WWL>Topics>>5-22 7:10am Tommy, late start parenting

5-22 7:10am Tommy, late start parenting

May 22, 2014|

A CDC study indicates more and more women are opting to have their kids later in their lives. What’s too young, or too old for a woman to have kids? What about men FATHERING children? Is there such a thing as an IDEAL age? Tommy talks to Dr. Martin Drell Professor and Head of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry at the LSUHSC School of Medicine.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

So into Asia and I heard about that is the first birth rate for women aged forty to 44 which means the first on him maybe. Has more than doubled since 1990. And women ages forty to 44 -- rather. 35 to 39 it's up 24%. From 2000 to 2012. I was so we talk about this what's what do you think is the best age to be a parent does it matter in -- from the woman's standpoint that. About being a dead just he's you can does that mean you should bother child. Martin wrote on center right now professor and head of child and adolescent psychiatry ideally you Health Sciences Center school of medicine. And a friend of -- morning acted well good morning thanks for taking the time -- this tell me about the the birth rate and women and hold and on and do you have any idea why that is and and what are some of the big challenges involved for a woman who -- so she's 4044 and a child. I I think in some ways this is due to changes in our culture. They're certainly economic changes there's changes in the that have been brought about by -- in the making demands on one woman I think they should do there's more chances of having to work as a woman that thirty years ago and sent some women who. Want to establish their career and then have children. Are waiting longer and longer in there are times in which you if you go to Tampa -- be locked people think here. Stepping off. You know the career trajectory. To do that so I think. These decisions that are really individual decisions based. Where person at what they want in their lives. Who they're married or wins and their job aspirations. In all that being said. It would seem like in you know whether it's China. Or poppy and I'm not trying to compare -- to a lot of energy is needed to take care of either and if you NT forty of 44 years that was senior career. I don't know do do older women necessarily have the energy that younger women do when he comes -- keep been guaranteeing your children or does the maternal instinct take him. I think there is the maternal and staked but there's also the sense that there's wide variations. There's some very energetic 44 year old. And I think the main issue is are they ready. Do they have their stuff together and have they thought through what a challenge the new patriots. Really the research shows that. Having a baby even in the strongest relationships with the strongest people. Really changed things around deter it a crisis that you really have to read or to your life. Some people. Although and you don't mean a pejorative league dear -- your -- crisis that it's just it just upsets everything I mean and and not bit upset but just turns everything on its. And that's it takes a lot of time and energy to put into a child. I think it makes a difference what resources people there's a lot of people. Using daycare it depends what your support system is if you have a a family member or you know grandma aunts and stuff like that to help -- take care. Of the child. I think there's all sorts of differences secure and single. Woman. Without support without a lot of money. It's going to be much more difficult. I think to you -- look down the line in the you know the G if you -- -- -- when -- forty story to be 54 child is ten right and then 59 when the child is fifteen and don't build a parent's have a -- time relating to the younger kids. That they have -- is it better if the would be easier if 32 year old has a baby and and at a time she's still forty -- the child will be you know what a teenager. I think that's -- continuum and again based on the people involved. The idea of having him mature human being. Who love Hewitt wants you and is therefore you. Probably a good thing regardless of what ages. Certainly at the younger age there's. The idea of babies having babies. You know young kids having babies and they just start at the mature states that don't have their stuff together. To really take care of themselves and other human being. -- it did -- my experience I think I was better becoming apparent in my mid to late thirties because. I think I was more mature I I hopefully was wise and was able to. Not react out of emotionally came to my daughter and logic in the U keep -- right patents that are any. I indication I know it all comes down individuals that generally speaking that older younger parents. Do better with the children or the children turn out better perhaps. I think they probably turn out differently. And that is clearly is whether a person is in quotes mature. Which is the ability to. Take care of themselves to think through things to plan. Two insecure relationships and have the picture and resources to raise the child. Really love is not laughs and a lot of people think that children will make their lives different. It's very positive ways without putting the the work into it and there are often very unhappy. But as far as age. Again where. Going through a lot of changes people are living world. So the idea is that the average person or is it a little while longer so it used to be oh boy if you have acutely you're going to be and you know when they're teenagers -- don't think that's true right now so. Things keep on changing the idea of how many babies to have is -- has been changing to so there's less children. The war. People have more resources and it's expensive to raise kids colleges going up. And that in some ways. People are having less kids. Mostly because that makes the most sense. Would you balance all the things that you need to balance. Back to drill I appreciate you taking the time with us is always be a good day thank you that doctor Martin -- professor had a child and adolescent psychiatry. At the LSU Health Sciences Center school of medicine's on being honest here money. Let me ask you would would you be or have been a better parent of Hewitt had a child at a different stage in line for do you think you had the child. At the right agent and a get a text that comes in here that says. -- when parents have kids when -- battled they don't get to see their kids grow up by the time the kids when he five. They're seven years old I think this is extremely selfish on the parents part. Another one says we had kids and our early twenties now fifties enjoying grand kids. So like to know from UT six -- 187 it'll create 66889087. Does -- matter how old the parents of the child or are. And what about in your house my parents were. Thirty is still a bit older and I think sometimes it you know hurt because they they thought that some of the things I wanted to do. Was limited to modern middle of it to current and I've tried not to make that mistake with my daughter talking about the right age to have kids is there one as a matter of the mother the father result or how young is too young held as too old. And they you know lady is probably a little -- be father and a child but that's just my opinion Richard -- good morning -- -- WL. Denmark and got a question -- -- what are -- ordered tool to adopt a child. Yeah I think I think if if both the viewer in diapers at the same time that maybe a little to always think. Thanks so yeah. The problem that all of the question -- Smart growth and job where I thought they call this stage at stake and how away somewhat. And it's either adopt out of the job -- the ball long and Foster care. You see your adopting your grandchild. Her Richard let me tell you -- -- I think it started about twenty years ago and messages. Anecdotally this is not any statistics or anything. There are so many grandparents taking care of grandkids right now that they have become. The de facto parents you know -- -- rated doing now. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Iberia I don't know but I tell you this that. You know people hear me talk about my daughter and know how I feel let's and it sounds like you that way with your children to an idea grandchild you know that's. That's everything man and get them ready for life and given them what they need that that's basically what you live rent. Currently that's part about it. It ordered. It has -- reflection only because with the right IQ. Not. I just done about it is you know. A parent can -- -- decide -- -- things more important and you know Robert god bless you what you -- on up to that. At duke right you gotta thank you Richard -- -- are you. UBE -- deities and there are some health concerns and now motto one element as a child older but. Did the number of women that are Wheaton and Taylor forty. The 44 year olds 4044 years old in their first child more than doubled since 1990. So if you -- 44 and you have a child that means you're 54 when their ten. And and one at 159 when their fifteen. And will bring in -- into it and a second but I know the mother daughter dynamic can be different and different cult. And I think I found -- could be better for. Forty year old to be reacting would lose or interacting with a fifteen year old glorious. It would be better for 59 year old to be interacting with a fifteen year old now now now I I think. Probably if you -- fifty and I don't know look -- that dame biology and enough women are capable of that are not but. I think fifties probably the cut off. I would think ideally now Seattle lot to and -- you know each individual case is different but I'm saying generally speaking I would think. Fifty would be about the cut off Kazan you be 65 when he -- it is says fifteen -- And seems so little off Nan so OC 260187. Neitzel 386 exit 8908 senate. -- Vinny Giles good morning on -- WL. A couple or. -- there. -- our -- that would almost a solo. Thanks to what -- -- to. Shall now under salute our arch -- -- -- -- a brawl. There -- -- marriage -- shall I start chebaa. -- -- just interrupt for a second what amuses me is sometimes. A man has a family and gets is heads and look I'm just talking generally speaking a man has a family enhances head turned by a younger women a woman rather. And he night engage in some behavior that he shouldn't. Anything said it's all parties and leaders failing behind but then when he when he does it marries a girl first -- she -- to do is have kids -- -- right query started. You know you. Well no law -- Or. -- and -- -- know it's not -- to -- Not I'm sure but. On our our. -- -- -- distort or or a note shall. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Oh. Joke. Or potential. To actually. Call our. Search or. So. So -- -- these younger. You know. So they younger spouse serves as a liaison Thomas between yield a parent child. -- Judge just. All across. Each -- of interest. Or -- Some of the year as well requirements to screen gore do you really look at until. Opt out there and all but. I don't know how -- -- Well do. You agree. All gone to -- you are pretty jaguar being in Poland Jim hands those story. Do they care about whether apparent smoke or not. I don't know but I don't -- -- -- Church such. Yes or. No. An option. As it is payment China where smoking not necessarily although they they are trying to get people quit now and unnecessarily looked upon as a Bandana and maybe they feel a little way on and I even if you talk about China Madonna and lady called don't give a great day. They are you bet -- 601878. Toll free 8668890. Late seventy. Running in the plaza we try to get to using you know a -- for too long the morning was up. Yeah good morning on our own candidate. We're not strong. -- would -- cute I was torn in different little. That seems to be about did. Average age I would think -- Right right there. Right now he's making an. Angel in the market -- -- -- 23 in June. And I mean you're immigrant kids. Well what you or Richard because. It is going to be eighteen I'll read columns job he'll. It's funny so if you really if you had to say from the way it turned out for you. It's when he knows about the right age 2930. Play that started in the book derided because you -- Jordan open your -- single angle toward the right and the child will be very reason. Probably would have been deployed and are there certain games you need to be keen towards our. I let me assure -- about the upper and David tool that. 5067. -- Well vehicles sometime and we that would give it to look at each shared in all acting read in the chair I'll put it. And each fact and agreed that job so. Updated in the Jeep vehicles aren't great the chart review all criminal that you -- their job. And you can bring you their child and you give them enough blow Stanley Cup would be different because when a choppy -- love and -- Feel like he'll be able to get a job and everything should work well. In the very near future lesion that will be a call or a marketing issue the problem. What -- -- services. I think -- and you adopted a child and skated toward Google. Get bigger problems. United had the energy -- real quick on a lighter note. What's more trouble. And more work for the spurs still on and -- five weeks in new -- our -- our baby. Due course. Yeah it's built up to it but the -- sometime ago. The island and you've got their due up eleven at night -- radical change your diet fruits and -- and -- debating. But but but at least -- to keep bringing a baby outside running. Have a good day I. They colonized between forty and 44 the number of women since 1990 that it waited until then they have their first Al. Has doubled Cy Young is too young how old is too old notches for the women. But for the men a father child. And regulating holly would you how long would you put it off holly would you wait to have a child -- would you ever consider. Being a surrogate mother for somebody who can't have children or maybe even your own daughters that's. Biologically possible I guess it is Stacy left he had good morning aren't -- a WL thanks for calling. -- -- -- wouldn't recommend and that I speak a lot and -- are wanna be on a day at eight -- day. I am -- And it happened I -- And I pop on at that I was acting as a dominant it played my career I had spent. We passed it got my cabinet in -- school cannot elect groups are right -- are better I would ten and fifteen years ago. Well -- may -- -- my own day in my own life I was determined because I grew up toward I'll admit that but. That I knew there is Libya house there's going to be a yard there's going to be. Enough money for school enough money for this company for that before I would brainchild in the the world because I felt an awesome sense of responsibility about that but that being said. I also think it's about love and a child about not being selfish I think. For me it was better and as a my late thirties. -- actually came from very simple. Mean when I was young and I appreciate much worn out and I heard it right we need it we didn't have a lot you know and looking back and I allowed to -- with that meets main thing. And I think it would be and it hit my daughter Mary -- like where are no matter what part mark Staten Island are back at. It would only -- That and -- parity. Email her and began but there are I -- and it may be there we are art and yen -- an agent that has the ability. And that and that and that -- -- back our our that we wouldn't. All arch at the added that the mom and I'm why do you think about. -- now we're very you know I'd be much younger I would get like -- -- I. -- I mean ain't IL LP LY. I'll be here a long time and and I played it. But. And -- when it all work out fine. Actually I think etiquette parent or -- -- Out as a career high eighty. How ought not to worry about. Let me tell you why you Pozen because you know you're loving little nine year old girl unconditionally. And you think and now probably Cyrus photo of scenery there to handle under the same and doesn't -- -- changed is that do you think and why and I and I. I they see will were running late I'm so glad you called in -- be called back right I shaky at night Bernanke.

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