WWL>Topics>>7-24-14 3:10pm Angela: on men against domestic violence

7-24-14 3:10pm Angela: on men against domestic violence

Jul 24, 2014|

Angela talks with Cory Turner of the Engaging Men Project and Pam Albers of the New Orleans Family Justice Center about why men don't speak out against domestic violence.

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

I'd like to thank the up Marine Corps and the US army. For sending two of their best I love that last hour and I'm very encouraged you listen to those. Two great young men who are now career military people how proud they are and how proud they make us. But the issue we talked about is serious and that is we need to get people in shape too because we need a great -- great military green Marine Corps. And but as long as it got those two I think. I think we're in good hands. We're not gonna talk about something and talk about flipping the page here. We live in a violent community and there's no debating that. But violence against women is no longer being hidden. Women's groups and organizations. Are there to help. But where are the man who a horror violence against women -- their voice. The majority of men are against this kind of behavior but why aren't they leading the way telling the men who duper women that it won't be tolerated. That's the essence of a program being created by the New Orleans family justice center galvanizing men against violence against women. And here to talk about it is Cory turner. A volunteer at the engaging men project and also with the New Orleans family justice center. And Pam Albers director of regional training institute at the New Orleans family justice center and Morgan talk about that justice center. But this is such a wonderful idea I think that's the bottom line. I I actually agree with the majority of men do not approve of this kind of behavior at all but we really don't hear -- So what would it mean if we didn't I think that's the big deal. Or right now we're looking getting gauging the men and reaching out and in informing them about domestic violence with domestic violence is. And how different. Different things that they can do or different things that they can say. Can help to reduce hopefully reduce the occurrence of violence but also helped to. Helped to change its men's and -- attitudes towards women. Yes and some of those things and basically. Telling. Make that having the men stand up against things like -- a man talks about a woman or cat calls. You know had. To -- person and say you know I really don't like that and that would change a lot of things right there just having the man. Who has a strong feeling against this is usually when that happens they need to sit there silently don't say anything. And that's basically condone inning with a person since and so we want and be able to get a cadre of men together. Who will listen to the issues learn the issues and go out in the community and advocate. For. Helping the world because I think you're right some some men don't think that. That kind of behavior it's it's very disrespectful -- but it's the core -- the core belief of you know I can talk again about women -- it -- offensive. And you know men hate to get out of the it is there's kind of a a role that they don't want to book. We beat by standing up for -- hundred forbidden for lack of better term so they keep quiet. They don't they don't wanna look out of place in the quote unquote men's world but you know what yeah I think it's a lot more manly for someone to speak -- they believe and to stand up and say that. That's not what I would do. Let me ask you how prevalent. Is domestic violence in this community. Well and I think across the nation. We're looking at it is impacting one in three women. Across the nation and starting it theory theory on -- this week. Clinton high schools to talk about dating violence prevention and we talked to eleven year old girls. Were already having boyfriends and that's what difference being you know fairy. Aggressive in theory assertive with these young ladies and the dates they have often seen growing up that home -- In some ways think it's normal that they're really not understanding what they can't you were in some cases that it keeping on. And of course is talking about is really engaging me -- to be really great. -- still not bystanders that active people who are watching these things happen and and very often people. Including men and women don't know what to do when there's lots of freezes it. People don't inner pain and one of those reasons is that cut it by inner team will make things worse. And can I get hurt or can I get your -- heart and so on. It's important that we teach men and women and it's silly man and young boy east. How you can be somebody he's active in the community without hurting yourself or hurting someone else. I think there's. Also if for instance it. Certainly for people who might be aware that there necklace at their next door neighbor is abusing his wife and connect. That you don't want to you know that's -- somebody else's family issue it's too delicate a if somebody were walking down the street -- unmanned. Stood there and saw a woman being hit he minor things but there's something about I know that person that's their private business. When in essence you really have to stand out of that comfort. Exactly -- -- stand -- minions to do the right thing which is -- which may be. Preventing murder or solicitor serious injury now and and people have -- ballot in Gary real fears that if I say something if I do something is something going to happen to me because. We're human beings where we're going to protect ourselves and were going to survive and and it's a very scary thing to wonder if that if by intervened life be her somebody else beat her and I've told lots of people would you know there's lots of people on your block they don't know who's who has called police and he's. Got on horsemen evolved so. It's it's -- thought that it that comes across people's minds. -- things. Though domestic violence is primarily with the woman as victim. There are cases when minutes -- -- of the victim -- -- perhaps we can reach out and touch more men who had our victims. And who haven't come out before too and so it's important it's important to get. People adults involved in this -- is number one if it turns into a generational problem kids they grow up in the situation three times more. Or I think it was a 300% more. Like pro Syrian students. As an adult and also -- majority of the kids who live in those councils -- abused themselves. So that's something you said -- about. The eleven year old girls for instance sometimes I think that's a normal and that is very very bad very bad thing I think that's an. It is scary knees and we have newer balances that theory indeed we have lots of theories homes it and children see on the street they seen home EC general generational. Quarries and you to list. When you see models you really do accurate title -- start to think that this is how people treat each other and that's -- reached out and if you think it's normal I'm not commence in. Hand. So we have for really. Great program and a teen program that Jennifer Taylor that the justice thinner and they've done some amazing war. Writing protocol and policies. That they're taking the school board. On to see if we can't get these policies and protocols into high school's starting with a high school and it's just -- In Louisiana from seventh grade to twelfth grade. You have to have. In dating violence prevention and oh my gosh on the -- -- I think it. And so and and a lot of schools are really paying attention to that and they invited listened to their schools which this grade and lot of times that the policies and protocols for the schools. And because it is an. And so we're working very hard and ticket. Everyone stay with -- we're gonna continue talking to. To these two delightful people about the subject that needs to be discussed. Stay with us as we talk about men who are against abuse standing up. Right after this. Will we -- back with Cory turner and -- Albers both with the New Orleans family justice center. But we're talking about a specific program that there are starting engaging men engaging men project and and the core of it is. That man who who are against violence. Stand up. And and how specifically would you see them in what role which you see them helping. We see I see them going and speaking to us two students in local schools. Volunteering with local sports. Sports projects. Going to work with boys going to work with -- there's a program also that I am very interest in starring it's -- program that trains coaches on how to. Deal -- Boys and bring them into conversations about domestic violence. It's called coaching boys -- -- and and that -- it so we work with we would work with coaches to. Train them on you know 1010510. Minute discussions. While they're on a bus going to a game. On how to should. Respect women and how they should avoid. You know violence against women and sexual. Disrespect disrespect. Exactly but that that is a wonderful idea because they obviously have always admiration for the coach exam and a listen. But it is. You know it shouldn't be a difficult conversation to have that should be an easy one. That you know what we don't hit when. What we respect women we -- in and what -- saying incidents so many homes they see it the other way so that's what they know. Exactly. Before I came here I was a with probation parole or probation parole officer. And you still have 200 or more probation -- some parolees -- used to go out into the field and go to their homes and you'd walk in in the in there of the parolees have in permissions are fighting there. There mothers girlfriends wives and you have little kids in the room announcing he'd have the probation nurse who would. We would have to rest for beating up their mothers it's they they learn this from the community they see their own schools. Brothers. Fathers out in the community. Doing doing via -- you know creating violence and but they don't seem to be other people penalty repeat men who aren't doing the violence and who would talk about the violence that they were given the right platform to do so. And so doing it's doing a project like this. May open their eyes that you don't have to be violent you don't have to abuse women you don't have to denigrate women to be a man. What is what is a man -- -- -- defining what is a man exactly and it's the strength that's the discipline not to hit exactly. On top into the -- here to have put -- about it it's it's a very important discussion because if it happens quietly behind doors when people don't know. And and you know women have again -- the climate all of their fears of civil want to just leave we know that economically they -- -- All kinds of reasons. Well women there are bound by economics. There. Bound by a meeting in Washington provider -- over there -- -- that their children. And you know in gosh twelve years I'm still a baby to this that. And all the years have been doing this work at the heart if this is I don't want this relationship to -- I want the violence and and I want the person. -- and that. Mayor reader got involved with to beat. And by being back is the person that they -- and now it's. Usually not the person they got into the relationship with you lock this person for lots and lots of great reasons these are not women with. -- health issues or anything like that her bad relationship they say their picker is broken all the picker isn't broken. At more than likely -- Her people who possibly have changed over the years -- possibly were really really good at hiding violent behavior from the theory theory -- and so on it's to stand talking to men and women said that they understand the dynamics in -- Nobody is broken because -- in this kind of relationship then there are lots and lots of good men and women who ward who don't have this behavior. Her that well that's it. But it is in this particular program trying to get those men who would feel comfortable saying you know I've always felt that but I've not spoken out about it. Exactly and at that then that that would be a powerful. Powerful thing for -- -- the command say. And it's happening across country they're different programs across the country that are doing business and and so why not bring -- here where we have. A lot of violence and community and perhaps. By addressing violence in the home. When addressing violence against women we might feel the filter this -- into a nonviolent community maybe in. Hopefully sooner than the next generation but -- well. -- -- generation and I'd like to say that historically men have not really -- her next T work in the field of domestic violence. And yet the truth is we welcome them to do this work. And it's I just again in the twelve years I've done inside it can't tell you that we've ever been really. Like this aggressive and looking for a man who would join us and the fact is we need me and because nod. Every man is a violent -- there are lots and lots of theory theory could men like he says he would do this work if given a platform. And we can help offered that platform and help give me in a way that they can't speak -- and in -- productive and very hopeful. And that's the thing and women want to talk about their experiences. I've gone and spoken about this program for the women come up to me and talk about. How they were abused by their husband. And now they're sons in trouble for views its cookies. And cyclical yes stay with -- everyone will continue the conversation right after the news. -- we're talking about the majority of men who were very much against violence violence against women violence in society. Bob but. Somehow. Pulling them together. And and letting them be the voice that I personally think men who do are violent. They will hear them louder. I really do believe that but once society says this is absolutely unacceptable. From -- That it will work better yet so this is still on track for what we need. Definitely in. And October is domestic violence awareness month and that's when I'm going to be really kicking this off and going to college campuses and going and going to other meetings around the city and discussing the problem domestic violence in the city. And recruiting men. To go -- from. Rotary clubs kiwanis clubs in you via and then like that would be terrific exactly people who are in business owners. -- business owners. There is a large cost of domestic violence to businesses. So you need to -- business owners need to look at that because. If if if they could. Some 728. Billion dollars a year. Is what it cost. Companies to address there ramifications that domestic violence. And that sent -- -- TV. Insurance premiums go. If you know you have. Insurance and you need the health care if you injured -- domestic violence. Retraining. People who lose their jobs not because they are battered women that. Possibly because there. And batter has come on teen in the property and has cost apple. Lots and lots of different things that happened so. Domestic violence -- that this issue. It's a safety issue its bottom line it's about. Right and how. Broken woman must feel. To be hit. Have to go to work I try to performs Max an injured just. Demoralized. And he's -- -- work and yeah one the biggest fears that women have. Other played and they have a pattern they are in constant fears that this pattern was at the workplace and it happens that when it's more likely to happen is if she has left their relationship and she is still in her job. What -- where she works. So let me just go find her work. And yet and it's very difficult for women team top to their players. To violence and most the time women say their their other biggest fears that -- be fired. If anybody finds out what is happening and so they don't say and in their batters as work in everybody's afraid and and quite honestly could be in danger I mean we've seen absolutely -- the things on the news of what is the car and so on and there's lots of reasons that that would in danger out there. What you're trying to do and can assist the family justice center and the family justice center was born. It was after the storm immediately after the storm immediately after the storm and was one year to the day we open on the anniversary of hurricane Katrina and and the goal of the family justice center is that it pulls in all of the components. Such as school police. The police at the and a PD has there and domestic violence unit the DA's office has their domestic violence response team we have two options that these advocacy center. We have children's programs on crescent house which is the emergency shelter and part of the family justice center. The civil legal services through I think and then projects say in southeast central service people. So it's all under one route -- one stop -- them. They have their an office in and they key personnel to us. And we provide office space. And the great thing is it's completely safe when we opened real middle small firehouse and entries were there until his -- on Julia street now we're over in the post office building. And survivors can come in in their buzzed in. We have postal police that works with us so while they're there they don't have to worry executed by stalking them -- Anything so they can reel in the floor at the so peaceful and serene and mean it's very little outlets. Yes there isn't that nice and a great environment to be able to say okay. And I'm accepting what's happening now on how to move on and I need help and I'm saying and I'm saying most important. And a lot of people and we'll begin to feel like and you restraining order or temporary street border and they can get that list view and all of our services are completely free of charge when there's not a thing we charge for. I'm from clinical services team. -- counseling services. And we have a vocational in TD readiness. So we -- -- The mansion in in your experiences in. Talking to men who do better -- I'm sure you also meet them as well. When when asked. You know don't want don't you know it's wrong to can't you stop it what are their you know. They feel they have the right to do it did they think this is the only way they can handle something. Handling them from probation and probation side they don't see anything wrong with that behavior. The only reason why they have changed or that tried to changes because they're being supervised probation officer. They have all every intent. Unfortunately doing it again and but they're not -- it. Well sometimes they did do while there are provisions girl but at least the one good thing about that is with probation parole and probation parole officers. Go after that immediately when they get a complaint we. Probation -- axle -- one of the great things about being on probation. That they connect on things immediately and and detain them in jail and so everything's worked out. Words mean and not getting the message when they go to jail. And broke the law this is wrong don't do it again. Well we have high recidivism rates for everything. So it's not just domestic violence. People are going in and -- -- under the jail. It's just -- problem. There are tighter intervention programs in the city not a lot of people in those services -- scary scary he can't. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- And that batter's intervention programs don't work on every time there's three different kinds of factors that can. It might work on there as people and tired of this people. 80s%. Said. So. While it's. Just a that's where first and me and for me it works it works Mary -- but it takes. Complete understanding that this is wrong and make an enormous commitment to complete shift in the way. Treat people -- be read about the properly. On. 13% of the time. So that's one thing. -- So is there any hope that that could improve. -- I'm not. Tally who is probably the best expert in the cities and -- universe if you haven't had him and giving applied helped him come on come -- -- Utley hit him. Please -- -- and he's that directorate in Ph.D. program at university and this is his restarts. It matters and he's. Dairy -- heat. We will definitely giving him at all method if you're listening for and I listening come on in -- sign up at a upstate where this will be right back and Angela on WW. Once again we are joined by Cory turner and -- Albers with the family justice center. Wonderful organization that -- all of the aspects of of justice together and it is for domestic violence and other kinds of violence that certainly sexual violence. Women children. And it's all in one place and that's what we're talking about the commercials -- you have -- DA's office partly in their yet police in the area. The whole work so if somebody comes in they don't have to go to 42 different places takes beautiful idea it doesn't have to be just women. Now if that I'm sorry that is correct so it is the it's open to any survivor piece of regard. But our subject today really is the rallying point for men. Who truly in their hearts are -- against violence against violence in women against violence period but. And trying to galvanized them so that they become a force in this battle against violence. And the domestic violence is which is horrific. Is just is just part of the violence we see on the streets exam is just one giant. So how to we chip away at this. And I think it's fabulous is that these people have put together. An art show and -- an. A -- of art but an art show that will -- soon in August. August 3 through the six -- at the Hyatt on loyal. Right the big -- the big one. Six Illinois and it is art done by survivors and their children yes absolutely. We have the exhibit itself will be on the second floor of the Hyatt hotel -- the Strahan and exit. And so -- yes it's free and open to Hillary it's -- to the public but the messenger trying to get across news. The bat well every single piece of artwork has done by survivors and artists so healing for anybody who's been through any kind of trauma and they assist giving. Everybody who did a piece of this our away team half of voice about -- -- into it and but not only what has happened to them but how they have healed and the process that they've gone tree heels. This is these are adults and children that can -- to have a -- there. And a I was telling the folks who came from. American pervasive problem -- association it's their conference. They were half in the art exhibit four at Ascot Stevenson. Was telling them that we have all been so surprised because. So many things came out to the art that we never heard and that there be sent -- case managers. We're all just we have to response was such a chance. 0% chance the kinds of art there but what came out that. Didn't come on the extent of the violence that they had. Lift when it and viewed especially with the kids have seen -- It's so wonderful but it's always really hard for them to Tom can artists increasing need for that so. Think -- all we were all a little bit surprised it. Number things that. Severity of things to say that we were ultimately -- on its batteries and tears from the probation parole but yeah racism for us old folks for a little teary -- it is funny. We're just really equipped and increasing. -- that the concept of men. Against violence. Was your idea. It was an idea that I'd seen -- other in other areas of the country and it's something that we were talking about for years we share and -- giants -- -- -- moving campus now's the time to do with the violence in our communities and and it it's the right time it's the right time. And so we're looking at violence in the home as a starting place and of course moving from there and violence into the communities but I. -- you address to violence against women eat it it's a natural move into -- -- -- The now. You're absolutely correct about that it. It you will then start going into schools going into the men's organizations. And rallying the troops exactly there's those that something that maybe would do next year in November it's called the white ribbon campaign started in Canada. After women who never root for women were killed on a college campus and spread across the in the across the world now basically. During November 26 through December 10 men Wear white ribbon to show that they don't support violence and so there's a sudden and eventually we wanted to. Start. Locally people what we had such phenomenal success in the legislature this year I think one of the high points more all the the domestic violence laws that were passed an -- We have to be among the best states now on the nation Memphis. We really are Californians really go anywhere right up there -- -- and that to me it's such a major step forward if it really an end and what that just says the time is right at the time is right and his interest. In their interest at high -- interested Greeley high schools and but it takes the dreamers and those of the to a view. You're both great stay with as anyone we'll be right back. I wanna think Cory turner and -- -- so much and for the family justice center for all it does. If you -- if you wanna be part of this gentlemen great man. 59240055924005. These people are on a mission and it's all good. -- if you certainly if you need help note that that senator is there for you thank you both have very much thank all of you and we'll see you tomorrow.