WWL>Topics>>5-5 8:15am Tommy, living the life you want

5-5 8:15am Tommy, living the life you want

May 5, 2014|

Tommy talks to Caroline Miller, a certified professional coach & author of "Creating Your Best Life," about how to accomplish your life goals and live the life you want

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Me anyway a nine year old boy. -- -- born prematurely only weighed a pound in six ounces at birth. And unfortunately his vision continues to deteriorate and the doctors told him by the time he becomes an adult he's going to be completely blind. So what they've been doing his -- and donations so that he can complete his bucket list of things and he'd like to see before he can no longer see. And he's gone -- NASA he's gone today at the locker rooms some professional baseball clubs and we so in Escude is first of do you take the things that you have for granted. And what what is would be on your list of things that you would like to see. Or that you'd regret never being able to see. I guess before you closure rise one way or the other that you would either lose your sight or. Not be able to to to go because -- in Germany or maybe if you move on Caroline Miller joins us right now Caroline Miller is certified career coach. Author of creating your best life and an expert on goal accomplishment morning Carolyn how are you. -- great look at what a great topic at a great story. It it is a great story. Yeah and let me just -- not a clear cut Canada and the professional performance catching my. My -- specialty you know pretty lamented that the infection between -- accomplishment happiness and so. This Israeli right -- my wheel house. -- Topic and yet anyway what you what you're asking it to people take for granted what they have purchased equipment cap opportunities to appreciate life and yet it's. And happy people have what's called neighboring personality to take snapshots in their brains as things that are. The current around them because they want to remember them. If you -- the Olympic he conceded in real time when you keep people on the metal and they stopped internationally and they're looking around and you can choose either an MRI and life is it going on around them -- happy people need to learn to do that though they do it very naturally incident. This young apply. And how he does things that he wants to -- are giving him what's known in the world about its technology. And experience it. And these experiences. Are what we replay in mind that without sight because -- -- -- just all of the memory of -- proud absurd at a moment when they were you know look if somebody else for what it was doing. An experience that make us happier -- and that shouldn't have. To be able to help somebody had experiences that they can take mental snapshot that they can play for the rest their lives. And Bob as -- -- and that's definitely now we have. That's probably the most precious gift you could give anybody. You know aside and -- daughter's junior prom before and and -- something that is probably silly but anyway. You know I'd tell her whenever there's big event like this make memories and insert a heap of trouble would do anything bad. But genders and moments and so few of these opportunities come along in life you really do have to make the -- most of them I would think some people even when they're on vacation. They're they're so busy. Messing around with the luggage target and angry over this date they don't take full on advantage of what it is that they have all around them. Most people doubt there was people are looking around and like for hassle and -- kind of screening in the world for what what they don't pass. -- and happy people tend to have higher gratitude of course to -- grateful for what they have and they know when to let the little things out wouldn't get you can. You can learn I have a whole lot in my book creating about flights about not just have a -- -- achieve goals but also. How to learn the -- emotionally and physically the peace to people can learn to do better. The gratitude exercise three things I'm grateful for today why they have been -- that's the simple -- But they think it's -- -- interest -- work on people -- constantly dying and the number one regret that you find. It people who are at the end of their life looking back I think that the time is basically over. Is that they with somebody else's life that they didn't -- -- -- state wanted to lift. The very poignant. You know way to kind of look in life right now I'm living my life my living electric parents want me to live my spouse and children in my community of my religion or whatever. And if so I work with a lot of people all over the world -- accomplishments. And this is the main thing you need to ask people if you know argue -- -- the way if you want that if if not what do you regret not pursuing it. But let me pick it up here we come back Caroline we get a check traffic because. How do you draw the line because and you know and they shouldn't say it's easy to -- but. One -- lion air and it's all over -- and you say while it was shielded unnecessary what you done I could have done that in this comes of the balance that you teach. Well at the time you might not had the choice because you feel like well you know I gotta pay the bills I get negated genie in Johnny through school line gonna have someone drive to work so. We'll talk about a level we come back okay. But Caroline Miller our guest she's a professional performance coach and author of creating your best life and an expert on goal accomplishment. And what are some of the things that. You. With like deceit or do before it's too late and and how would you go about it Tommy Tucker back in a flashy 23 time -- traffic now and for that hurt the terror problem. -- tiger talking about that kind of inspiring story nine year old dead. Knows he's going blind zone they've put together a fund raising effort and he's trying to seal of the things that he wants to see before he can is no longer able to do that and whereas Kenyon T six 187. 866889087. Need to call in or text in. What one of the things you would love disease or regret. If you didn't get to see them and on my list I would like to see the great works of art in France I would like to go to the Vatican and in northern lights so I'm always -- to see those up close and personal -- closing -- Caroline. Miller -- performance. A professional performance coach joins us she's the author of creating your best life an expert on goal accomplishment. Caroline before we went to the break we're talking about you know people in hospice care saying they regretted this and regretted that but. It's easy I think to do that in hindsight. When you sometimes forget that -- got to live and -- pay the bills go to work etc. Like Kentucky that's just your professional career. And I I think their time to let it. I mean more performing at a providing Prius family where you you wish you. You -- I mean sometimes when you have kids a lot of your options go to the window. Well they did so but there's going it's interesting that the number one point 24 its -- In deal with either depression across the nation to begin to make a plan. And I think a lot of people could benefit from that -- -- to take a profession than the profession you wanna try out the condition that. Just basic and simple outlook -- need to do to get there you know begin to map that is it feasible is it reasonable look at night. You had talked it will give me that information but when you talk about and as the -- other people expected of me panel to pertain to the people each used to having your life. Sometimes it's the people you're married to -- -- -- because social contagion theory does predict that you become please spend time. And so you'll wanna take a look at my spending time with it if this is the life that I accused myself. It would have the hobbies -- I want what I wanna try to be actually try to become the tri athlete I. I -- competitively in Atlanta with a huge number of women were introduced to growing. The moment they are given a breast cancer diagnosis because they feel empowered by becoming athletes. And for the most part the generation that did not benefit for the title line so contains happened it becomes empowered. It begins to feel like an athlete and then they're also will definitely in the -- -- the typical pregnancy if strengthening their chest walls since. So I think Kentucky that a lot of things here. Where would you go if you want to go to each -- every summer if you wanna -- -- it goes in great works -- Europe I'm. It is that so many different ways it's people's hands. Flourish emotionally better in the lot where they're living in this changes can be subtle. They can be -- they can -- large but definitely different and so. I really challenged people that say if you were to let's say wake up tomorrow let's collectively exceed what would you be doing different. It seems that. That goes to did you have a couple more minutes -- -- -- -- because this to me is how do you balance that because. The the age old question is if you were to know that you only had four months left will would you do but I think it would be a different thought process then. You got a plan on long terms they get a pay the mortgage got to do they she got to do that and I'm not trying to be pessimistic and trying to make this. Easier for people to understand because I think a lot of people. And correct me if I'm wrong. Passively live their lives and accept whatever -- they're gone through and an unhappy but they just don't do anything about it. Most people reacted. Only about 20% of people been shown to be proactive which is equal the flourishing. But there are many things you can get -- exercise them -- I'm glad we got to separate out is can we pick it up when we come back yet we -- iPhone lines are open it's 6018780386688908. Senate. And is fascinating because a lot of people think happiness is elusive and I think they'll never do this and never do that and and maybe you can we'll find out from Carolyn Miller when we come back right now. -- at W helpers there isn't that we go to tasteless and Caroline Miller I guess David professional performance coach and we're talking about that is great story nine year old. Told is to be blinded by the timing is an adult so. He's seen some things and and checking them off of his bucket list before he cannot any longer see it all and -- David of the -- back to Caroline if there were. Some things on your list that you wanted to see Aaron the anyway our allies great -- China. Now I had well I wouldn't mind seeing very well China I may wanna go to Europe and just to undergo -- You know. Just do everything I want to do very and I wanna do Scotland and Scandinavia. And you know why does everything with you involves going crazy. -- is always a wild element to everything you do instead of doing three countries I'd probably like to through ten you know them. A party with you cowboy I get a text here about. Not necessarily places would be an iconic events which Vegas or at places and wanna see the ball drop in. New York City -- They wanna be there in Indiana and New Year's Eve of course and wanna be there in Indianapolis when the guy says. Gentlemen start your engines the Indy 500 coming up of course I want to go to Wimbledon did they go those kind of -- to us. And answer Caroline Miller is -- Telus may be -- you can accomplish those things are. Are you setting goals and achieve and Emma -- Caroline Miller by the where professional performance coach and she's author of creating your best life. And how do you go about getting that -- the book is it on Amazon.com. And always place. Yeah it is that it did very popular book it's even not achieving used in -- university family and at that textbook because it's it's. When it came out early 2009 it was the first goal accomplishment that that actually had researching evidence and it's. Because until then people rely on the secret thinking if he just want it badly enough that happened which just isn't true on torture. So now it is true. What is true when it comes to or -- heaving your goals in ninety it's not just enough to want it you have to actively do something -- This goes to the heart -- how hard appeal people willing to how comfortable are you willing to be because. At the end of the day whether people know it or not they began scared that he's fitting their product and the things that you're proud. I think he did outside their comfort zone and so when it comes to call for adding. Beat the calls that tend to get the biggest adopted the ones that are caught challenging physics so you made them uncomfortable in pursuit of those goals and can't comfortably on the differently to could be comfortable in approximately could be comfortable physically. Most people including the new millennial generation coming into the work force. They're considered at least greedy generational kind of a lot of that they were grown that the grown -- thinking about the winner they would have with the winner. So it's just not. It's just not. Accurate to say that everybody wants what date. Want to get what date cat that you have to be willing to work hard and -- it is the measure of whether you're going to hang in there over a long period of time that. Just one spectacle setting the most people don't call. I'm -- that majority of people that we were saying before the break every active -- wake -- -- it basically do what confront them. What was left under the previous day. But we knew when you look at the most successful people happy people. Wake up everyday -- clear cut personal I mean short term and long tentacles but how many of -- actually fiscal. Not so you start by just coming up with what is that -- do -- that it was elected he'll want to leave behind. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- It's about choices and people need to change the behavior that it's the legacy that were relieved that personally professionally. Is one. Fighting human nature or the other going along with human nature in terms of -- being active verb reactive or proactive accepting the circumstances saying your comfort zone there's one lend itself to. The basic nature that we all have as humans. Well I think that tend to the Haiti and not everyone of course but. Suggested that they'll be comfortable and they don't want to disappoint themselves that they that what's called it goaltending -- local technical. Because frankly it's waking -- I didn't even tried and I didn't know. That's that's where most people set. Now there is an issue around will power and self regulation and and we used to put that more. And as that technology and life has given us more what we want you know lunch -- tasteless and Botox and you know text messaging teetering atop continuing need to get these instant text messages. What they found that people have a terrible time these states and and now. And so if you can't delay gratification. You really can't do -- east you know typical growth in particular. So that you can learn to have more webpart do addressed that creating your past life on their very. Validated evidence basically to do it but the people like to get in contention I want what they want when -- want and it built on an -- knows it and now. And I talk in creating -- like I opened chapter six with pat really famous marshmallow experiments from 1960 -- Asking it to fifteen minutes he hadn't -- -- and and they said if you can wait fifteen minutes people get too -- -- And the problem is about 60% of the kids could play the other 40% could not fifteen years later -- indicated. That Miller SAT scores that more addiction and -- You know worked friendship -- -- relationship with elders the ones who could not who could not wait to people who cannot say -- -- themselves. Starting early with his full. Were found to have. We don't work out content just about every aspect of like fifty years later and even fifteen years more divorces -- job stability and so on and so forth. For the -- been teaching children to wait for what they want it to giving him on it and get -- and I founder. Mark our -- territory or whatever you do to help people learn we open our and that's just not happening in the country unfortunately. You also have to go for your kids so I -- a lot of different. It can't think of something happening -- we got acquitted in the country's huge problem. Caroline -- -- the Michael is -- and I'm being serious when I say this my goal is to have you on every so often because I guarantee. What you do is said made so much common sense to 99% of the audience. Every two months every month outcome on them if you know the -- that. Information because it is incredibly important. To note that the fundamental physical accomplishment which ought to be -- in every single elementary school. In the country if not the world because that you can't set accomplish goals you you had never. Gonna find out what you're capable. And they're referring to and that's why at this time the secret because. It's not with victory and not hocus pocus. There's real evidence to whether or not you you can actually do things you want to do it. And there are ways to do it and there are many ways to improve your odds of six -- and so. My my calling that thing that I more than anything is teaching people these tools so. -- -- come on every couple months if you know -- I love for that to happen thank you so much Caroline Miller professional performance coach. And you can pick up the book creating your best life and -- -- -- accomplishment and any book out with.

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