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WWL>Topics>>7-30 6:45am Tommy, do you hold grudges?

7-30 6:45am Tommy, do you hold grudges?

Jul 30, 2014|

Tommy talks to Susan Whitbourne, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, about anger and grudges and letting go

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

He had a brother. Not a fan. I don't wanna know you what you. I wanna see it -- tell us. I don't -- near my house. When you see young mother. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Talk about hold a grudge Michael in the godfather two against Prado who was. We can still -- face it which are not holding grudges Peter King from Sports Illustrated. Tweeting that Drew Brees and Roger Goodell had not spoken in three years. And that got -- sad thing about holding grudges and do you hold grudges 77% of you are pretty jaguar paying people are saying yes. Unfortunately. I do hold grudges in years used roomy wants it's it you're dead timing it's hard to come back but. I would love to hear from the audiences to six 187 he till 386 exit 890878. Have you ever thought that you know what you're dead to me but then all of a sudden you find it -- you know harder something happens where. You've reestablish a relationship that you thought you could never have a text consensus holding a grudge. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. And rationally I would assume there's a lot of sense of that emotionally. And those professor Susan Krause would Bourne joins us right now way. Professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and I would presume and his doctor -- pointers or not. Her -- -- problem and you work hard for that Ph.D. -- -- doctor which point. Tell me about holding grudges and why why do some people letting go and -- some people like me -- keep Chiu and and grinding and Q and in grinding. That it just becomes ingrained it means that. It and you were all over your mind and trying to even escalate it because now it's it's -- worker. And the other person involved at all art it's going out in your brain. That you -- play and replay and replay. Can from the court you're on you the question. But are they're not doctors some things that you know. People do to you occasionally and it's so serious that it would be hard for you'd ever. Bombay to trust them again never -- want to be around them Indiana while analysts everything was being video are you had a record of -- so. In that case do you just avoid whatever it is it's. Causing you the -- Steelers did do you just forget and not forget the house all our. I think it really depends. Irony that relationship. Unlucky person -- somebody -- -- to complete -- -- and it. You know dump something in -- days. You can in hockey damage here job. And it is. Very hard to get out each sheet that person and how you can that you would. Awkward. But it to continue to go lie -- you and increase gesture your blood pressure had connecting time. Is about Mueller. And the situation where. They would say it was best healing. Time. Time I get to a yeah I mean letting time -- -- out and seeing if -- subway. To. -- the pertinent. And -- girl and non committing -- like hello. Are like Michael did to Prado and got by the team that kind of thing right you're not intimidated. Now are. -- Oh that's true but it. You know I don't we. You know sometimes in the person's life who knows it's now. But what are there exercises he goes through for somebody that's harboring a grudge that'll at least allowed them to quit. Binding on and as opposed to. You know maybe you know again of maybe year -- you leery but you don't keep yourself at -- and that boiler. Yeah I think you're absolutely terribly. Mentally where urged. Different. Understanding. Whatever that traumatic brake while the event to hurt -- well. And start seeing the damage from. Other point of view this thing. PPG. -- that make it added that law. And those that make it period end well between away. And it Turkey you know feeling. -- know you want to start -- frame them I I think we're actually. It is. Expected to happen right away I don't think he would edit the -- be a lot and well. So late. Just offered something neutral. Bracket -- like hello all our product is you might surprise. Bet that he had been made they felt had been struggling with a break in relations. So it you're at the line to offer drought will. Volley and it happens you might be surprised -- the result of that. I don't mean to make is all about movies and TV shows but there's an episode of Steinfeld where Kramer apologizes to the champ and nieces but you know you started it. -- you upload -- unless somebody accepts responsibility for their actions. Yeah. Yeah the chance that the jet that was an example that the champ but you understand when a man's. -- and he is playing well apocalyptic. That is what you started like it. There are. I think that the worst part about it is just the effect -- it can't -- well. Because. I currently there. Stick I'm just increase your stress level which increases bad step in your body column that he at all. So that we're not -- their region that we interpersonal relationships. -- -- in -- Raymond and see how he meant that structure is it best you. So that. Look at. The block just didn't signal interview. On -- your health kick in the -- you guys can't. I appreciate your time getting contests come up the national contest and a hard break I have to double real quick question comes in. Is writing someone off completely the same as holding a grudge if you say you know what. I'll never see you again but I -- it's over. Yeah -- say I have to be reconciliation Politico. What can -- be but I think as time goes by somebody was that view. You money starts at that did a little bit more feel I think at the outcome we would hope that all these ski. Thank you doctor appreciate your time and I hope we talked to begin doctor seasoned pros would mourn.

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