between our -- respectively. When you get it but for years and on the 21 will be our thirtieth wedding Berkshire. Are you glad you lived with this person that she married before you -- him. Yes yes absolutely. And it was a real conscious handler and likes company that we sort of just eased into an account that we talked about it can't we. Didn't wanna repeat. Situation where we at this adversarial relationship that we were never end. Because our religion for business you're divorced and -- -- so your religion would it enough and well and I want a discounted delegates are religious I cannot. In in my parents were never would you are still married. And they're in their eighties and I don't know how they can stand and they can't stand each other in my analogue that it you know they've. Or go to church multiple times a week both Stanley and yeah I talked about some. So was there more a stigma on getting divorced than living together and having sex out of wedlock. I mean certainly and I mean. We kept it on the down from our parent or not to sneak around them so that we were not shut them and hurt their feelings as we were -- respecting error. World we've gotten but I you know we all. Acquiesce to their world view and that we got married in the church. And went pretty -- and a whole nine yards just to -- That it wouldn't be disappointed. They found out about in years later from. Muster -- that must've been rather hard to keep the secret. Well we hear what you live another down in your college its job well. Yet stopped the apparent that really -- -- -- as its owner on super close contact with their current rate as there. You know stretch in between trying to figure out how adult so it works. -- we -- to get married real seriously. And sit in -- into. I think it's all. In law and law away but it -- -- work. But I'd -- The only thing that. Based on our experience that living together to -- stickers. We started in fine work to that we would not an air. Mountain there's year. There's that one attitude in the -- And they have to clean up after somebody's. And I sometimes have men get the had a bum rap for being in the -- when it really is -- the woman sometimes. Well it can't happen that you have my mother it was a clean freak and my father grew up and military families. They can stand that the order that today mired in laws grew grew up. Area. Which lots of help. It wasn't a big deal that. You teach your kids cleanup went on the air. -- I appreciate you sharing your story with the specialists into WW out so did you live with the person you're married to before you got married. Are you dating somebody would you plan on living with them before you married him. Odd for a long time it's been believe that if you live together before you get married that just increases the chances of divorce. But now there's a new study that shows that living together before marriage. Is not linked to divorce. So if you live with somebody in the recommended to -- with with somebody before you married him and then you decided you really didn't wanna be married to him after after living together. And does anybody get married today. Without having lived together first. If you and share your story with a solid numbers 2601870. Toll free 8668890. Point 78. And text -- -- it's -- here's a Texan reads I've been married for eight years and it's possible to live with someone without having its tax. I scooted for Angela -- of your calls and more of your text our next under VW well. Did you live with your spouse before you married him there's a new study out that shows that co habitation does not lead to divorce and that is contrary to what a lot of studies have told us up to this point. Frankly I don't really think you should pay attention to studies because everybody's an individual. And you should pay attention to statistics you should do what is best for you know what was best for you. Could you imagine what can you imagine marrying somebody without living with them. You can support to live with somebody before he married and does anybody. Get married without having live with the person first. If you wanna join our show with your -- your comment our numbers 2601870. Still free 8668890. What's happening. And protects them from. It's 87870. I was reading an article about the the stars of that showed efficacy TLC network. Nineteen kids and counting. Apparently the girls are not gonna Q essentially get married. That would lead to some rather boring dates when I was growing up and taking girls out to the Lakefront. From uptown New Orleans leader and a VW oil. -- league I'm in my second marriage. The first matter. Lasted twenty months and we did not have been the first the second marriages over twenty years and we did not want to hear. So you think the difference. Beginning -- the person in every aspect including the bad element and maybe some others. Was much younger the first time a little bit over the second part abducted an incident. At least 25 or older I would have no problem with them living together. In -- -- -- on the short they're really prepared for that sort of thank. And that's my take on that. There. We appreciate you sharing your story -- -- -- the caution is deal lived together before you get married and it really depends on the individuals. You know I can't recommend. What you should do because you know your situation you know who you're thinking about marrying. And it also like I can't make a decision because of your specific religious beliefs although I think it is possible to live with somebody. And not have sex. Mean you don't have to have sex just because you live in the the same place you could have you can have a two bedroom apartment. And save money and I guess that's Malia and another question could you live with somebody. And not have sex with them. I mean I'd like to think that if if that's something it is important to your religious beliefs. That you could actually do that. To join our short numbers 2601870. Toll free 8668890. Itself and protect summer's activity seven. Here's attacks that reads living together three years and had a child prior to marriage. Seventeen years two additional children. And we're still here. Here's a text -- you shouldn't to live with someone before marriage that's my personal opinion I got married at 21. It's going on seventeen years still happily married and we believe together before marriage. Did you from -- Simon your WW August afternoon. I wouldn't think but you know aren't -- national. I get -- I'm not a lot older well in. People to get married -- but deployment or they interpret the first ultra long beard and I got married at a really really young agent. I got a lot actor and few doubt that they vote that. Were you were supposed to get married it was like a rite of passage. -- exactly what I don't proclaimed to be any. Any religion I guess I. I -- over the general Christian OK and that's what I thought what. I -- the spectrum of -- you know and I'm now married again. And I realized that my wife now notion that book is a little bit I mean in the military not that. -- -- that you like everybody's going to be different every scenario you. But like I took a -- emotional spectrum -- Nader -- at the worst thing what happened in the world. And I got a truck are -- are actually be a big people Mueller and almost a spectrum. How they're gonna react to -- bank and not how you know if they're going to be it true that you get sick. Yeah Simon you know I I see it in the face is that I quite often talk about this on the scripture in Nigeria and every of your we're surprised are filling during the day. I live downtown and so I'm I'm constantly seeing every weekend especially this time of year you you see Europe a parade of and bachelorette party she see evaporate and you could tell because -- -- girl's -- A -- bride's -- -- And the other girls says sometimes have matching T shirts and and the other out rowdy day you said but you -- best of parties -- to see a lot of bachelorette parties here. And I also and think about some of the young -- that I see downtown and I I I hate to be. Gonna IC weddings coming out of their churches and going into receptions all the time on all weekend. And I hate to be cynical or jaded but I look at the faces of some of these these young people getting married and I'm I'm thinking that it's just. I think for a lot of people there in love with. The idea of getting married there in love with being that celebrity because your your temporary -- so liberty when you get married. But in -- in your circle is you're you're the super star you're a celebrity. But you can't be in love with just being a celebrity for the moment you you really have to be. Prepare for what's coming and I just in the faces of somebody young people I think that they're just getting married to the idea well you know we're in love and this is what we're supposed to do. And and I think a lot of people get married today with the idea hey if it doesn't work we'll just get divorced. And and and your arm and truly I'll I'll put our feet are not part of -- younger when I got married I would that finger bill. It was what was expected of my life. You know that was the final outcome ought to get a job. Outlook -- friendly relationship and you don't know that you're ready for the tablet ready for an idea to beat -- adults. -- -- little -- -- get to that you know penalties on. I important -- I -- I would think that your generation is is having a different view aren't feeling the need to get married as just part. Of of a rite of passage supportive of becoming mature part of being an adult all you get married. I mean my generation mind you I. They called me an odd ball everywhere ago and everybody who -- -- -- of people. -- you break me right 100 -- I can't thank them and that about. People in -- and they don't do it because. It correctly -- adoration because you protect what some people think -- -- economic it was that person because we're not married. And that's where co -- can turn into a bad idea because up like that suck up and then next thing you know you advocate. To. Are you -- or are you happy now. Good Simon thanks for sharing your story -- hosting in Baton Rouge here's a Texan -- -- living together and not having sex is called marriage. Part of your -- stay with this if you wanna join us with your story your comment on numbers 2601870. Toll free 8668890. Point 78 text numbers 877. I should you live with somebody before you you Merriam did you when did you work for you. Now we'll be right back with more -- -- differential here's -- of the WWL news updates with Don -- good afternoon -- student for an. Alessio you've heard we've got some rain through tonight did that things are gonna get a little chilly and hopefully a very nice for the weekend. We're talking about a new study that he's just been released today it's contradicts a lot of studies that it indicated that if you live with somebody before you get married. You have a better chance of getting divorced. I never really believe that but that's what the studies show it again I don't think you should really always pay attention to studies or statistics you always figure out what's best for you. And the person fit your wrist or one of the -- So did you live with somebody before you American. -- did you not -- a -- before you married him and were there any surprise is what you got married. And did you ever live testimony to the point where. He decided he could marry him. Are thinking about this because I was married to once for thirteen years and to get married very young did not live together before. I've been I was married again for a couple of years and we worked together. For a couple of years before we got married. And then I was with somebody for sixteen years engaged. And it didn't work out. So. I don't know if there's really -- direct relationship between living together and getting married in the marriage. Working out -- or not -- again I think it's all. What you think of your situation. And in knowing what you don't like yourself and the other person -- with here's attacks that reads of my partner and I dated long distance for nearly two years. Then we moved in together and have been together for 25 years. We adopted a child ten years ago. Sounds like a good couple. Long distance two years. Moved in together together for 25 years and adopted a child for 1010 years ago. The text goes on to say would get married. If it was allowed in the state. Here is attacks stood dated my husband for two and a half years that did not live with my husband been married 39 years and we are both Christians and god. Is in our marriage and we love each other as much today if not more great story. From. Somewhere on the road so a year and a VW out good afternoon. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- And we have been there for forty years now while you know Arctic. But we're there at the children. And it -- be -- what I'd do it differently in. What was it marriage. I would say hi. I'll tell them that you know that -- because lead was back in the Catholic religion unfortunately. And now and but it was there you know before you did you then. You know. I did and -- Bat because that really was. Got to get that eight. Pastor or even you know. Each other and that probably. -- the way it and back there -- out there -- that there still happily side. And it is back feeling not the way out -- and there's no. You know it was. Just because. -- Strict upbringing like I think it. Would -- idea that about that issue and enjoy it there's just that he had been about. The girl. We just didn't do. Are you when you first got married him when you when you first on yourself living together and you that you hadn't lived together before. Where -- surprised were there surprises about an hour on the how. There are a lot of surprises. You know again like that was it was saying -- outlet and as well -- -- huge -- But yeah that a lot less than -- quietly as. We we've had little issues but I think that because again. Really love it we just work it out and beat out there will be a bad forty years we still you know it's not perfect but. Each other and -- I don't know you know that it might what it would mean I don't know that it makes it different artwork are. So I appreciate you sharing your story -- and our graduates into their view of hero if you wanna join us with your comment our numbers 2601870. Toll free 8668890870. At a text number is eight said he said he is living together a good idea before you get married we're talking about that unsuited for Angela. I ego driven politicians are not helping Louisiana that's the scotus blog it's on our website at WW dot com it's also our FaceBook page at WWL radio if you wanna join that conversation. And it really is about lawmakers. It. Trying to pass legislation that is just. Meaningless feel good legislation that is not gonna do anything to make this state any better. And if lawmakers get away with stupidity. Is that -- fault or is it dollars. Here's an update on a bevy of you -- -- opinion poll. Are you for or against the state of Louisiana making the Bible the official state -- 51% are against it. 49% of -- and that's what inspired the conversation about politicians trying to pass. Meaningless feel good legislation. I'm all for the -- offer christianity but I don't think the state should sanction the Bible is the official state book will be right back but it WL. But this return to be an interesting topic one day soon. A Colorado barber shop owner says that he standing by his anti pot smell policy. If you smelled like pot in the state of Colorado which is still legal if you smelled like pot in your -- right. -- second cut your -- Now we talked about the Arizona legislation recently vetoed by the governor of Arizona that would allow businesses to refuse service to gays and lesbians. Not based on their religious beliefs and obviously that's unconstitutional so you wonder there's going to be a debate about this he said I feel it's my right to make that statement. Same thing. As no shoes no service is smelled like pot you don't get a haircut here. I'm scoots in -- Angela we're talking about living together before he -- marriage and that's a good idea from the com Rhonda you're under the WL. Did you -- your husbands were you married in yeah yeah sure it -- get together for a thirteen year. The nineteen year old and we've had a great life together. And get out what you want anybody else in the whole world we got married at the thirteen years. Know what you want if you if you are a lot of thirteen years and everything was signed posters why did you decide to get married. Well he was forced to fight for her before. And I told him morning and made sure that he morning you to be his. Like -- -- it's like he wanted to be part and -- Heatley you tell me he kept telling me that's where it and if you are. At the thirteen year today and I and I -- -- I wanted to make sure that. He would he would ready for. Did you get did did you say that you were 190. Yeah and he would. Forty okay because he was divorced or so that was quite an age difference do. One more year age difference yes and that's that's worked out OK okay he's he's not -- friendly Ali and that's firm. In her -- what we do church out together. To think Martha didn't get back up pregnant. And I told him I'd did not want him to marry me the has -- -- thought. So. It was a decision that. I wanted it to be right. Because there's something in the light. And hit it my best friend actor and it. All right that's always best in fact I can't imagine being married is here. Spouse is it your best friend can't imagine right -- right well Rhonda thanks for sharing the story I'm glad things are going well for you. -- thank you thank you it. That great. I can't caller in Manama I think our -- Tom. Run I appreciate you calling and you know you're an example of you know fuse together at the instinct to call a few if you know I I've run into people all the time as he tells -- -- Dana I really wanted to call but I didn't. While just just pick up the phone call it's just you and I have a conversation and it's it's that easy so if you've never calls a radio show I I hope this is the first when you call I'm going to call -- Do you feel good he can you share. He knew why I'm here earlier like I I can't go. To which all. About it. So -- was curious as to what you might be saying about him and care. I don't I'm glad you called in their best of luck to you guys here's a text that reason married 25 years could not be happier. Did not live together prior we follow the teachings of the Catholic Church I agree with your assessment about statistics. However consider the fact. That 99 out of a hundred Catholic couples who receive the sacrament of holy matrimony. And ten man's. Never get divorced. 99 out of a hundred couples. Who received though the sacrament of holy matrimony and attend mass weekly. Never divorce. I'd like you to send me that I like to know where they came from I think that's maybe your perception I don't think -- is is really the real statistic. -- here's a text I dated my first wife for five years we lived together. Got married divorced six months later my second wife we dated for six months and we've been together. For thirty years. His attacks I was engaged we lived together for twelve years broke up -- a year ago. I felt if we had lived apart. We would still be together. I just go differential. And we'll be right back under the WL. I just prejudice a Colorado barber shop owner who says that he has an anti pot smell policy and it is so it's legal now for recreational use in the state of Colorado. But he says he's not gonna cut anybody -- her second serve anybody that smells like pot. And here's attacks I think it's good for the Colorado barber I hate that smell that's one of the reasons honestly I don't want it legal here. And and the fact that it's a drug. We've been talking about living together before you get married there's a new study says that that does not necessarily lead to divorce which is contrary to a lot of studies from the past. Here's a text that read said been married for 53 years never live together had four children in wedlock all are successful. And had morals. And or drug free. And here is attacks that reads and. And let's see where is that text and audio I've still one post divorce issue that can cause a conflict on a new relationship trying to live together. In order to know each other better is the co habitation clause in your divorce decree. Yes that can be a problem -- has also been a conversation our FaceBook page here's a comment on FaceBook from Richard I don't lived together before getting married. It also goes along with don't have sex before getting married either when I think -- Newman tub and assist in our studio producer mark Bernard sports talk is next on WWL.