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WWL>Topics>>7-7 9:10am Tommy, tipping and kids vs. no kids

7-7 9:10am Tommy, tipping and kids vs. no kids

Jul 7, 2014|

Tommy talks to Dr. Karen Ruskin, a license marriage and family therapist, about some comments Cameron Diaz made about not having kids

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

We'll continue our conversation about tipping and we're gonna start on with kids and something Cameron Diaz said that. And I and I had a talk about this story on our website. We. You know where to start with this and home mom now you are -- another one you were going to mention -- guys 56 years old I guests and he's asleep at 3 o'clock in the morning and you're somebody bang and on the dual war. Witches I guess this -- is the -- that was bang and it was better is ex girlfriend's house -- There's some bang and -- -- is allegedly some banging on the door some -- 3 o'clock. The guy that's in custody was angry at that apparently. And he says he went outside -- handgun and and the 29 year old that was Macon Illinois want to -- And this guy a he shoots the 29 year old and they had. -- Carlos is is named as suspects and I got a 29 year old dead. You got. Carlos in jail charged with second degree murder for which if you're convicted you go to jail rescue alive -- over banging on a door. Yes it's about yeah you do because you just it. It doesn't seem there's any spot. Two punishment or whatever I don't know my view. But the idea of having to be locked up for the rest of my life. Is terrifying. And you know I was twenty. It would be mean that much more terrified mind -- I'd want is -- relief that now oh exactly and yeah I mean that disrespectfully ourselves is is just crazy yeah -- right and it happens with road rage all the time where people get so angry to each -- and they -- drive and like crazy with kids in the car maybe. One thing get out and fight each other and -- and just. Take a breath you know consequences. Anywhere there's a kind of slowly comes into the mind -- you think in you know the if if I do this workers is an end -- -- -- enough lights above discouraging -- I'd better not do that I currently that just doesn't happen. And then it's no emotion thank you David we Cameron Diaz as. Says in an interview that not having kids makes life a lot easier. An -- pretty jaguar being new people can you handle full life without kids. 100%. Of those that have answered the poll -- WL nine dollars saying no. I think it all depends on uses mine in my opinion and and I know I could not have had a full life. Without it a child. So doctor Karen Ross influences right now licensed marriage and family therapist and author of among other things done things rather -- to Cairns. Marriage manual morning dot. Let's get a hand you witness telling you about. Kids and parents and people lives or maybe even if you're not married. You know personal perspective on the right. How old life. And -- the parent electoral really. As our own -- so actually. My -- her only for work. It Koppel. At all there are people what they find full life. Without kids and a lot of people more people than not that. It really -- Q what do you feel is well it's free. You're much more into your cell. -- being more you could actually feel awful right. Without yet because you're seeing in your career. Focusing on your relationship adult subject of irony. -- -- Opera you all should not many people should say. Me feel real lot -- -- and penal and a whole lot not a whole life it you don't. Me and Cheney should be able to. -- and share that. The thing that I notice and again this is just me is I never thought I could love. Anything or anybody is unconditionally as I do. My daughter and you know I'm not unique a lot of people feel that way about the kids but have you ever. Had a patient and a -- of violating confidentiality. Here. They came and said quite frankly in his Family Guy episode where. Peter thinks the world is ending so he comes in right before the world -- -- you know I'd blow us all love you but the kids that'll come. Bomb it and then come to find out the world doesn't end and he's got some explaining to do but. Have you ever had clients or patients that have said. You know one died and it days when you and me. I'll like him it's of it's an overwhelming burden Alicia never had a. It's not. Global something that will be confidential to people talk about. It speaking on -- one on. In particular and providing. Information and thank you court I'm looking for that answer that question absolutely our clients that feel overwhelmed and -- in. I tell you that any time somebody had a child. I sit in it they they are glad they had that child in fact when. There are other things -- that that are hurting and there. And get a divorce there marriage. Is normally goes it happened in the one thing at the -- It was worth being in that relationship that there I'd be without even that's an interesting -- -- And combination platter between feeling overwhelmed. And you can record there at eight. Your children. While they. I I'd definitely in the combination. Now in there. People people who really was eating -- children and do children here are things. -- Not work and the people's. I guess what I'm wondering is. If people regret having children is it because it takes away from them or is it because they get so overwhelmed. But the prospect of providing form. People because attractive having children absolutely. Our ability and she needs to provide tremendous need in the air and I tell you. -- The level. What -- -- confront that reality by acknowledging and self. That they wish they never have it sometimes. That there be somebody that people that would block. Feeling out at the level dipping my books and rabbit out of -- the most by connecting their children rapid. Acknowledging to themselves. They're feeling that you might accept a out in the heat or -- rabbit and actually hearing and verbally acknowledge that. Will would you say -- a couple. That is either considering marriage or god forbid didn't have this conversation before. One once did one doesn't in general and generally speaking now. Is it primarily the women that. Pushed the man along because feeling if it was strictly up to men to procreate. With the -- you know with the idea of having children money money issues that disclaimer I don't. -- the population would have would have become extinct -- time because sometimes. You don't think. In that. Vehicle. I think that's the area -- He. That men are also there all at the well. B duke on -- not burning back continues onward. After a year Long Island is an incredible. Emotional. Staying and the fact is that many. Children. On the mini but it shall. It's incredible -- definitely. They men or women out there -- That one in -- so don't count. Com and the fact -- Challenge for a couple want her want and other. Shall overtime where -- with the wind and all people -- children. Shall overtime. Or. You know -- -- I. Definitely important. -- chances they still going into the marriage. Wondered I want that I didn't hear. About how to enter the change that but the some people change. Yeah. -- It when it comes into the fact of of having a child in morning they have more money isn't about. Heritage is about somebody to keep you company when you get old -- extending your lineage would do -- wouldn't when -- get right down to it would result. Right down to it it's just that. -- Saying they say. They she and him. To want you here. -- -- -- -- Eighteen. Eerie you know parent the -- The intensity in the direction and go on for. Being somebody. In hat trick from -- Incredible. Special black really comes down to Jeff and me. Longing and desire not all people trap that the overwhelming majority. So I think that the majority that they're -- -- from people who -- an actual because. Your quote unquote. -- -- All. That drawn. An early age that you learn. -- people go through the -- because. You're a -- The overwhelming majority there in. Desired she might be -- and -- can and back. Little per cent. Let me ask you one more thing before we let you go and it goes to shore a conversation where -- before about. Guy in Saudi Arabia in the cultures different there but but on his wedding night. As a gift in quotation marks. His wife's former boyfriend gave. -- thumb drive of his life. Doing some pretty nasty things and and as a result he divorced or that night so when it comes to histories. Dating histories is it better make a full. And open disclosure so that there are no secrets or is it bettors say you know what. I don't know about you. Yeah I won't tell you about me because neither one of us knew each other analysis going on. All depends on the couple there are people who experience the party. Feeling when they understand the person's background. And they're able to look I'll be -- the information they formed an for the -- -- but there are other people that. Will mean. The background can actually be. Like traumatic. Event and they felt having flashes. There and then out. Being the perfect in the past. I don't buy sell T and you know -- -- -- -- you come back. And you can really about me now is the better you need to know. How to beat back and not now that the electorate. You know well out there -- normal healthy. And typical Koppel in colonial and we certainly don't know it. And we are skeptical I'm getting bill -- -- -- -- -- -- -- If dating in the street -- very quickly into the back of the green energy needs all the time -- -- there aren't getting to know each other. Getting to know each other ones now. 11. That means eat it. But what if what if it's an equitable and make a baseball analogy here what if one of them -- in the RA of one point oh and the others. Is the others like 39 is a cause a problem. Back to the couple. Somebody might be angry gel in my feel comfortable. That folks. They might even if they're out there a way they knew they -- -- -- did you miss you Mary Lee did. Which which really know right out and eat and -- I chipped in terms of what you think he should actually know. So knowing who are injured. At. They note of reality of war and feel like you work it would be if you think being. Because. Of the reality of colonial war. A lot for lack. -- will act like you know. I mean not like. How you -- a lot in. -- -- in the future -- -- you can acting and not something that is. And this rabbit. -- but. When you're out in the week that. -- can get our act. And it's gonna be. Really coming the other things that are going to come up. The problem for your -- can expect in the Alley who work. I don't know are you Sheldon raises the tonne in the orchestra has begun but again -- you real quick. What -- what it what if that there was some cheating going on on either person's part and all of a sudden you know that this story was yet to divorces and -- luck and then well why did why did you get divorced while I cheated on my wife and then. Did that build your new wife finds this out they can't be a good thing Canada's that a prediction of future behavior. Com might not eaten bowl and and the predictor of each behavior might not -- -- should be here are found. Kerry beat it again there we dealt. We got to run thank you so much in -- -- in loans and in studio. Karen Ruskin -- -- -- and -- therapists author doctor Cairns marriage manual here or would she had this they tell me. If he would have a full life without children back in a flash and a VW you know Davidson's I've gotten back from Ireland sent coffee had been drinking meet today. Who. Meet today military -- meet tank meets today. My AT home ice. Those irony today I drank in my ten IE. And entering and it like crazy let me tell you the good thing about this is if it gets cold. The it's not like coffee where it's disgusting and and younger guys are -- yeah exactly might. Beautiful it was say this every time you give the Wall Street report I the other day you know you kids get summer reading list speaking about him and -- big name bookstores on agony in the name of it. Courses only one left but. We're in line for thirty minutes trying entered to order these books have find out where they are in Vietnam. There's only know one customer service -- -- point -- -- and it would go to check out in Portland in line forever is -- one person check in now. But then -- realize the business model of this company. Easy and go in there and take a block off the shelves. And sit down and loudly comfortable chair and read it for free and not spend a die if not then but if you wanna. If you want to buy a book. Then there's only one person in LP and it's about a foot on the drug very Asia at least effect crazy I had done nine cents at tech this company's stock started at 33 back in like I guess 93 assembling an instrument when he won -- that's. Man I just don't get that business model at all yelled get bad explain it to me you go and there you sit -- big plush comfortable chairs. Grant whatever you want off the rack read it put it back don't put in the bathroom notes that'll -- flag. But then if you wanna buy something spend an hour and I don't get help Melvin has been waiting to tell us about tipping Melvin before we get. To that do you understand this bookstore model at all. The business -- On -- -- Melvin. But do you get that -- go in and read whatever you want since it on the coyotes the chairs and hang out and put the book bank but if you wanna buy one. It takes an hour does that make sense to you as a businessperson. No they're not coming not at all perhaps it's part of current administration's plan to. Make New Orleans the most literate city in America. Maybe that's it maybe I should look added as a stockholder maybe I should look at it. The big picture Melvin had a you know what if people are reading god bless -- just let memory of eleven dummy about tipping. Well I just wanted to real quickly the last caller got to -- rescue it from Ruskin makes a really good points are awesome spot talent. Before he had to go to break time and you ask me and I did I ever stick annual again. We'll start all over Melvin years did you said your black man in the military. You would you like tip on service right. That is correct quality of service. And I didn't -- thirteen and 18%. Again based on target now. Actually questions concern sticking to what we've got wrecked or on -- And -- must point out how to bring on the point that the waitress was white and the -- -- it's not good. We were sitting there for at least fifteen minutes be forced to well -- So perhaps another team to twenty minutes for the order a lie in -- system overall attitude. I'd be a tip or not only based on the amount of the tip -- equality. But quality -- the food was decent. With that to reflect back on and earlier policy. If that late trains were to be. Saturday she'd probably say black people don't ship. That's based on Vietnam that I. And I don't speak much else. Outlook that -- at the quality of the service you provide. I look at it why not happy all normal life as (%expletive) on occasion you must. Pat Hill pollution going through this morning what is what is happening in Ireland and -- being in the lot of outreach that. The reality is cheap and the food industry we are customers. And that in their expectations. I expect that -- she expects the decent tip. Well it certainly didn't typically marked it again ideally like it to be 1618. Promise you you remember this case back in 9293. Times. A look at the Secret Service in -- restaurant I'm not gonna call me names came. In here yes -- allied. They got reports here right in 1992 and while running track with a lot -- expressed track we view edit the Indian act. And I tell you walk in there we see it way back that clock apart it's that she didn't back. And I'm not exaggerating it took about twenty minutes before the waitress even came to ask you one thing to drink. And two the bottom line is we were seeing. -- forty minutes well -- And she had -- -- and that you selected certain. -- what did they put the automatic tip on it because there's evidence. Etiquette or. -- because you know -- I tipped it pretty generously in -- you know 11. This year my daughter for birthday one to go to an opera and steak house and and we took a group of people. And it's it was more a lot of people. Would ever spent going out and you know not a wealthy guy and things as well my daughter wanted to do. But the service was not really that great and I felt as though if I didn't leave a tip then. I would be perceived as. As he somehow but you know like -- had a -- in my drink refilled a couple of times and I'm just -- -- -- killed here so -- ever left the tip because you felt. Almost obligated to do so. Yes -- -- on a number vocation. But tell me my preference is Cheap -- well understand. Waiters and waitresses in the food industry. I wanna chipping well but also like it when I get that circuits. And it doesn't happen. On occasion. What you're talking reading and it's almost in terms of constructing and -- said this before -- I'll be in the in the supervision business I wished it judges. And whatever on the price of the food and and let them supervisor -- -- they do not seriously what you're -- It's like you said -- do wanna raise an employee evaluation every tiny. It's like bullets he did a good job with that not that you could do better witness in the previous 15% raise. I hate that man and your own stamp on much of -- it is. And and we're finished you know -- issues seriously Melvin. And you know on that black and white but. Although if you look at -- needs DNA who knows and I say that because do you automatically -- successful guys serve the country. On Arab League when something like that happens to you is that prism through which you look at it okay it is happening because black. Is it happening is your wife said because the servers and -- bad day is there a default or do you judge each instance. Individually or try to do that. On the Italian. I. Do not like using the race color. -- will put it out hate using the rate I feel like Indian. So would people million black it and I -- so silly to talk about this like home -- not old enough. You know pat of colors where OK you're you're autumn days so I liked her -- Like I don't like on can hang out with you but I'm just heard people automatically no you're black -- if they think you could be some denials. No I don't think there's any mistake it might and it's clear that I'm black and our options between you real quickly election I want to Haitian and Dominican Republic and some of the waiters and where workers there. Walked up to actually -- why you network so yes function. Some relief help the patient -- -- was that we were -- so if that helps to answer your question to you get references to. Against the skin complexion. Let -- makes any difference. -- and I was playing golf with my boss at an opera and country club and hands me the same thing. You don't need you to go to the bags Chirac did get a yeah. The league in what to say this quickly. Actually and it's real quick idea. My daughter Lowell who's saying it would -- -- peaceful okay are -- see. Certainly without a doubt it and they'll quality like. I have three kids two boys and girls she's like yeah it's. And that the -- up this morning the chance that the bullet not yet taken its time getting ready to try to drag out political he's thrown about her. She -- abortion movement say they're OK guys let me see -- smile and what they gave like what she'd do. But I know as low as -- -- -- -- in so little chance that the thought she'd love your -- We have just been relaxed and laughed at -- -- those. Adults who do not -- Egypt. To be able to see. An extension on your cell -- apartment itself. -- and different personalities watched him grow richer. It'd be on war now on the war. Thank you so much for -- -- for hang in on and for channel -- -- visiting a -- for you right here. Yeah. Well and play. -- T each or -- A lowly mentality -- -- back in the second under the W well. -- Tucker got WL we have talked about a lot of things morning and covered a lot of ground in. -- -- opinion poll asking you can you have a full life without kids 76% of viewers saying yes and I get when you're younger you can travel around and indeed do you want go to dinner -- to dinner more about home market go see this part of the world that part of the world. Think Cameron Diaz and it's a much more work to have children have lives besides her on the you're responsible for. I didn't take then on didn't make things it did make things easier for me baby and it's all day every day for eighteen years. Not having a baby might really make things easier but that doesn't make it an easy decision. And I just wonder when she gets older -- that people don't have children when they get older. If they feel as though their life is lacking anything mystery man -- -- and talk about tipping played on your under the WL. And what about army that borrow yen and talk to you again. The park Bible right quick shout at -- already pole yet it's it's quicker pit people. Don't realize it. You don't experience to love and the amateur hour at most people wanna receive true. Which will love you and as well. I don't -- -- let me let me just jump in here for a second I think -- -- -- because it's not about responsibility it's about -- me. Loving so unconditionally do you want to do everything you can. Right I agree that you -- -- -- field day. You up on one more years ago you read and a wife husband. So Wichita. Our a tablet. About it much Ali -- It is only need to manipulate and secondly. It -- millions and the self sacrifice you like to see them. Exactly but now on our -- on the dated. Think that the tipping it -- saying when he stated. I think that -- He'll he'll be in some by the crowd and gallery will what I will see it I think the table because. Are you this free it's more likely to get to tell but the fact of the matter. You got there you can travel different roles so I think that this has ordered all because that quite ignorant I'll point out. -- -- We don't make it the year is the year that we went English right -- we think about it we would still fight we quantity to use it to be tribal police. Before we even knew anything about Japan -- until now what that means stated that. -- on toppled now be able to point -- Bible plate is we are educated in net skills of a lack of education are out feel. But -- -- see at the site has been on the -- -- disciplined waiters and and that part got a tilt so on the import service. -- know that we ought to -- import service because they did you know. So would not have back and -- so you want about it improperly expedition I want a -- equality certain cycle we have right right right so my thing -- I think. We just saw the issue that the plane at double. You put a button on the table and that -- at the -- tap that button. Everytime he comes to that table and it. Should be his arm -- -- -- there. People about it being you know the minute that the twenty minutes Eagles -- it at the -- Maybe mr. mandating distressed but if you need some. That to what I want Eddie Youkilis podshows it was raised the flag maybe you supplement nicer than that. Mr. mayor real quick he said it's gotten out of hand if you're at at at a fast food place and got to tip cup out. And you're in front of me on behind you whatever it is that these same thing when it but the point is this I'd leave a tip and you don't. Or you leave a tip and I donor neither one of us leave a tip do you think it's going to be a black guy never tips and I get a pass because some white -- he's done. Well I'm -- that question goes well I think so great arm arms to be honest. I don't think that will look at that we -- that they probably not. But I think if you turn it was cool real restaurant setting that could be -- -- quickly ago do you Tippett says the diseases -- on hand. That's you know been on -- -- -- now that to benefit who forgot to thank you mr. -- coming back under the W.

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