To Karen Ruskin joins us right now she is a friend of virus frequent guest they licensed marriage and family therapist. And author of nine key techniques for raising children good morning doctor. Good morning how -- you I guess I should say the doctors in that. I love to watch the whole. Charlie Brown you know you'd be missing in Iowa capital doctors that it gave me great cracked up but I'll take the -- But you know that Lucy was not a real doctor right. All. Then today. I only make the thing that you are correct. Really not used to that when people. At and T want people think you're sitting in any house of the lemonade stand. Thank you thank you connect at heated seat because my sense of humor might not go over so well the at the radios that thank you for. Clarifying. You have a great sense of human let me ask you this first and I know I don't mean. Draw you into the vortex of the controversy is the late great justice Oliver Wendell Douglass once said but. You know -- this does this conversation that the owner of the clippers Donald sterling and when he tells a girl. And I've known Magic Johnson night I think affected you admire magic I've known him well and he should be admired and you're saying that it's too bad you can't admire him primary. Privately. And during your entire blinking like your whole life admire him bring him here feed him -- him I don't care you can do anything. But don't put him on and its program for the world to seize on him to call me. Is it odd to not take exception to mood a person at your sleeping with sleeping with some meals. Up all of this story that's a thing it's that really jumps out of me and strikes set. Because people are racist people it is people do that. But does say. God bless -- ads labeling but just don't post a picture of you seen it with him seems odd. Well I think in general that we become such same and therapeutic society in the sense that we pulled everything now and people feel they can say anything. I think really the problem is why do we feel that the culture. That we need to change if they would actually -- Because we're posting and we have no boundaries anymore people for years have had there. Opinions whatever they might be whether it's racist whatever it is and the hope is that at least eight is the unit that we have a little bit more. Open mindedness. Two people is there went their sexuality into the topic is but the fact that people feel that they can and many people feel that they can get both gravity on. It displays an ugly news about that. It was just picture of him. I'll go girl is biracial and a black basketball player I'm not trying to bring race and this I'm just saying it would seem to me rational. That you would prefer that person to post the pitch you know goes back. Pretty nobody post anything about the fact that the topic I'm going to get what I mean we've got we've got -- -- right at -- member of the old adage if you don't have something nice that they don't they at all. Well how about you know actually learned in kindergarten. And we can start considering that we'll -- posting things as well. I guess I'm gone and we'll talk about the dating in between thing when we come back -- cameramen reminded of the quote from bull Dora where is Susan Sarandon says. Measured -- would you rather have me here with you Colin out his name and they are with him Colin out your name. 723 more with doctor Karen Ruskin when we come back and and as for me. Anyway. I totally get traffic that would Terrell Robinson. I Tommy Tucker talk in the doctor Karen Ruskin does author of the marriage manual author of ninety techniques. For raising children and doctor Kerry and I only wish I could read books with the same frequency that you write them. Now true unfortunately we're talking about a -- young lady was -- you couldn't take her date to the prom and seized. Seventeen I guess he's twenty. And how little it's a right aged differently talked him don't 22 year old beg your pardon she's -- when he too if you talked about betweens what does that mean. So -- is not quite yet. The key batter then twelve refer to themselves between once she hit thirteen. Years teen. Got to London some tech series they Tommy fifteen years ago my wife and I started dating she was sixteen I was twenty your dad was -- JP. Which is a sheriff's deputy now we have a little girl who's seven and I'm not sure I can allow her to date a twenty something it's sixteen balloons as. I was -- for my wife fought for nine years now was only seventeen when we went to her prom it can work. So we're gonna talk about that we come back with doctor Karen Ruskin it is the a heart of primes prom season right now also will give her thoughts and if you have any questions or comments. 260 donates them any toll free 866889087. I -- you have a seventeen year old daughter. About three months shy of eighteen man Unionist get a prom coming up and if she told me she's taken a twenty hurled. Don't know how I'd react to that although it's only a two year age difference. We'll find out from doctor Karen Ruskin what it is that we should think and how we should evaluate things at least as far as the healthy approach goes right now look. Time for data WL first news isn't that we go to David polling -- Connecticut teenager eighteen years old -- -- -- who she can't bring the 22 year old man that is her boyfriend and it is old bit. As evident 'cause seller regionally it's an OK let's say -- 45 meet a fifteen year old girl you three. Times older than she is so you wait fifteen years you're sixty seized 39 year twice is old is she is I'll carry when will you ever catch up. And if you think about high school. Maybe they in my high school -- gut. Grown men and women going to school with. Preview of pre pubescent. Now boys and girls and it seems to work out so I would have more problem with. Say a freshman dating a senior an eighth grader dating -- senior that I would. Eighteen year old dating a 22 year old doctor Karen -- is here who is. Our guest a friend of -- as a family counselor licensed marriage and family therapists author of ninety techniques for raising children the marriage manual and other books. Back to carry an -- it is sort all of this out and explain. I guess the dangers or positives. An adult dating. It technically it's -- teenager. Right well. -- our listeners earlier prior to the commercial who had. Submitted their commentary they really hit it and now on and Mary you have one guy is submitted that. His now wife a year ago she was fifteen years younger than and then. While held back that everything is really great and happy together and it is that he has you know without mentioning at they'd feel a little uncomfortable. With having your teenagers aged and older to me. That would -- -- different dimension that you don't know within their gentleman said that he would feel comfortable with that. And maybe what is the Iowa anyway point being that -- I don't think. The only witness when your kid within every year teenager okay within that three year. Block -- down that makes more. That you expect to get at this. Really being difference between emotional. On -- -- and comfort and tired. And development and physiological. Actual need to diet and comfort. He did not block in print -- and there's no lack of my answers there are some. Eighteen year old who really truly are very intellectually. Physically and psychologically mature and beating the twenty year old -- 21 year old. Makes a lot of sense for them. For someone now being eighteen. Seventies and -- it was twenty or 21. Don't really really bad idea. Why he ultimately. It is about. The boat and -- and the chronological -- but would I -- -- as a parent you need to be mindful chronologically. There that is scary you should not just stay home more mature but it's a war the president -- that don't they and you really have to evaluate on TTE. And all that being said not to be indelicate but. If you have a son that's when he too and I think a lot of times a boy may be older if you have a son that's when he -- that stating somebody that sixteen or seventeen I guess you'd. He gets among the considerations some practical considerations and aren't. You know Michael that three year mark I'm not -- many. So strict in black and white that I'll care in three years did you -- oil well went into halftime. Think they can -- -- considered three years because. We need to go across that line from. In the years older she's over three years older three years younger over that mark. Eating -- the change in terms of who that person is. Really caught that the hit to -- what. -- imagine too young -- back to a gag about 45151630. At some point the age difference really doesn't matter if you're sixty yeah. You know it don't matter it really. But with a different kind of matter it -- in differently it now you're you're sixty -- about thirty. What you're going through -- sixty year old man and emotionally in the life changing time I present the thirty year old woman different. But in terms of a ten year difference between thirty and 26. In 52 different animals. Are not really. Immediate difference at any different it's different animal but there's still a difference if -- ten years difference in -- You are going and something different and -- are ten year younger are well they're important Koppel Egypt matters but it's not -- team. It the forty -- the thirty year old or the head. But it doesn't diminish slightly in ninety -- It's been. -- have you met an eighty year old and a nine year old who you are not who you are really. I just -- -- near each other so it didn't matter just kidding me. And lounges in. And does matter I got people find out more about you web site you. Doctor can't -- in dot com and CE RK ER ER US KIN dot com at my website Twitter -- -- camera and mental health at some my Twitter -- well baseball. Web site. Attachment to my book -- -- -- you know autographed copy and slid into the -- as well you know via. The web site I can't eat but I'm not suggesting how I mean that that. Think sometimes it's really a good thing them coming back to school really really well together and found time. And. Again at the owner of the clippers thank you so much stock to Karen have a great day we'll talk to you again.