WWL>Topics>>8-27 9:10am Tommy, ideal amount of kids?

8-27 9:10am Tommy, ideal amount of kids?

Aug 27, 2014|

Tommy talks to Dr. Deborah Gilboa (Dr. G), parenting expert & author of Get the Behavior You Want...Without Being the Parent You Hate!, about the right number of kids and parenting

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Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate)

Not bad right now. Dave Johnson with the call can and a 100000 dollars we normally do right now in morning lightening all we are our owner obviously breeze in the forecast I gotta be honest here you always make me think through robberies in -- I know I don't think any of us can hear the word breeze and not think it was drew break I think at the same thing when I say that tomorrow we're gonna talk about. The final scenes pre season game of course you know action for -- on WWL call me crazy. But I prefer the saints. To lose a game not throw it but for whatever reason now because Indians and texts from people's inalienable when we won Super Bowl we went pretty undefeated and yeah. Now we did and maybe go back to the 2009 pre season schedule league beat the Cincinnati Bengals Houston Texans the Oakland. Raiders but then they lost the last game of the pre season on Thursday ninth in the deal aka iron ten to seven so they went three and one. Three years in a row they want to know they won three. Of the the first three games of pre season whatever that means again but I know what you're saying -- Gregory people are coming out of the woodwork it just seems like when one when every year. Whenever you do that in Denmark got so well Drew Brees of course proud new father of four little breeze is now blowing through the house older oh man and doctor G Deborah -- load -- joins is now parenting expert Stanley doctor author of get the behavior you want without being the parent you hate the morning -- -- -- coming. Back thanks for taking time -- are ready jaguar opinion poll asking people. What is the ideal number of kids to have 0123. 40 -- to resign his vote getter at 57%. Drew and Brittany opting to have -- who knows maybe five -- odd stories -- and but is -- is there an optimum. Number of children -- for any studies that indicate a family's happier with more or less. Luckily there isn't an -- remember children. -- steady -- is that there are so many factors that play in Q. How many kids in a family for all kinds of different reasons and that. What makes the most sense for people is actually doing. What's right for you not trying to live up to other people's expectations. Not -- stricter resource is not having -- deal or anything like that happening. That tidbit yet the number of kids that makes sense to you and your partner. But haven't yet to save the marriage definitely acceptable. Every time never fails that. Antibody help realizes an ambulance and then tongue in cheek I don't. And when it comes to do what's right for you what you do where families. Factor in the economics of this I know some people think you know what will take as many as god gives us and everything will work on other families. People want -- you know it is terribly expensive I don't want the child to grow up like I did so. Now let me make sure I can provide for the child before you know the child is born so I mean -- of people look at. -- -- -- -- -- they and they were very poor and -- that you're leading no where pork you know it said. Think that I'm gonna have to do with your expectations. They're definitely parents to take account I would -- irresponsible child that I couldn't afford -- your college. But -- you have to think about the money before that I was even born we -- ourselves that reproduction. I think it right in Indian money comes your family. They didn't know they report they're probably very very happy. That's my that was my grandmother my dear departed this election anyway at the time might have been a little different and -- know how parents about about an eloquent enough to meet them. But I do you think back. Economic -- much liberal and Unita supply is unique and now. I've got to provide preached that I haven't had somebody special -- we can handle that Q and that the right thing created. Should really consider economics if you feel like. You know -- provided -- -- at a power out as many children as we possibly can. Then I think -- -- if you are resilient and not to look for resource does indeed the best you can for that family. That's gonna work out fine for you as well it's lucky I think that there's no right answer to how many kids. You know an answer of in terms of providing for kids and what you said about if you if you can beat Seattle woman needed -- all the money in the bank. Before yet had a child and that with the world would have been extinguished long time ago. Well some areas of the world I don't wanna. Didn't know that but I disappoint I'm making is. From. People that I know that have had late life surprises where they get kids 120 and maybe nineteen and all of a sudden they got a new family member. I've never heard anybody regret that. I agree. That the and that people care -- I really think that. There's a reason for example women talk about -- a lot in my practice they say labor which -- hard -- -- how hard. Because there it. With children -- it is what you want and it can be. Comfort outlook saying a real joy even in its challenges and finance that there almost -- to challenge for pretty much everyone regardless of their their children -- -- -- -- Drew Brees but I get where you don't want that. IDG I appreciate your time is someone who wants to find out more about you or your website you books what do they do. I. Can achieve. High we'll -- -- thank Kennedy pressed for time today have a great UTU. As a doctor G saying that her grandmother one of eight kids grow up poor never knew they were born in the very very happy. Now with us it was different. We knew we report and we hated each other so you know different experiences there when we come back -- -- deal at T six 1870. Told 3866889087. He will what do you think. Is the ideal number of kids to -- how many do you have when you were growing up. How many siblings did you hand. Did did you know you were. Ward did you mind hidden hand me down clothes did you all get along and would you rather have had more siblings. Then. Stuff or less siblings and more stuff. Andrew Williams opened for a boy or girl. Honestly and then that's another question boy or girl which are easier to raise or they both the same. I at first I wanted to Boyd led it in -- one because. I think it would have been too tough on a boy I just think that's the way it would happens I think it always works out. What are your from yellow we come back at 260187. 203866. 889087. Mean if you hand or knows somebody that had one of those late -- surprises. How they deal -- that in everybody I've spoken to to which that's happen said it was a big is blessing of their life we'll talk to you when we come back on -- Seven WL. We'll Paul -- for you now. Well I don't know who lives. Mono -- live news. -- or request lines are open at. Talk about hits and an -- much easier can make this week and give me colony now. How many kids you have indeed think it was the right number do you wish you would have had a couple of more. I have one I wish I would've had either two or three. A text comes in here Tommy we have assigned college another sunny and high school when we had twins. Both are now seniors at UN know what an awesome blessing. Until you've had more than two kids this -- says no one can understand true sacrifice. Signed a father of four. And that brings me a story that's trending on our web site which concerns deadbeat parents in Louisiana apparently. They have the money to go do some gambling -- has seen. And I would say a lot of gambling because what happens is there's a law the casino intercept program started in September of eleven. That they won't let non custodial parents who will money. Keeping gambling winnings. And like there's nothing against any casino but I think you have to realize that if in this case. A total of two. Million dollars plus taken from 15126. Non custodial parents who -- child support. It's it's not easy to win at a casino. So if this 15126. People won two million dollars. I would hazard to guests they played a lot more than that man's money that they should have been paying. In child support. Biggest seizure individual who owed back child support 123400. Dollars at Boomtown. And Harvey and then they told -- -- -- did. Any time somebody wins over 12100 dollars and casino has a cross check with that program. To make sure that nobody owes back child support and I think it's a great thing -- and I think the other question here issued you have kids that you cannot provide for. Because I don't see how you can be both signs on on both sides of -- I don't see how you can say. Children are a blessing from god and they just happen and you should welcome them with open arms and love them. War. From these people need to pay for their own kids and I'm tired of it because somebody has limited skills that. And I gonna get a high paying job and if they have. 4567. Or even two kids how to they hope to provide form. So ends army that we what's your experience in which your philosophy on it -- you have a child. That you can't provide for should people do better should they somehow discipline -- limit themselves. To make sure that they only have kids that they can reasons is cause -- Kind of is some confusion in your hand because well in my case I think I welcome whatever happens. But in their case not so much because my tax dollars go to race them. And are you happy with no kids. Did you make a conscious decision not to have children have you ever regretted that. I would have an he regretted not having a child and I think the reason. That I'm so happy and the reason that people who don't have kids don't understand it is. You never thought that loving a child so unconditionally could bring out. Such a good person. Chip -- motion from the EU. Such a pure feelings from view and it's not all about you it's about this child it's dependent on you in that you wanna raise the right way to make sure. That that they you know they're good people good citizens. And that they not live their lives and become productive member of society so I guess in the way it's your piece of art that you can leave behind their people. Will hopefully treasure for some time and that they will change a lot of people that they. Company contact with that but the thing that stunned me most and I'd like to ask you about this as well. As -- call in and tell me NT six -- 187803866889087. What was the first emotion or what changed about you when you had that first child. Because that's what changed in me I had no idea that I could love something that unconditionally. Without expecting anything in return I really didn't think I was capable of that so how did it change you -- kids. Changes some of the attacks that are common and what happens when you marry a woman with children. And you don't agree with their methods of raising so you avoid having anymore children. I don't know I guess he got an allegation -- a tough time of it no one should have children they cannot afford to have or provide for. And and offered. Defining cannot afford -- provide for. By without my help. So in other words if you know it if your idea of her of a family is a kids. And technically you're providing -- because you're not -- grade their -- -- And knew where and where we can hand me down clothes and Livan and a ramshackle house. But at least you're not asking me for money so you're providing for the kids. Might not be the way I'd do it but songs you -- and ask me. I say Euro you're providing form. Balances on -- guy was -- -- about having three women pregnant at the same time what blank. This sex and understand how couples can have zero children they can't be fully happy. Once as my mom my mom is one of seventeen at seventeen. At one point Miami and grandmother. Mother and daughter were in the same hospital at the same time both giving birth. Now to me that means they should at a television set. Russell good morning and evidently well -- on. -- an -- could tell tell me about heaven a child and how many do you have and all of this and talking about. Well relatively recent father mama want an only child daughter by the turn one technique actually. I got to be on cry like a little baby is born project trying to. What is it that changed about you live a and you heard me say my feelings about one when my daughter was -- what is it that. That about heaven this -- let people that don't have kids and I'm not trying to say that one's writer one's wrong. Bullet they don't understand people letter child listens I I don't know how in the world you can do that. What would you say to them. I mean it is entirely empirical means -- rarely ever respect the experience that ultimate you know. I'm sure well. Everything everything changed her perspective -- do agree that it may. You ought to get about and the fact that. We are. Now is that you only -- Yet the only -- and -- and jumped back toward earlier and it -- it Il. You know like and -- -- intently at this point that we one -- adding that but I think it spent the go one of the do you can do to your culpable. -- you feel like you can do and. How -- go -- I'll be Russell aren't there I'd -- funny young Andy did this if I may ask them that trying to. Get all up in your business or anything but what are you planning on this or did it just -- crisis. No actually surprised and it to be looking at it he would at least on. Really yeah I -- -- -- and an hour and a pretty pretty rough spot for a little while and we'd be -- to a point where we were -- to believe that with each -- and -- -- -- let me get pregnant and it's been it's been wonderful respect and look -- the better topic but it's -- -- And that's a complete. A completely different thing than having a child with a goal of saving them there. Yeah. You are among others. Out there currently here. Thank you Russell glad you called and a pre Colombian man enough to be candid. No problem I had to go BTU I get a taxi comes in an avenue of fishing pole could collect so much dust I found out after I had kids. Well I would say the same thing for golf clubs and golf bag if I could even remember. Where they are. Right now time for -- W offers news that we go to David blatant and call living off. If you don't -- kids can you understand what it's like to be apparent when you know we -- that. Oh thank you David Blake talking about boys and girls in each year easier to raise and that would go back to David bowling. Yes and the answer is. I'm right about even. As I have a boy and a girl which did you find easier I -- I thought they were both great. What with the differences in raising attitude of the call c'mon now introduce you could write a book files count us out we -- well and let me just -- -- -- against type and yeah I was a little more anxious. About my daughter. Because of the teenaged thing in the I don't know you just as a dad you're just worried and that your baby girl and guys have evil intents. Well way easier on one then the other. Yeah you easier on a girl larger. Will be new and that's why I'm glad had a girl because I think I would have been entirely on. Too tough on a boy -- here's something else now since you know it's just those girls talk and I think. Boy -- an effort -- -- a delicate. Well I I think when you talk about teenage boys coming around I think one of the things that dad's. Struggle with the issue what your daughter to have a normal. Happy healthy life in all areas you do. So I think also some people's -- jokingly some not so much. When you say you're gonna have a shotgun and you know what you're daughter dating etc. etc. Well then you kind of make an -- abnormal do you really want some. Woman -- and home with the and it turns eighteen that's never been on a date. They goes off to college doesn't know anything about boys now even in college you very concerned about who she's dating and and not not that you shouldn't be concerned about who she's dating hurt but the fact that she is. What's going on and two to phrase it. Just put it out there. It's a balance and I think it's different with boys because and it's a double standard I realize double standard because review of the old pat on the back with the guys you know and well on it like I even think if I had a boy. I would say you know what it's not a it's not about numbers it's about respecting yourself and this is a very. Serious act then it's a very sacred act if you will not necessarily in terms of religion but. As close as you can get to somebody else if it's done right it's not anything to be. You know they'd taken for granted like bullying and yes -- not a not your on your holster right so I think you would or even your bowling shoes exactly what to carry that metaphor Ford but 88 when it comes to girls I I think you know everybody I think it's the same one that voted that way you -- you don't want the boy. The boy heaven a different view than the girl but yet you don't want the girl Libby cloistered either because what's gonna happen when she gets married what's in the happened. In in terms of you know dad's always in a back never mind -- I don't think you went that day. Yeah I and then what's the whole thing when when the girl. Brings decides to bring whoever it is she's stating home you know dad this is Chad. And you're kind of looked. Noon. You know. He had wanna know the -- it would Hussein because. And parents that like to talk to you about that as well if you teenagers brought home somebody in David that's an excellent point. That you didn't like what you do -- because I ask you if if you express your dislike what's gonna happen David. Our she's gonna turn on you and away and and go even closer to hear back the other way around yeah. And how do you feel about interracial dating how would you feel as somebody brought -- your kid brought home. Boy or girl of a different race. Would you accept that and he's -- a -- you -- it would be tough. For you yeah I've I would think I would try. But I I have to admit openly I would be very difficult. Well I think it's very honest -- you me. I think it all goes there and I'm not better than you or anything and I and it's my philosophy oh win in your kids -- minds eighteen. So long as it's a good kid and I -- you know well that's the crash comes in all collars. And if you don't have a plan for life if you don't have a a plan educate yourself that you're not going anywhere in life. Get from around here she'll -- any place here. Now conversely. If you do have a plan educate yourself a plan they have a and a good life not that I'm not educating my daughter and take care of herself because that's a lesson -- always tried to TG -- depend on anybody. You take here yourself but you know only if viewers some idea of -- with goals with ideas who wants a limit a really good life and a decent life. I don't care what -- you tell me NT six -- 1878 till 3866889087. Any we will give you an anonymous name. If he going on here and use your real names are Jordan why don't you pick. Famous US senators today it was signed Jordan's political geek. And I mean hundreds who respects so he'll give you a famous senator's name if you don't wanna go on. As yourself -- giving a whole lot of questions I would hope you call in and talk to me about it Tommy Tucker -- WL. Hi Tommy Tucker talking about old just about everything related to kids after your run Brittany have their fourth. And I know they're done yet out of he's made any comment on that but you know one I think if I could have afforded it I think a good. Of course things have changed but at that time I think if I could have afforded it I would've loved. A big family with a you know four or five kids around and around but I know that's terribly expensive and when I see people. That have teenagers particularly boys. You know I got 34 teenagers run around I can't even imagine. Going to the grocery store and trying to bring -- bring home enough to feed these people and and I jokingly ask some time but he cook two turkeys at Thanksgiving they say he had bill. Comic -- next year. And this is not com. Particularly nice but I mentioned you know I don't care what color. You are so long as you don't try to date my daughter if you if you have no goals in life no ambition and now quite frankly you're a loser that's a case -- from around here. -- -- -- -- and is -- I can't believe you would accept your daughter dating someone who isn't -- don't you care about her dignity. Or respect among her friends. And and it's pretty harsh but whoever texted this I can tell you that times have changed. Is not like it used to be. And then after that text if you -- if you're a parent and you have a child dating somebody that is of a different race. I would love to hear from you right now a meanwhile Wednesday morning -- -- WL -- Dylan. -- Hit yet yes. -- I think you're right and I'll let you know they thought I -- These -- I that it. I don't even though. It changed you'll like it came -- Not that I you know I. Think generations now. Now. How many kids do you have -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- I had him I am you know whoever you and added -- yeah I -- At -- you'd be able to. But what he'll look at -- her -- if you have a son -- did the girl that he brings some young lady what are you looking for and her. I'm good at it -- You need to. Know 88 -- And about religion. -- -- You know and it. Some pretty. Good at it. And it is he beat the -- -- -- What. A more Mormon religion would you access -- -- they were a Mormon on his guns dollar. But what if she -- to date him -- change him convert him. -- You know let Amy sound like a great mom you really do. Hey it. IPSec what is your husband is the same way does he feel the same way. Vitriolic think you raise -- kids properly had a great day -- appreciate Colin. Ready to Jerry we go hi Gerri aren't evidently well thanks for calling. Say you bill good. Opt out call and got up on seventeen. Like boy I buy it and got to address -- market tell them it cut. Oh -- except. And I had a breakdown bulk and -- well -- close -- -- bet we're. And UK authorities in they've they've -- on financial. I had a -- -- older people during new years. Yet appeared but you know we truly disgusting. Is that it. I had one. On him and I had a one on one. They -- And the you know should. -- can't really noticed -- noticed that but thanks for point that out. Well I think they've had trouble that led added that he's black while really Nokia. No longer Arctic and salt and Ambac dot com. Let me -- Should. Remain nude or semi. You know like a mop and a lot. They're six and as you know -- top. And I told us on -- will look net. It ending of each of the place where -- -- of drugs and society. The -- but ultimately it. And in -- -- financial that you but it you'd find itself allotment shot get hurt and had children. -- people but to challenge the challenges -- make stronger and. And utilities you say that Jerry you make me saying that I can't believe that a couple. That are in it together -- almost have you know cabled or against -- no problem I think -- and almost make the relationship stronger. No it's almost accountable challenge and because the they're they're rarely passed on more than any thing they did that day. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- how did your family except as he had any problems with some relatives and about about her family. What are probably. I don't watch it is only a mile -- And -- In that anomaly. You know what month are on for like like an yeah yeah they're not -- Actually. Problem but they know that it. When somebody that com. That's the first qualifier he's gotta be why now that's neat is kind of this backwards because Casey tell me to be a drug dealer. You're telling me to be met -- you tell me that he NBA burglar. -- convicted -- whatever. Sex offender but some Agassi's white -- test the first challenges what you talent. When you -- it up moderately. -- and held and thank you haven't been able to take a break come back more calls we come back into six point eight symphony. 0386 exit 8908. And he added it. Another parent eminent to Jerry's and they Gary's Wednesday yeah. In black crime. Or you can hit me. Man it's a little late to get his feedback but banks. Will be back and evidently. -- Tommy Tucker talking about kids interracial dating a pretty good email here from John. Atomic public guys have shown interest in my sixteen year old daughter white -- moment in trusts only because. He seemed to wage too comfortable around my wife and I turns out later tried to make a move on my daughter's friend's party which bothered her and she shared with me. And again as black extremely polite to my wife and I'm very respectful to my daughter's sixteen year old senior who got a full scholarship to play soccer out of state. My daughter to me she's not ready for appointment which is great but I told her that when she does him -- inning guy he needs to be like the black -- color doesn't matter to me. It's all about being polite and respectful and John appreciate the email the only thing I would say. Is at a soccer plea would be a deal breaker for me just kidding -- -- wrote hi -- WL morning. Hey Paul. Way yet Paul. What's going on Paul. Where you've been Paul. A link calls there which actually kind of cast -- in the final minutes of proceedings here today writes a Garland Robinette is coming up. With the think tank of the gates at any via via the scene in town in the big about ski. Where. Which is named the big deep voice sits next to. The big about a ski and says sometimes you -- the bar and sometimes the bar each year. Garland Robinette Joseph today will roads and bridges in Louisiana. Ever get fixed. Louisiana's got a twelve billion with a B dollar backlog in road and bridge needs. And cries for help coming from all over the state but state faces a billion dollar plus budget deficit legislative task -- been formed a funny answer. To that familiar refrain where we gonna find the money. And the super rich to blame for shrinking middle class on the today at a conversation with a lady at the grocery store yesterday about pork. And how that's getting outrageous like BP is and it's not just. Port people that are dominicans of buying groceries on Tony man a lot of miserably tweaks to you know what knows why. And finally garlands could talk about the government having a right to seize your property if you have not committed a crime. Class action lawsuit filed in Philadelphia to stop prosecutors. From seizing homes. Who have never been charged with a crime called civil war for two hours a lot of information. Coming up with Garland thing tank three hours -- the gates avenue to the WL.

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